hellion and x23: the fragile
by onelildustbunni
Summary: An ongoing fiction story that follows Laura  X-23  and Julian  Hellion  through current comic and original events. Universe 616. This will run like my own private comic  somewhat similar to my Helix series .
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: **the fragile  
**STARRING: **Hellion/X-23  
**UNIVERSE: **616  
**RATING: **M  
**SUMMARY: **An ongoing fiction story that follows Laura (X-23) and Julian (Hellion) through current comic and original events. 616. This will run like my own private comic (somewhat similar to the Helix series, but 616).  
**TITLE NOTE: **Named after Nine Inch Nail's 'the fragile'. Worth a listen.

* * *

**1- Chapter 1.**

Laura looks at the ground. She's trying to gather herself enough to say what she's thinking, trying to catch the thoughts that flit through her head like rays of light, but it's very hard. She's spent a long time thinking of this, trying to piece it all together.

She isn't good with these kinds of things. Laura is good at the practical. Math; calculus and trigonometry, she does well at. Science; chemistry, biology, and physics, she can explain almost any reaction as if she is a textbook. English; her compositions return with no red marks, and nothing but positive feedback. Her combat is flawless; she can easily outperform most X-men, even some of the core members. Most of them, actually. Including Wolverine. She is a smoothly oiled killing machine.

But therein lies the problem. Laura is a machine, or so she feels like. Human notions, concepts, lie just beyond her grasp. She is detached; other people call her cold, strange, a psychopath. Killer.

They repeat it until it's true. Laura has never been so aware of her inadequacies. Her human contacts before had been her mother. Her Aunt Debbie and her cousin Megan. They had loved her, and had accepted her, and helped to her understand the world beyond her reach. But they were all gone now, and Laura is trying to figure out things for herself.

It's hard. Her eyebrows draw together.

"Hey," Julian says to her, after a few moments have passed by.

"Hey," Laura answers, in a small voice. She clenches her fingers in her pockets. She's not certain what she should say; every little action she makes is scrutinized by the other children. It was easier to be on Cyclops's team of killers; no one had paid attention to her there.

In the past, Julian has almost led this affront against her, with a vindictive glee. He loves to highlight how inadequate a human being she is. He can be cruel, and quite obnoxious around her, and he's made her burn with unexplainable but violent emotions before. Pure sensations that range from negative to pleasant, and in-between. There have been times that Laura has felt disgusted and ashamed at herself, for mixed emotions. She's cried over his words, at the same time as feeling excited that he's singled her out for them.

"Haven't seen you around lately," he says, smirking a bit. "Not the same, you know, when you're not getting me in trouble and stuff. Or, like, kicking my ass."

Laura says nothing. What is there to say? She's avoided him, lately. She's been too busy killing to keep him and the others safe, all the while sinking deeper and deeper into her pit of hell, or what the others call hell. To Laura, it's the cage. Her facility cell. The place she returns to in her dreams. It was hot there.

She's avoided him because, lately, she's reinforced how inadequate a human being she is.

Julian studies her. A few moments pass; suddenly he reaches out. "Here, let me get—" he freezes, suddenly aware of the fact that he doesn't have a hand. "Damn…I'm…I'm sorry. I forgot I don't have…I forgot." He falls silent, suddenly looks a bit lost; he tilts his face down. "Listen, maybe now isn't—"

"I have missed you," Laura blurts. She realizes she has, and also why she's said it. This is the first time she's seen him feel inadequate, realizing he's not whole. Perhaps it's given them something in common.

He looks at her again, surprised. "You've never said that to me before," Julian says, brushing away a leaf with his mind. The energy is warm, and Laura blinks.

"You know I am not good with words," she says. She hesitates. "Or anything else."

Julian shifts, and his cheeks flush slightly. He seems embarrassed. "That's not true."

"That's what you said," Laura states, clenching her fists in her pockets.

"I didn't—" he crosses his arms, or what's left of them. "I was a stupid kid, okay?"

"It was only a few months ago," Laura says.

Julian looks down. "Yeah, but…"

They are both silent for a few moments. Then he speaks again.

"Look, I said some things to you that I probably shouldn't have. The truth is…well, you're intimidating, Laura. I was afraid of you."

She tilts her head. This fits; fear had always been a part of his scent.

"But…I've had some pretty heavy stuff happen to me in the past few months," Julian says. He swallows, reaches up and rubs a stump against his neck. Laura can almost see the phantom of his hand, of his fingers against his skin.

"You—I heard what you did for me," he says. "With Deathstrike."

Laura watches him, not certain what he is trying to say.

"And the Leper Queen," he says. "Dazzler told me."

Laura's eyes snap open. "She _had_ to die," she says. Is he going to reprimand her? She inhales; she doesn't smell anger. Only herself, and Julian, and the scent of Summer turning to Autumn.

"I know." Julian hesitates. "She told me you were talking about me…before the soldiers took you away for questioning."

Laura remembers. Being carried away like a roast pig, the room distorted, then coming into sharp focus on sight of Kimura's face. On the buzzsaw. She closes her eyes. She doesn't want to think about that right now.

"And you came sat with me, when…" he looks down at his missing hands.

"Was that not right?" Laura asks, suspicious. Julian does not talk to her like this, not without making a point, and usually the point is that she's doing something wrong, that she's not acting normal. That she's 'creeping him out and to please keep (your) distance, clone'.

"It was…I'm trying to say thank you," he says, almost sounding a little annoyed. Then he catches her eyes, and watches her, his lips parted like he wants to say something more, but he's stopping himself. She doesn't know if the something more is negative, a reprimand, or an encouragement, to keep doing what she's doing. And she's not sure what that is. She shifts slightly, hands clenching in her pockets. She feels that ache, the yearning that she doesn't know how to satisfy, as she watches him.

"You are welcome," she says. She hopes this was the right response.

He smiles slightly, hesitates, then speaks again. "I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm not really afraid of you anymore. I'm more likely to get killed by someone else."

"Oh." Laura pauses. "I would never…" She feels the familiar edge of hurt that only Julian can bring about, like he's cut her with a hot knife, across the face. It's strange, because what he's said isn't illogical. He's not lying. It was a concern; it still _is_ a concern.

Her fists clench in her pockets, and she lowers her gaze quickly. She needs to hold in her rage, her sadness, her frustration, until she is alone and can safely express it.

"I didn't—" Julian sounds concerned. Like a few minutes ago, when he'd almost touched her with the stump of his arm, and had thought she'd be repulsed.

"It's fine," Laura says. She turns away. "I will see you later." This is an acceptable notification of her decision to leave; she has learned that by using a few choice words to announce her arrival and departure, she has made people feel slight easier about her presence.

For a moment, he doesn't react, and she walks away, towards the path. Then he runs after her, and touches her arm with his.

"No, wait," Julian says. "Please…that came out wrong."

Laura glances at his arm. "No it did not. Excuse me."

"I'm sorry," he says miserably. "That's how I felt. I _did_ say I don't feel that way now!"

"Then how _do_ you feel?" Laura asks, looking at him.

Silence, from both parties. She almost does not believe that she has spoken this thought aloud, except that Julian's expression—when she risks a glimpse—confirms that she has. It's a big question. Unfair. Laura would not like this question asked of her, nor would she be able to answer it. She knows the internal chaos inside of her _are_ emotions, and that other people have them. She doesn't know how others deal with them, nor does she usually care to hear about them. They are impractical, and a waste of time; she sometimes wishes she could go back to when they were carefully repressed within her, and a mere cutting session would alleviate them. She doesn't have Kimura to help her with inflicting pain now.

Despite all of her attitude towards emotions, Laura realizes she is glad she asked the question. She is interested, in what he thinks when he looks at her. Why does he sometimes treat her so badly? Why would he focus on her if she was someone he disliked?

"I don't know," he says finally. He moves closer, two and a half inches. He hesitates. "You've got to admit, there's something between us."

_Something between us. _Laura stiffens; yes, this is an apt description. It describes the emotional chaos he causes, and perhaps his own mixed feelings towards her. And it covers the physical reactions. It's the sort of electrical sensation she feels when Julian is near. Her hair stands on end, her spine tingles in various areas. Her stomach drops spontaneously, over random things. His voice cracking, him grinning. An accidental touch. Trivial matters that she is amazed that they can demand so much attention from her.

"Perhaps," she says cautiously.

"Do you like me?" he asks.

Laura is about to answer when loud applause breaks the silence. "I smell an OSCAR!" Rockslide roars.

She blinks. She had not been paying attention to their surroundings, and now several of the other X-children have approached. The ones that currently spend their free time tormenting her, and have taken over Julian's former occupation of pointing out her inadequacies.

"She's definitely giving _some_ kind of performance," Nori says. "You'd better watch yourself with her, Julian. She can't be trusted."

"Thanks for the advice," Julian says. "Although I didn't ask you."

"I thought the X-men didn't kill," Nori says coolly to Laura, looking her in the eye. The latter tilts her head; there is more going on than is readily apparent. She suspects it has something to do with the boy; Nori's body language does not contain fear. It's aggressive, dominant, trying to scare Laura off.

"The X-men don't." Laura says this truthfully. "I was not an X-man."

"She was on that cool black-ops force," Rockslide says.

Nori snaps her head around. "_Santo!" _

"Sorry," he says. "I mean…yeah! What the hell, X!"

"_Santo!" _Julian says, glaring. "When the hell did you start following _her?_

"She feeds me, dude," Rockslide says. "I'm impartial. Unless pizza's involved. And guess who organized that delivery last night?"

Nori raises her eyebrows. "This isn't about _following_, Julian. This is about how Laura isn't _safe_ to have walking around the island like this. Do we let serial killers walk free?" She steps, a bit closer to Julian, who glares at her angrily.

"We're in a war, Surge," Julian says. "In war, people get killed. There are soldiers, to defend those who can't. Grow up."

"She's _not_ a soldier," Nori argues. "She's a psychopath."

Laura can see that Nori is not going to change her mind, and more importantly, is not going to leave.

"I will see you later," she tells Julian, who nods slightly, his eyebrows drawn together. He looks upset.

**…**

Laura gazes across the water, thinking about what has happened in the past few days. She feels more ostracized than ever; the children's hostility has continued, to the point that she cannot use a public center without being verbally tormented. In the corner of her mind, she imagines silencing them all, in about forty-five seconds.

"What you doing out here, Laura?" a woman's voice asks. Rogue.

"Nothing." The girl looks straight down into the water.

The older woman leans on the railing with her, and smiles. "Yah should head down to th' beach, sugah. Be with th' other kids. It'll do yah good for a change."

"I do not like being with the 'other kids," Laura says, closing her eyes. "They make comments."

Rogue frowns. "About?"

"My involvement with X-force," Laura says.

"They're jealous," Rogue says, smiling. "You don't honestly think there's one amongst them that don't wish Cyke had picked _them_?" She pauses. "While ah don't agree with his methods…that ain't _yoah _fault, Laura. You did as yah were told."

"That's what they…remark on," Laura says. "'Mindless obedience', they call it."

"Sugah, you did exactly _right._ Cyke is our leader. Right now, we're all just chess pieces in a giant game o' chess...and you did yoah part, Laura. It don't matter what you done to do it…if Cyke told yah to do it, then yah done good." She puts her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Laura…ah don't mean to pry…but ah saw you…before. When ah touched you, for your healin' factor. And ah want to tell you what a long way you've come."

Laura looks at her, eyes luminous. Something about her manner reminds her of Sarah. Perhaps it's the fact that Rogue can see where she's come from—see, when no one else can or will—and still says that.

"Yoah mother…she'd be proud, damn proud, to see you now," Rogue affirms.

"My mother…my mother is dead." Laura looks down. "I killed her," she says, more quietly.

"No…Rice did," Rogue says. "You know that."

"It was still my claws." Laura looks out across the water. "I could have held my breath…"

"Don't be ridiculous, sugah." Rogue smiles again. "Yoah too smart for that." She straightens from the rail. "Anytime you want…come and talk to me, Laura. Even if ah'm sleepin' an' you have to wake me up. Ah like you. You remind me of mahself…when ah was yoah age."

Laura considers Rogue's words. After the older woman has gone back inside, Laura ventures down to the beach, where a bonfire is lit, and the other X-kids are sitting, on various surfaces: sand, logs of driftwood, and grassy areas. She sits down on a patch of grass, and tries to feel like she's part of these children, part of this beach, an integral part of the world that it won't function without.

It's very hard, and the pieces don't fit. She gets to her feet and heads up the beach again; on top of the hill, she sees Julian and Nori heading down, towards her, carrying beer obtained through some means probably involving Pixie and some less scrupulous adult on the ship. Rather, Nori is carrying, and Julian is floating an array behind himself.

They don't see her. Laura steps behind a tree, to watch.

"You're stronger than I remembered, Keller," Nori says.

"It's booze, and I'm transporting it. Of course I can carry alot."

"HAH!" Nori makes a noise of amusement. "I like your style."

"I like my style too."

Nori hesitates, and stops, putting the bottles down. "Keller…I need to talk to you about something."

Laura is suddenly completely alert.

"Yeah?" Julian stops too, the assortment of alcohol coming to a rest on the dusty path through the grass.

"I think you know what it is." Nori looks down.

"Oh." Julian seems uncertain. "Um, look…Ashida…"

Laura grips the tree bark. Nori is doing it again; touching what she instinctively considers to be her property. Julian isn't resisting it; he looks startled, and uncertain. The initial wave of rage passes, and Laura can see them with clear eyes. She lets go of the tree bark, feeling dull; a moment later she steps back onto the path and heads up. The two start at the sound of footsteps and break apart.

"Oh—" Julian says, his eyes widening. "Laura—"

She kneels, picks up a bottle that says '_Jack Daniels_' on it, then continues up the hill, walking very fast and not speaking.

"Fuck, Surge," Julian says angrily.

"Excuse me?" Nori demands. "You're the one that messed it up! You don't start chasing another girl while you're making out with one already!"

"We weren't making out!" Julian snaps. "You made a pass at me and I was too stupid to push you away. God damn it…" he picks up two bottles with his mind and heads back up the hill.

"_**KELLER! DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE, YOU LITTLE TURD! COME BACK! THE BOOZE!"**_ Nori yells.

**…**

Laura sits in a tree, watching the tide come in on the shore while contemplating life and taking pulls off the whiskey flask. It's very strong going down, but somehow this strength is reassuring, when she feels like she's had all the strength sucked out of her. Surprisingly, the murderous rage has not come, at what she has seen. She'd expected to lose control of herself, to demolish trees, rocks, earth, yell and scream in no human tongue until she scared off even the birds, and would be truly alone.

Instead she's in a state of apathy. She just wants to focus on now, on existing. If she concentrates very hard, she might achieve it, and finally be a real girl. Like her mother promised she would one day be. So far, this hasn't happened, and Laura is starting to believe that it never will.

"_**LAAUURRRAAA! **_Where _are_ you?" Julian's voice, echoing in the clearing. Laura takes an especially big swallow of whiskey. Her eyes smart, and tear up.

After about five minutes he finds her tree, and leans on the trunk, looking up. There are two bottles floating behind him. "Can I come up?" he asks. It's a tall tree; the branch Laura is on measures about ten feet from the ground.

Laura doesn't answer.

He floats up to the branch and perches beside her, eying her warily. "Can we talk?" he asks.

"About?" Laura asks, her pronunciation clipped.

"Well…what you saw."

"What did I see?" Laura takes another sip of whiskey. The bottle is halfway gone, and she feels a warm buzz, a pleasant sensation up and down her fingers and toes.

"Well…" Julian looks down. "Laura, I don't like Nori."

"Okay."

"I really don't."

"Okay." Laura considers. "I do not like Nori, either."

Julian hesitates, then reaches across the branch and touches Laura's shoulder with the end of his arm. "I didn't start it," he says. "For a second…I thought…what if she's the only one who…I mean I thought you…didn't."

Laura remains still; a few moments later his arm slips around her a little more, so he is holding her. "I'm stupid," he mumbles. Since they'd spoke a few nights ago, he'd begun to think that Laura didn't return his feelings anymore. Of course he'd known she _liked_ him before; how could he not, when she followed him around like a puppy. He'd made himself out to hate it, since it was weird, and she was creepy and scared everyone; but at the same time, he'd secretly reveled in the glow of being stalked, her recognition that he was clearly the alpha male and worthy of such behavior. Of course he'd ignored this. It was unhealthy, he had decided. He'd reacted to his conflicted emotions by being even more obnoxious when she was around, and at times this was a bid for her attention.

But in the past few months, she hasn't been around much (at the same time he had begun realizing how much he missed her). She hadn't readily admitted this when he'd tried to suggest they could have something, and when he'd come out and asked her directly, she hadn't answered. They _had_ been interrupted, but he would've thought that if she felt something, and saw a chance for reciprocation, that she would be only too happy. Especially considering how she'd followed him around, during the first few months with the X-kids.

Her face, upon seeing him and Nori today, had made it clear that he was wrong.

"Why?" Laura asks, holding the flask in between both hands.

He takes a breath, stops, then signals for her to let go of the flask. This is going to take courage, liquid courage, because he's trying to break down a barrier he made a long time ago. It's made of iron. He'd promised himself he would never tell Laura about what she did to him. That's why he'd tried to make it about her the other day, to make _her _admit her feelings first, but she hadn't bought it.

It's up to him now.

She complies, and he proceeds to down about half of what's left in the bottle in one gulp. He coughs, blinks, and shakes his head; then the bottle passes back to her fingertips.

"It's hard to talk about it." He pauses. "Give me a minute."

Laura raises her eyebrows, but says nothing. Silence reigns for about five minutes, interrupted only by Julian asking her to crack open one of the bottles he's brought. "I'm not drunk enough yet. Can you crack this one open for me?" He nudges her with the other bottle, the label of which says _Jim Beam, Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey_; Laura pops one claw and delicately slices the seal away.

"Always used to be afraid you'd cut my hands off," Julian mumbles. "Oops, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes," Laura says. She watches as he ingests about a quarter of the second bottle, then he waves his arms in the air as he swallows, like he wants to start talking but he has to wait till his mouth is free. She doesn't judge; she's still tingling from the whiskey she's consumed.

About half an hour goes by, in which Julian nearly starts a few times, then drinks more. Laura joins in, and soon they are teetering precariously on the tree branch.

"OKAY," he says suddenly, looking at her. "I'm ready. I think." He wobbles slightly.

"Perhaps we should…get out of the tree," Laura says, seeing this is a potentially painful situation.

"I've got to say this _now,_ while I'm all loaded…and…well, y'know, _alive…_" Julian lurches sideways, yelps, and Laura tries to catch him. They fall by the tree roots, him on top. "S'okay. I'm fine," Julian says, propping himself up on his elbows. "Jeez! Sorry! Did I…"

Laura doesn't notice the squishing, the bruises already healed. She looks up at him, her mouth dry.

"I _like_ you, a lot," Julian finally admits, in a hoarse whisper, his eyebrows drawn together. "A lot lot. Like…you have no idea. I know it's not the right thing…I don't know why I want you so much. I…I want to get closer to you…and…"

Laura reaches up and touches his face, hesitantly. He doesn't pull back; the skin on his forehead is wrinkled, and soft. Julian closes his eyes and leans his face into her hand, like he's been craving her touch for a long time.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

Laura runs her palm down his jaw. "For?

"I always wondered…what it'd be like to touch you," he says in a very small voice. "Now I can't. I waited too long."

She doesn't answer. For a long time they lay under the tree, her exploring his features with her hand, like a blind woman; her fingers run down his forehead, over his cheekbones, down his nose and lips to his chin, and back up his jaw.

Suddenly Julian buries his face in her neck and starts shuddering, his shoulders heaving with dry sobs that he hasn't released since he'd lost so much to the Nimrod attack. Since he'd been kidnapped and injected with the Legacy virus. Since he'd nearly died, impaled on Deathstrike's fingers. Since he'd lost most of his friends. He'd forgotten that when he gets drunk, it tends to come out.

She wraps her arms around him, sitting up and pressing her face into his shoulder, her own forehead wrinkled as she thinks about these things. No sound is made, no words are said, but she can feel Julian trembling with a rage and confusion as violent as any she has ever felt. An internal confliction, asking: 'Why _me? _What have I done _wrong?_' Laura feels this question almost every day. Her arms bear silvery X-shaped threads, a reminder of how she deals with that question. Julian thumps his arm against the ground, like he wants to punch it, but it doesn't have the same effect.

"God _**DAMN**__ IT!" _Julian says finally, pulling away, his voice hoarse, his face distorted and wet. "No matter how hard I try to keep it together…it all just falls apart in the end!"

Laura watches in silence.

"I don't know how to _**deal**_ with it anymore," Julian continues. "Fuck, look at me, I'm a fucking cripple. I'm not even a whole human being anymore." His eyes well up again, but he blinks the tears away angrily. "I'm a shell. I spend each day waiting for them to come back and finish what they've started, taking me away, piece by piece." He grits his teeth and breathes in and out.

Laura is no longer afraid of him. She feels less alone, too; seeing the being she'd considered to be the embodiment of perfection reduced to this; it gives her a sense of normalcy, that maybe what she thinks, what she feels isn't so strange. She leans forwards and touches her lips with his; he starts, but doesn't pull away, his attention suddenly shifting from anger to this kiss she's initiated. After a few moments, he leans over and scoops her closer. When they part for air, Laura covers his face in smaller kisses, quickly finding new things she wants to try.

They sit together until it is dark, alternatively trading kisses and watching the sun set as they bask in the effects of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Whoops re: Boom Boom! I know that well, not sure why I miswrote Dazzler there. I guess I consider them to be so similar or something. No offense to true fans, just not my cup of tea.  
I will be exploring X-23 in hell, and some other plots. Then Laura's leaving, like in the actual X-23 comic. But...wowowow I suddenly had an influx of plots and I seriously have about fifteen lined up.  
She's going to meet SO many people, many she's seen before. Notable figures in her history. People you WANT to see interacting with Laura, see her reaction...and I'm developing her here.  
And she has a mission, a really BIG rock-solid reason she has to leave Utopia. To drop a hint...it involves the facility, but it's bigger and further reaching than she ever thought it could be.  
Hellion's also going to get some major building up. I planned out a realistic, comic-style story here and I'm really excited to write it...this and Helix are the two stories that get my writing fires  
goin' and I find it majorly hard to turn off my brain and start doing Alien (aka math...yes I've reached the point were none of it makes sense). **  
**  
Hope you enjoy, thanks for your input! ~onelildustbunni

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**2- Chapter 2.  


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**

"Guess what I heard about your crazy _girlfriend_," Santo says at lunch.

Julian looks at him through red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes. "Don't call her that," he says in a tired manner before stuffing more fries into his mouth with his mind.

"Your girlfriend or crazy?" Nori asks, eyeing him.

Julian chews, swallows. "Crazy."

There is a silence at the table. Everyone is watching for Nori's reaction. She raises her eyebrow, self conscious. "Well…I'd have thought it was the other way around. Smooth moves, Keller."

"Thanks," he says flatly. "So what'd you hear, Santo?"

"That she doesn't sleep in her room anymore. She's always outside instead."

"She does go indoors. I went with her." Julian deliberately leaves this open to interpretation, and watches Nori twitch slightly, her features twisting in hate. In reality they hadn't, even though Julian had thought  
about it. God, he's thought about it. They've waited a long time for this relationship to start, and it's been long enough now.

But somehow he struggles with the idea of taking his bandage-wrapped stumps into a bed with Laura, expecting her not to notice. Would he take the wrappings off? He doesn't want to see the charred flesh. No. But  
it also seems fundamentally wrong to keep them on. There is no solution, and so he decided just not to press the issue, at all.

"Way to go, Keller," Santo says, sounding impressed. "Although I hardly support your choice of woman. X, _really? _You had your pick of the Cuckoos!"

"The Cuckoos are creepy clones of Frost," Julian says.

"X is a creepy clone of Wolverine," Santo counters.

"Oh yeah. I forgot." Julian pauses. "She's her own person though. The Cuckoos…you can tell they're just like Frost . Except there's three of them."

"Yeah but the Cuckoos are _hot,_" Santo points out.

"So is Laura," Julian says.

"Oh, it's 'Laura' now, is it?" Nori asks, her voice sharp with anger. "What happened to you being _afraid_ of her, huh? Suddenly it's all _Laura this_ and _Laura _that , after she gives you some tail. I see  
how it is." She pauses. "You're a jerk, Keller, a big fat jerk. And a loser."

"Sour grapes much?" Julian asks.

Nori stares at him for a second, then abruptly gets up and leaves the table.

"That wasn't nice," Sooraya comments. She has been silent before this.

"_She _isn't nice," Julian says. "I'm just making it absolutely clear to her that I'm not interested."

"There's no reason to be mean about it."

"She was mean to Laura," Julian defends. "If Ashida wants to be treated like a nice girl, then she'd better _act_ like one."

The meal continues on, mostly in silence, with some attempts at conversation by Santo and Victor. Finally Julian finishes and wanders off, thinking maybe he'll work on a paper he has. All the kids are currently enrolled  
in distance education, to a school in San Francisco. He's been keeping up with it, knowing that it'd be great to have a means to support himself should the X-men ever dissolve again.

He gets his books and a pencil, then heads for the outside picnic table area. Sitting down, he uses his mind to open the book, then to hold a pencil over a pad of paper beside it. He's still not great at writing with his  
mind; it looks like chicken scratch. And he still has trouble with telekinesis and fine motor control. He'd gained some of it back, out of necessity; but a lot of things are still out of his reach. Like writing.

He looks sadly at his missing hands, from which he still gets phantom sensations. He'll often find himself rubbing the air beyond his left stub with his right one, trying to scratch an itch on a none-existing hand…with another  
hand he doesn't have. It's very strange.

Julian makes the first attempt to write. His pen skitters across the paper and down the table to the ground. He reaches out with an arm and brings it back patiently. The next attempt sends the pen shooting straight up, then  
down. He gets out of the way just in time. His third attempt results in the letter _T. _

"Hi."

He turns around and sees Laura, standing behind him with her hands in her pockets.

"Hey yourself," he says.

Laura hesitates, then moves towards him and sits down on the other end of the table. She studies him shyly, not certain what to say.

"How's it going?" he asks her. It's been two days since they got drunk. They'd fallen out of a tree, he'd poured his heart out to her in an outburst of anger that alcohol seems to provoke in him, and then they'd made  
out. He doesn't remember a lot about what happened, but he's pleased that he managed to finally express his feelings to her, break down his barrier. He still feels slightly awkward around Laura, and they haven't done  
anything since, but he is starting to think they will, in a very definite sense.

She's passed him, a few times in the hall, and she sat near him for supper the other night; their eyes had met several times. And now…

He's working up his nerve to talk to her while sober.

"I am alright." Laura falls silent, flicks her eyes up at him, then down at the table. He admires the effect of her downturned eyelashes, which are very thick.

"That's good." He forgets to concentrate on the pen; it catapults down the table and imbeds itself in a pillar a few feet away. He flushes.

"Oops," he says lamely.

Laura gets up, moves closer to him and looks over his shoulder, at what he's reading. Her hair tickles his neck; he shivers slightly and looks up.

"Chemistry," he says, in answer to her unspoken question. He pats the bench next to him and smiles hopefully; she climbs over the bench, and he watches her skirt hike up an inch with the motion, revealing more  
thigh. Damn, he'd like to put the hand he doesn't have on the area.

Laura glances at him and sees his face has darkened. "What is wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing." Julian looks at his textbook for an excuse. "Do you know anything about orbitals? I'm having trouble with the numbering thing."

For about two hours, she helps him with his assignment; finally he slips the paper into the envelope with his mind. "Thanks," he says. "I owe you. How's your stuff coming? Can I help you with anything?" In the past,  
he's helped Laura and Cessily with English assignments. In the beginning, Laura was too technical to understand what novels were about; of late, she hasn't seemed to have difficulty.

"No." She pauses, then reaches out and puts her hand, over his forearm, on the table. "We need to…talk."

Julian looks at her hand, on his arm. It feels strong, smooth, muscled. Feminine.

"Yeah," he says.

She takes a breath, her expression strained. "You said that you…harbor affections towards me."

He nods slightly, risks a glance at her. She sees this from the corner of her eye, and looks also.

"Is this true?" she pauses. "You were intoxicated. I—"

"Yeah, Laura, I…I meant it." He swallows. "I'm interested. In you."

Laura doesn't say anything. For a moment, he feels afraid that _she_ was just drunk, too, and that it was all a misunderstanding. She gets up.

"Don't—" he says, thinking she is leaving. Then she turns around, and straddles his lap.

"Hi," she says, smiling.

He blinks, in surprise. Then he smiles back at her, and leans closer. They have both closed their eyes and are moving forwards with slightly puckered lips, when they hear a throat clearing.

Julian looks over her shoulder, and his eyes widen.

Laura stiffens. It's Wolverine. She doesn't want to see her mentor right now; she doesn't trust him. She's been having strange dreams, and every time she is near him, her skin crawls. There is something  
wrong with him. He smells faintly of death.

There is an awkward silence. Julian doesn't know what to do. He's mortally terrified of Wolverine, and here is, holding his adopted daughter in his lap, clearly about to put moves on her.

"See you two are hitting it off, eh?" Logan comments.

Julian says nothing. What can he possibly say to make himself look better?

"Must be something special about you, Keller. Can't say I see it." He pauses. "She's been mooning after you for a while," her mentor says. "Like a bitch in heat."

Julian raises his eyebrows.

Laura doesn't answer either. Julian is aware of a tension beyond the awkward situation; she doesn't want to talk to Logan period. He's been able to see that before the strange comment.

Logan studies them. Sizing them up, Julian thinks, in an abstract way. He feels Laura tensing; her stomach tensing against his.

"I have to go," Laura says. She gets off his lap; Julian scoops up his books and follows her. He's sure as hell not staying there with Logan watching them like this, and he wants to know why Laura is  
avoiding him. She stomps off down the trail towards the beach; he runs after her. "Wait up!"

Laura whirls around to face him, her hair and skirt flying. "That is _not_ Wolverine," she says.

"…" Julian stops. "Huh?"

"There is something wrong. He smells strange…and he has not been behaving normally. " Laura's eyes flash. "And he would not taunt me like that."

"That was totally off-base," Julian agrees. "Mr. Logan is a _teacher._" He pauses. "So what do you think is wrong with him? Booze? Drugs?"

"No," Laura says. "There is no definable chemical scent. He…smells like death. Like something rotting inside. It's faint; you probably can't detect it."

"Um," Julian says. "Like a …zombie?"

"I don't know," Laura says.

They fall silent. Julian rubs his neck with his arm. He's curious about something, but it's very disturbing, and not something he wants to call her. Something Logan said. Finally, in a small voice, he asks. "'Bitch in heat', huh?"

Laura's eyes widen. "That was not—" she begins to repeat.

Julian musters up the courage, to tell her he thinks she is attractive. "I've wanted to do you for a long time," he blurts.

Stunned silence. Laura stares at him, and suddenly what he has just said registers for him. He winces.

"Jeez…did I really say that?"

Laura gives a quick jerk of her head in response. Two jerks; yes.

"I'm an _asswipe_," he says in wonder. "I mean, god, really." He's said it before, to girls like the blond that ended up kidnapping him, but it wasn't something he had planned to say to his romantic interest. He would  
have _never_ said something like that to Sofia, for example.

"Do you want to?" Laura asks him.

"Want to what?" Julian asks.

"Do…that. Now."

Julian flushes, beet red. He looks like he has a sunburn.

"Uh—Laura—we're not ready for that," he stammers. His arms hang uselessly at his sides.

"Oh." Laura looks embarrassed.

"Maybe soon." He hesitates, then he leans forwards and presses his lips against hers, in what is effectively their first kiss. He doesn't really count when they were drunk, since he doesn't remember a lot of it. Although he'd like to.

It feels even better than he remembered; he puts an arm around her, to press her in.

"GET A ROOM!" Rockslide yells, from the beach.

"For fuck's sake," Julian says, rolling his eyes, as they quickly part and continue to head down the beach.

They simply walk for a while, talking about random things. Laura tells him about her concerns over Wolverine; he suggests that she tell Frost and Cyclops. He asks her how she's liking life on the island, and she responds  
that she does not believe the food system is secure; they are not self-sustaining, and therefore it could turn into a dangerous situation.

"I hate the sea creatures that Namor keeps catching," Julian complains. "Last week, all that was on the menu was Lochness Monster. And seaweed, _really?_"

"We could go elsewhere for food," Laura says.

Julian stops. "You're a genius. Want to go get some pizza? I know this little place downtown. I had a friend I used to visit in San Francisco. We always went there to eat."

"Okay." Laura touches his arm, near the end, and he stops, surprised.

"When will we be ready?" she asks.

Julian looks down. _As soon as I'm whole again. _"We'll know," he says.

"Okay." Laura wraps her hand around his arm, and they head back up to the main complex, to get permission to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Volnaib- Haha, thanks. 'Bitch in heat' means...like a female dog that's in heat. In breeding season. Just begging for it. Implying that the person is a slut and desperate for sexual opportunities. It's a degrading comment.**  
**Glad to hear about your idea! You'll have to link me over to it when you're done.

* * *

**3- Chapter 3.**

* * *

"No powers outside Utopia," Cyclops reminds them. "We're short on people right now, and we can't afford a scene to clean-up."

"Yes, sir," Julian says, knowing this comment is directed towards him. He's proud of his powers, and he shouldn't have to hide them. He'll get around this later.

"Laura, I'm trusting you'll keep an eye on him," Cyclops adds.

"Yes," she affirms. Julian closes his eyes and rolls them.

"Alright…have fun," Cyclops says.

They catch a ride with a boat heading to the mainland on a food run, and Julian keeps talking about his past as they stand at the bow of the ship, looking down at the water. He is excited at the thought of eating food that's not stale.

"Man, I miss being fourteen. I love my powers…but I was normal back then, and I could do anything I wanted." Julian frowns. "I also wasn't a cripple."

"You are not a cripple," Laura comments. "You have telekinesis."

"It's not the same," Julian says. "I liked my hands. I miss them. I…" he hesitates. "You make me miss them even more," he says. "I want to _feel_ you."

"Oh." Laura takes his arm in her hand, and runs the back of her other hand against it, in demonstration, the corners of her lips upturned.

"It's not the same," he says, but a moment later he brings his arm up to her cheek and slowly draws the inside of what used to be his forearm down it. The skin is soft and smooth.

Laura leans into his touch. "I like it when you touch me," she says.

"You're very touchable," he murmurs. He leans over to kiss her again.

"ICK! Get a ROOM!" Pixie yells, appearing on the deck with a _pop!_

"FUCK, do not do that," Julian says in shock. "And may I point out that we were _alone_ before you did that."

"There's the boat crew," Pixie says, her nose wrinkled. "I just came to see what's up, it's so boring back on the island, and you two are usually up to something cool, you know? So I thought I'd pop in and see if I could tag  
along and we could like go see a movie or something OHMYGOD didn't they just release that new movie with Ashton Kutcher? I _LOVE_—"

"Shut up, Pixie," Julian says. "You're not invited."

Pixie looks between the two of them. "OHMYGOD, you guys are on a _date!_ OHMYGOD! I—_**Sihal Novarum Chinoth**__!_" she pops out of existence again as suddenly as she came.

"Hope you were ready to go public," Julian mumbles.

Laura smiles, and he is less agitated.

…

"I haven't been here in _ages_," Julian says, taking in the interior of the pizza parlor. "Last time I was here was with Megan…about five years ago…I visited her here."

"Megan?" Laura asks.

"Yeah. She was this girl I knew. We were childhood friends, back when she and her mom lived in LA. Pretty cool…she kind of had the same style you did, a goth. She drew some insane pictures about dreams she had."

Laura freezes. "Megan Kinney?"

"Yeah, that was her name," Julian says. "Why, you know her?"

"She is my cousin," Laura says.

Julian blinks. Then it dawns on him. "Wait, you have a cousin? I thought you were a clone."

"My mother's sister's daughter," Laura says.

"Whoa, Debbie is your _aunt?_" Julian is blown away by this concept.

"Yes," Laura says.

"We should go see them!" Julian says. "They moved to—"

"They are not in San Francisco anymore, Julian," Laura says. "Kimura found us. I had to send them away, for their own safety."

"…oh," Julian says. He rubs his neck. "Well…that sucks."

Silence. Suddenly it is their turn to order pizza. Julian picks meat lover's, while Laura selects Hawaiian. They take their slices to a booth and sit down. He eyes the pizza hungrily, and his eyes glow green.

"Julian, no!" she says. "Mr. Summers specifically forbade you."

"I have to eat," he protests, his eyebrows drawn together.

"Here." Laura picks up the slice; Julian's face darkens. "No thank you. I can do it myself."

"You would risk being thrown out?" Laura asks. She is speaking from experience, of having watches the boy use his telekinesis in establishments and then get expelled. And right now is really not a good time to be a  
mutant. There is a group that patrols the streets right now.

A piece of floating pizza, that glows, is going to warrant a reaction. He knows this.

"…" Julian looks at his slice, frustrated. "I can't believe this is happening."

"If you change your mind, inform me." Laura continues eating; he watches her, his face a mix of emotions. He is angry at her for attempting to feed him, at the same time he knows she is right. Also, he is completely  
humiliated at the thought of being fed. He plays with the idea of scooping it up with his arms, then dismisses it.

"Fine," he says through gritted teeth.

Laura reaches over the table and picks up his slice again; she holds it up with her hand, while eating her own. It's not as bad as he thought it would be, since she is basically acting as a stand for his pizza.

"Thanks," he grunts afterwards, reluctantly.

"For?"

"Holding it."

"It was a basic function."

"Thanks anyway." Julian feels slightly stupid for making a big deal out of it. He'd assumed she was going to do something embarrassing, like a few girls back on Utopia had tried. Offering to feed him, like he was a  
baby. The thought of it all puts him in a bad mood, and he's silent, struggling with his pride over the fact that he's still hungry, until Laura asks him a question.

"Do you remember when Megan was abducted?" she asks.

Julian thinks. "Oh yeah. That was _way, way _back. Her mom's sister came, and there were pictures in the newspaper when they got her back. Something about a child molester, and him being found out by a girl guide selling  
cookies. He jumped from his eighth- story window and broke his neck." Julian starts. "_You?" _

Laura nods.

"Damn," he says. "I saw you, that day. I was in the crowd watching…I saw when Megan came out of the building." He pauses. "You were the girl that walked her out?"

"Yes," Laura says.

"That's crazy," he says. He thinks back, remembering Laura's mother.

"You look a lot like your mom," he says.

"Thank you," Laura says.

"But I thought you were Wolverine's clone?"

"I was made from a damaged blood sample," she says. "My mother used her own DNA to repair genes that had dilapidated beyond repair. This accounts for less than point one percent of my DNA."

"Oh." He pauses. "I like the changes she made." It seems like a weird comment, but it's true. He appreciates Laura's eyes, and the way she smiles, and her sleek black hair, all of which must come from her mother, because  
it certainly doesn't come from Wolverine.

Laura smiles, just so, and he reaches over to touch it; he falls a hand's length short and freezes, feeling like an idiot. She leans forward and meets his arm, closing her eyes. He watches, wondering how she can bring herself to  
get anywhere near the stumps, because if roles were reversed, he can't say that he would do the same. Laura doesn't seem to care, though.

"More?" he asks her, finally admitting to himself that he wants another slice.

She nods.

"Look, I'll pay for it, if you hold it for me again," he compromises. To make himself feel better about it. He closes his eyes to hide the green light while his wallet scoots stealthily under the table, to her hands.

"Okay." Laura removes a few bills from the fold. "What do you want?"

"Same thing."

She gets up and goes to pay; Julian thinks about his hands. He needs something to use in situations like this. He knows that Karma received a robotic prosthetic leg that functions about as well as her real one did. When he had  
been injured, Beast had ordered his surgery to wait, as he'd had an infection (and it was thought that he would lose his left arm and more of his right). When it had healed, he hadn't _wanted _prosthetic hands. With his telekinesis  
the loss was mostly emotional; and he wasn't feeling the greatest affection towards robotics, considering who had been responsible for the injury in the first place.

Laura returns with two plates, smiling at a little girl that says something to her as she passes. She sits down at the table.

"Want to go see a movie or something after?" Julian asks as they eat.

"Okay," Laura says.

…

In the theatre, as they move through the room to select a seat, Laura realizes she is having fun, an unusual sensation for her. She used to have fun with her cousin Megan, before she'd realized how serious her association  
could be. They'd gone to movies like this, and shared a bag of popcorn. She'd noted how different it was, to be able to concentrate on the film, and not worry about her own problems for a change.

"Here," she says suddenly.

Julian heads over to where she's standing, two rows up and almost in the middle. He looks at her questioningly.

"This place has optimal sound quality," she says.

Sitting down, they watch some of the previews as they flicker by. "That looks cool," Julian comments about one featuring a series of explosions. A small string of popcorn rise out of the bag in her lap; he eats them and grins at her.

Laura thinks of chastising him for using his powers, but as she is about to speak, he suddenly moves slightly, and puts his arm around her.

"That uncomfortable?" he asks her. He's thinking he's glad there's enough of his arms left to at least hold her. It could be even worse.

Laura leans towards him slightly, her head resting against his shoulder. She closes her eyes and listens to his heart, and decides she likes movies very, very much. She is not used to being able to touch him, to being a being worthy  
of his affection. His eyes are fixed on the screen, and she can thoroughly enjoy the contact without feeling judged. She doesn't see much of the film.

Afterward, they get up and go outside again. It is raining now, and Julian argues that he should be able to shield them. Laura wins by reminding him of the nightly Anti-mutant patrols in this city. They go to a corner store and purchase  
an umbrella, because Julian refuses to get wet. He makes Laura hold it.

At the dock, they realize they have missed the boat going back to the island, as it is now twelve thirty at night. Julian again starts to say that he could fly them back, but at that moment three suspicious-looking men carrying rifles walk  
past, eyeing them. They turn, and see a much larger group standing at the other end of the dock.

"Fine, we'll get a room," Julian grumbles, turning. "We could take them though."

Laura says nothing. She knows she could single-handedly slaughter every one of the men on the dock, but Cyclops has instructed her not to. He'd had a sit-down with her, a month ago, after she'd been in a conflict with this group, and  
had specifically requested she not tangle with them again. He'd very convincingly described to her the repercussions of such actions, about how it would make the immediate problem go away, only to return a hundred times worse.

They walk to a small motel, the flickering sign of which announces it's the 'Amazon Motel'. Julian makes a face. "Amazon motel…oh, I get it. Because of the giant roaches, right?" he asks her, then grins sheepishly. "It's all I can afford, sorry."

Laura smiles slightly. They go in, and Julian rents a room. It costs forty dollars for one room, which is all he has. They step aside to confer, as the clerk waits, looking bored.

"I have forty-three dollars. You got anything?" Julian asks.

Laura opens her mouth to reply that she has over two hundred thousand dollars, but suddenly she stops, thinking. If she says no, they will be forced to share a room, and she is eager to spend as much time with him as possible,  
now. The thought of what he'd said before lingers. _I've wanted to do you for a while. _Laura considers this a compliment, as she prefers comments that are straight and to the point.

The more time they spend together, the sooner he will consider them 'ready'.

"No," she says.

"Alright then. You okay sharing?" He pauses. "I can sleep in the tub. Or on the floor, or something." He returns to the clerk, while Laura digests this.

They are given a key and directed down a long, cheaply constructed hallway, their footsteps echoing on the hollow floor, the thin worn carpet almost crunching beneath their feet. The paper-thin walls seem delicate, and are  
covered in a ghastly striped wallpaper that is almost hypnotizing.

They reach room 358, and Laura unlocks it. Inside is a dirty looking bed and some shabby furniture, no TV. "Wow, they don't even try to lie," Julian says.

Laura looks at him questioningly.

"That most people coming here are guys with a two-dollar whore," he says.

She doesn't comment. She could point out that technically they fit this stereotype, but she feels ashamed of that part of her past. She can't clearly define it, but she's ashamed she allowed herself to be used by someone so _unworthy _  
as Zebra Daddy, and the customers she was assigned to. Somehow, she doubts that Julian would look kindly on this fact, having heard him make degrading comments about prostitutes before.

Julian goes to the bathroom and reemerges with towels, which he spreads over the bed surface, then lies down. She uses the facilities next. When she is finished, Julian makes a comment to her about how dirty the place is, grinning to himself.

Laura remembers, how this kind of place almost used to be her habitat, and does not answer.

"You're kind of quiet," he says.

She lowers her eyes. "I am tired," she says.

"Lie down." He pats the bed beside him with his arm. "I'll move off in a bit."

Slowly she approaches the bed and climbs on. The frame creaks, and Julian laughs. "Imagine if this thing collapsed during," he says.

Laura remains silent. The more he talks about prostitutes, the more uneasy she becomes. She lies down, body straight, hands clasped on her stomach, and looks at the ceiling. Julian moves to his side, and studies her,  
his face leaning against the towel-covered pillow.

"You're pretty," he says, reaching out with his arm. He stops, realizing his hand is not there to stroke her hair like he'd intended. He jerks it back and looks away, his cheeks burning. He knows Laura does not seem to care, but he feels stupid.

"Thank you," Laura says, her eyelids half-shut. She is thinking about what he has said, and what he _would_ say if he learned of her past. Would he understand her reasons? That she had needed someone to give her  
orders, to control her and hurt her, because it was all she had known?

Of course he would not. He would renew his attacks on his person. He wouldn't let her touch him anymore; he'd call her dirty, like he calls this hotel. Laura feels this instinctively . She closes her eyes, her brows drawn together  
as she wishes things had been different. That she hadn't ever let Zebra Daddy control her. She hadn't understood, then, the true meaning of what she had done.

Julian is meanwhile thinking about his hands, and how stupid he _was_. He'd known Laura for almost half a year before he'd lost his hands; that was more than enough time for him to man up and admit he had feelings for  
her. He knows he was scared, but to him, now, that's not a good enough excuse. She's quiet, and stiff beside him. She must think he's retarded, to try touching her with his stub, and expect her to enjoy it. She's just too  
reluctant to say anything. No wonder she went quiet when they entered the hotel.

His face darkens. If he wasn't a cripple, they would have already taken things further. He remembers her wide-eyed look when she'd asked him, near the beach, if he wanted to 'do that'. Because she certainly didn't.

Finally he sits up, swings his legs over the edge of the bed and gets to his feet.

"Well, goodnight," he says, taking a towel and a pillow from the bed and arranging them on the floor, then lying down on his back. He flicks off the light switch mentally; a little while later he falls into a fitful sleep.

**…**

Julian wakes up a few hours later. It is the dead of the night, and almost pitch black, save for dim light filtering in through the window. He's not sure what has woken him, until he feels Laura rolling over on the  
bed. She is making whimpering noises.

"Laura?" he asks, sitting up partially and running energy through his arm so he can see better. She's still asleep, but her face is contorted, like she's in pain. He reaches up to her; suddenly she swings out with her hand, claws  
ejecting. They come within a fraction of an inch of his arm; if he had a hand, it would have been severed. Now Laura wakes. Her eyes roll side to side as she takes in her surroundings, then her eyes fall on him.

"Did I—" she looks over the edge of the bed, watching him fearfully. Examining him for wounds

"You just about took my hand off," Julian says.

Laura smiles, mostly from relief. He frowns, noticing her forehead is shining.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

She lies flat again. "Dream."

"Must have been a bad one," he comments. He hesitates, hugs his knees. "I dream about the Sentinels, sometimes."

All this talk about his injury is reminding him of his earlier musings. He watches her, wondering if he had been correct. She watches him back, studying him; even though they were alone earlier, both realize now that no one else is here.

Laura reaches out and runs her fingertips over his cheek and jaw. He closes his eyes and leans into her palm, noting that it is soft and dry. And muscular; her hands are gentle, yet strong. Cushioned. His mind wanders, and he thinks  
about what they would feel like on other parts of his body.

After a moment she gets off the bed and joins him on the floor. Kneeling beside him, she tilts her head and kisses him, something she is becoming bolder and bolder about. Like she has been wanting to do it for a long time, which is  
amazing, considering what a jerk he's been to her in the past. He rolls over slightly, pinning her against the towel-covered pillow and exploring the rest of her face with his lips, planting kisses everywhere. She smiles, and he pays  
attention to the dimples that form, licking them. Laura squirms slightly, surprised.

He moves down to her neck, and her throat, in the back of his mind wondering how far he wants to take this. Part of him is adamant that they will _not, _that he will _never, _as long as he is still crippled. Another part of him knows they _will,_  
but doesn't want it to be in this horrible place.

The last part doesn't give two shits, because he doesn't want it never, he doesn't want it later, he wants it _now._ The more they make out, the more fired up he gets, and the more their pace increases. Laura's becoming almost aggressive;  
he feels her nip his lip once, and he's a little shocked, then he realizes he's ready to burst over it. He rolls them over and pulls her on top of him; Laura wraps her arms around his neck and flexes everywhere, her back arching. She's making  
small noises now, encouraging. It's like making out with some sort of cat. Suddenly she breaks away, and watching him with eyes he can barely see in the dim light, she starts to undo the laces on her top.

Julian suddenly realizes he should be doing that, and he struggles. He clears his throat.

"Look…" he says. "I can't go there with you."

She stops and there is hurt in her expression. Laura thinks, maybe he has heard of her past already. It is entirely possible that Emma Frost told him.

They sit for a few moments in silence.

"Why?" Laura asks, finally.

"Because I feel stupid," Julian says, closing his eyes. "I mean…it's not really anything when I can't touch you." He raises an arm. "Do you really want this _near_ you? I don't, and they're mine. I've seen them without bandages…they're really disgusting."

Laura's expression doesn't change. "I have seen them."

"When?" he asks.

"I was there when you were injured," Laura says. "Behind you."

Julian suddenly recalls the moment, him concentrating on sending all his energy towards the robot directly ahead of himself, and not seeing the one to the side until it had powered up. It had all happened so fast, and he had been conscious  
that even if he had had time to dodge, it would have hit her squarely. He knew her healing factor couldn't handle that. The pain had been incredible; he'd fallen to the ground and slipped away to somewhere else for a while, surrounded in  
a pool of his own blood.

"Yeah, but I mean after," Julian says. "I see them every time I have to change the bandages."

"I have seen them," Laura repeats.

"When?"

"After Beast operated on you," Laura says.

"You were there?"

"Of course." If it were anyone but Laura, he would almost think he has offended her by thinking otherwise.

He pauses. His other friends hadn't visited him for a while, as they were unable to look at him. "I still can't. I can't do this while they're attached to me."

Laura takes the ends of what is left of his arms in her hands. "I do not know what you are talking about," she says, looking him in the eye. "They are your arms. I have always liked them, because they are yours."

He stares at her. "Oh," he says, not sure what else there is to say.

"I want this." Laura gives him a very direct look. "I am ready. I have been ready for a long time. I do not know what you are waiting for, because nothing will happen unless we make it happen."

Julian breathes through his mouth, then nods slightly. "Okay," he says hoarsely. She's right.

Laura lets go of his arms to reach behind herself again, sweeping her hair to the side with a toss of her head and reaching behind herself again as he watches, the light flicking on behind her.

**…**

Afterwards, Julian lays on his back, with Laura still sprawled on top, her cheek pressed into his neck and her hair cascading over her shoulder. She seems satisfied, and Julian's trying to recollect his brain cells. He'd never had  
suspected she could be so bold, so uninhibited. Laura, who seems too shy to speak most of the time. And now he's lying here, feeling like she sucked his brains out through his dick.

He tilts his head slightly and examines her fist, still pressed against the floor. He'd heard a rippingsound during a moment that Laura had gotten especially aggressive; it had come from her claws piercing the carpet. Her foot claws  
had come out during another moment, in-between his toes, and he had felt momentary panic, as he if he got hurt, she probably wouldn't stop and let him take care of it. The metal had been slightly warm, from her body.

Laura looks up now and blows hair out of her face. She looks thoroughly tousled. "Good?" she asks.

"Uh," he says.

She smiles and props herself on her elbows, watching him. "Better than the others?" she asks, fishing for a compliment. She'd been told, in the past, that she was the best prostitute in the business. The best at what she did. It had  
meant nothing to her before; that was a source of shame for her now. But in this instance, she feels a need to be the best, and logically it is because sex is a way to bind a partner, and the better she is at it, the more unlikely she  
is to leave. And go elsewhere.

Julian clears his throat. He could lie, that's what he would normally do. If it were anyone else. But for some reason, he never _wants_ to lie to her. He reached up and pressed the inside of his wrist against her cheek.

"There haven't _been_ others," he says. "But if there were….I don't think I'd remember them after you." He strokes her cheek lightly.

She blinks, and for a moment he thinks her eyes look wetter. Laura, crying? Impossible. She is made out of stone, out of metal. She can't cry. Then he's being pressed back into the pillow, and she's tilting her head and kissing  
him again, and this time it's a lot more tender and explorative.

When they fall asleep again, her face is burrowing into his shoulder, and he feels different. Maybe because a big fantasy has become reality tonight; both sex in general, and sex with Laura, and they are better than he dreamed  
possible. Or maybe it's because he's seen a side of her that no one else has seen, and he wants to see more of it. Not just the aggressiveness, but the tender side. He didn't think she had a heart to touch, and suddenly he's become  
aware that Laura's not what he's made her out to be. She's not a monster.

He drifts off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks for reviews! This is definitley turning out to be interesting. ^^

* * *

**4- Chapter 4.  


* * *

**

"Well, well," Wolverine says, at the dock of Utopia when the pair gets off the boat.

Laura comes to a halt in front of her mentor. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you, kid," Logan says gruffly, a little more like his normal self. "In the fighting studio? Ten minutes." He pauses. "It'll give you time to take a shower, kid. You _reek._" He glances up at Julian,  
who flushes. He can smell what they've been up to.

They head into Utopia's main base. Laura's face is down turned. Julian reaches for her hand with one he doesn't have; he looks away, his features twisting into a scowl. They reach the dorms, where the hallway  
splits in two; they pause for a moment.

"It was…" Julian says.

"Yes," Laura says intently. They smile, at the same moment, then she leans over and presses a kiss on his mouth; a moment later they part ways, each hesitant to admit the day is over, and now they are going  
back to every day life, in which they live alone, and see each other every couple of days, in stolen moments.

Julian goes back to his room—his alone, since his roommate had left after he'd lost his hands and developed a nasty temper. He lies down on the bed and closes his eyes, reliving choice moments as he drifts off to  
sleep again (having had little sleep the night previous).

Laura goes to the quarters she shares with Sooraya and showers quickly, then dresses and heads for the fighting studio. Opening the door reveals darkness; for some reason her eyes do not pierce the dark like  
they normally do. Her hand finds the light switch on the wall; for a few moments nothing happens. Then a light slowly spreads from the floor, illuminating the room; her breath catches in her chest. In the center  
sits the boy she was just with, sprawled on a chair, covered in cuts and blood. His eyes are rolled back in his head.

"NO!" Laura shouts, beside herself. The room changes, fills with bodies, some in various stages of decay. The other students lie near her feet. Sooraya. Nori. Victor. Megan. The Cuckoos. All bearing bloody wounds,  
mostly in the abdominal regions, but some around their throats and faces. Further in are people that seem vaguely familiar. In the corner, a shape that is horribly so. Her mother.

Laura feels weak. All the people she has killed…and will kill. She grips the door frame.

"Why are you doing this?" she asks the room, her eyebrows drawn together.

"To show you your true nature." Wolverine's beside her now, giving her that easy smile he has, the one that normally relaxes Laura and tells her everything is all right.

Laura looks at the bodies again. Everything is not alright _now._

"You're nothing inside, Laura," Wolverine says, still smiling. "Empty. You're like this room: a black pit of nothingness that light won't penetrate."

"That is not true," Laura says.

"You have no soul," Wolverine continues.

She doesn't answer this, but her hand forms into a fist. She looks at the students; she moves over to her mother, in the corner, and kneels. With two fingers, she brushes frost off her cheek. Tears well up in her eyes.  
Sarah Kinney's eyes do not move, but remained fixed in space and time, on something she cannot see. She knows what she sees is death, and now, seeing her face again, Laura realizes she is smiling.

Sarah Kinney could not live with herself. She had _wanted_ to die.

"She could live again," Wolverine hisses in her ear, although he is standing a few feet away. "You could undo what you've done. Make things right. All you have to do…is make a deal with me."

"No." Laura stands, still looking at her mother. "You are not Wolverine."

"Clever little clone," Logan says. "What I offer…is unique. A place where you belong. Where you will be honored for your skill and prowess, instead of abhorred. Devil's work."

Laura takes a breath, turns, wrinkles her nose as the scent registers. Rot. "You are something putrid and vile, and I want nothing to do with you."

"A love supreme," Wolverine hisses in her ear again, watching her from where he is standing still, his lips unmoving. "I know you long for the boy's heart. I can give it to you…so you don't have to tear it out of his  
chest, like you eventually will. _Killer._"

She stiffens. "No. I will earn it. If I don't, then I don't deserve it."

Wolverine tilts his head. "Such a shame. Such a waste. There is nothing _special_ about the boy. He is hardly worth the breath he takes. Yet you—the immaculate killer—have decided that you owe _him_ such respect, beyond  
taking what you want. Why?"

Laura pauses. "I can smell lies. And Julian…he never lies to me. So why should I lie to him?"

Wolverine considers her.

"Very well, you don't want that. What _will_ you bargain for, little clone?"

Laura watches her mentor. "Logan," she says. "I will do your devil's work, for Logan's life." She pauses. "If I could kill you, I would, so you could not continue desecrating what is left of him."

Wolverine smiles. "Very well."

He moves closer and touches Laura's head. She is conscious of falling down before the room fades away.

**…**

She wakes up on a dusty plane, rich with iron. Every breath she takes is metallic; she opens her eyes and sees red. Like she has inhaled trigger scent. It's actually the dusty ground and the cloudy sky that are causing  
this color; far above her is a black spot—a dark moon.

There are bones around her, large bones, as of animals. Rib cages. An ominous sign, telling her that other things have fought here before—and failed. She ejects her claws, instinct telling her to be battle ready at any given moment.

It is hot. She wipes perspiration from her forehead.

Laura begins to walk, her boots crunching on the ground. A cloud of dust rises behind her and is whisked away by a dull wind; this wind, in turn, blows more sand into her face. She ignores it, squinting, and tries to peer farther  
into the distance, using the focusing muscles in her eye to extend her range of vision.

There; a line of black, jagged peaks, far off in the distance, but there. _Mountains._ Since mountains are often cooler, and affect the rain cycles, food and more importantly water are more probably located there than elsewhere in  
this barren-looking world. Laura's hands ball into fists.

This place reminds her of Limbo, the place she and several other students had been taken to some time ago. Belasco had abducted them. She knows this is not that place; the color of the sky is different, and Limbo had not been so  
hot. It does help her to conclude, however, that this is a 'Hell dimension'.

So what is her objective? She understands, vaguely, that the _thing_ had wanted her to kill something, or someone. In exchange for Logan. What could it be that it could not kill itself? Plenty of things, but most likely quite a  
challenge. Laura knows it would not have agreed to exchange the comfortable, nearly immortal body it's got itself in exchange for a simple kill.

She wipes her forehead again. She is used to hot environments, as her cell at the facility had basically been an incubator, but the heat here is very uncomfortable, edging on unbearable. She thinks about removing some of her  
clothing, but resists, as she is not about to leave her gear behind—and she certainly can't carry it.

Laura thinks about her revelation: Sarah Kinney had wanted to die. This suddenly changes a lot. For one thing, Laura feels oddly that her burden has lessened. Less like Sarah would have blamed her. She finds it easier to see  
that it _was_ the trigger scent. With it comes a sensation of closure, as she has killed the one responsible, had killed him a long time ago.

She thinks about her life, the life she is trying to build, and her deep-down fear that she has no soul. Nothing had seemed more untrue, when the _thing_ inside Logan had been hissing at her. She knew _it_ has no soul, no heart; it is a  
pathetic creature that depends on others to live. And she could not be less like it. Laura knows that while she is different from the other children, she is not a soul less creature. If one of her friends or the X-men fell to her claws,  
she knows it would affect her deeply. The fear that had frozen her chest in that room made it painstakingly clear to her.

Laura also realizes that she needs to learn this respect towards other life if she is ever truly to fit in. She needs someone to explain to her, to guide her, and undo the training the facility had wrought like iron into her spine, her  
reflexes. She needs to break free of the trigger scent conditioning.

_Kimura. _She needs to kill Kimura. Laura gazes at the mountains ahead through squinted eyes. If she is no longer a threat…then there will no longer be the very-real possibility of the psychotic woman showing up in Utopia and  
punishing her friends for knowing Laura. That part of the past will die with her, and she will no longer be X-23; she will begin a new chapter. She is already trying to begin, but she is held back by this connection.

Laura presses on.

**…**

Julian awakes, later that evening, with a start. He reaches sleepily around the girl next to him—and finds she is not there. His eyes snap open and focus on the low metal ceiling above his bed; he sits up and looks around. In this  
moment, his room seems oddly unfamiliar to him.

But it _is _indeed his, and no one else is there. He rubs the end of his arm against his face and gets out of the bed, heads towards the bathroom. After doing his business, and moving to leave the washroom, he catches sight of his  
face in the mirror. He looks tired, drawn, and lonely. He hesitates, straightens out his clothes and riffles through his hair until it looks neat again, then switches off the light with his mind, and heads for his door, debating.

He heads for the lab, his head hung. Is he really going to do this? Yes, he's tired of reaching for things and missing them. He doesn't like being reminded constantly of what happened. Perhaps he'll become used to them, after a while.

The door opens upon his entry, and Beast looks up.

"Hi, Dr. McCoy," Julian says.

"Mr. Keller! It's been a while." Beast grins, showing his canines.

"Probably a good thing," Julian says glumly. He hesitates, and draws his eyebrows together. "Can you give me hands?"

Beast raises his eyebrows. "You have changed your mind?"

He'd said some pretty nasty things to the doctor when he had initially suggested prosthetics. They had been personal, and completely unbased, and now Julian feels like an asshole. He looks down.

"I'm sorry. I was…in a bad place."

"That's quite alright," Beast says, surprising him. "I might have done the same. Also, what's past is past. Come here, let's have a look under the bandages."

Julian moves closer, his insides crawling. He doesn't want to see them. Beast grabs a pair of scissors, then indicates for him to lie his arms on the metal table; the wrappings are cut away, leaving the stumps, still raw and  
shiny-looking. Lumpy and uneven. The right one is vaguely star-shaped, with lobes that protrude; the left one is more conical. He allows the doctor to examine them for a while.

"We may be able to do that for you, Julian," Beast says finally. "They appear to have healed. However, they are rather uneven. I may have to re-operate, so they will better fit a receptacle. I will have Jeffries design a set of  
hands for you." He smiles at the boy, who smiles back reluctantly. "Come back in, say, a week…we should be able to proceed, either way."

He helps Julian to re-apply bandages, then the boy heads outside again, putting his arms in his sweater pockets. He heads towards the common room; several of his friends are sitting on the sofas, talking and laughing.

The sound abruptly dies as they notice him.

"Uh, hey!" Santo says. He eyes his friend, and his gaze inevitably goes to Julian's bulging front pocket. He can never stop staring at the stumps, which is one of the reasons he has not been Julian's 'best friend' for a while, now.

"Hey." Julian sits down on the edge of the couch.

The group is silent for a few minutes. Silent, like they get now when ever he's present. He realizes that this must be how Laura's always felt. He used to be one of the ones that fell silent _first. _He feels bad.

"How's life?" Loa asks him.

"Can't complain," Julian says. "How about you?"

"Oh, you know," she answers.

Nori, on the couch opposite him, is looking pointedly at the floor. It's clear she doesn't want him to be here, but at least it's for a different reason than his handless condition.

"So what were you guys talking about?" he asks. Maybe if he takes the attention off himself for a few minutes. He's tried before; occasionally it works.

"Er—" Santo looks at Surge.

"Your girlfriend," she says sourly.

Julian stiffens. "What about her?"

There is a pause.

"I just can't _believe _you'd sink to that level, Keller," Nori says. "I mean, for god's sakes, she was a _hooker._ I overheard Logan telling Rogue that this morning. Not only is she insane and psychopathic…and dangerous…but she's _dirty!_"

"Shut up!" Julian snaps.

"It's true, man," Santo says. "So, do you pay her or—"

"Santo!" Loa rebukes. Julian blinks, and feels color rising to his face, along with profanities.

"I'm just curious!" Santo says, holding up his hands. "Maybe she pays him—"

Nori grins.

"Okay," Julian says, getting up. "You guys are _unbelievable_ jerks."

"Hey now!" Santo says. "You're the one supporting X's behavior. We're trying to train her like a dog…you know, reinforce the training that _killing people is bad._"

"Personally, I think it's hopeless," Nori says.

Loa makes a face. "You guys are being _really _mean. He—"

"It's alright, I'm going," Julian says. He heads for the door and exits, steam practically coming from his ears. He needs to walk, he needs to…

_She's dirty!_

Julian's neck prickles as he recalls that Laura had seemed agitated in the hotel, when he'd been cracking jokes. About prostitutes. He pales slightly. And she'd seemed quite knowledgeable when they had…she had done  
things to him that he'd never thought could feel good—but did, amazingly so. The kind of things that come with _experience. _

He needs to find her. He heads to the dorms and finds her door. He's never actually visited her, but he considered it a few times, going as far as to stand down the hallway from it, watching and fighting his urge to knock.

Now he thumps on the door, with his arm. "Laura?" he calls. Nothing. He glances at the hallway clock; it's seven in the evening. She is unlikely to be asleep. He suddenly remembers that she was going to see Wolverine in  
the fighting studio, and heads there, thinking that if she is not still present, the older man will probably have an idea of where she has gone. He usually practices at this time.

Julian heads over, thinking what he will say to her.

Reaching the studio, he opens the door. "Mr. Logan, I—" he begins, but falls short. Wolverine is _not_ in the room.

But Laura is. She's lying sprawled on the floor, her hair fanned around her, a lump on her forehead, blood rolling down slowly from her nose.

"Oh my god," Julian says, running towards her and crouching down. He places the inner forearm of his stump against her cheek; it is cool and she is unresponsive. He gathers her up, fearfully noting that she seems stiff, then  
flies straight to the lab to find Beast, his heart pounding.

**…**

"This is bizarre," Beast says again, as he hooks the machinery up. He has performed CPR, and used a defibrillator to make Laura's heart beat again.

"How can her healing just _quit?_" Julian asks. He's standing by the doorway as Beast works to set Laura up on emergency life support.

"I don't know." Beast reaches for a ventilation mask, and stretches it over Laura's still face. "She appears to have suffered head trauma…but after becoming familiar with her healing factor, I _highly _doubt a mere bump could cause  
her to…become like this." He unfastens Laura's top, and begins to apply electrodes to her upper chest., to pump her heart. Julian leans on the door frame, feeling slightly ill.

"Get Logan," Beast says.

Julian gives her a last reluctant glance, then does as the older X-man says. He searches the grounds, the verandas, the common rooms, and is about to give up when he runs into Rogue and she informs him he's in the Weight Room.

"Why, sugah?" she asks, as he moves to leave.

"Laura," he says. "Laura's hurt."

Rogue frowns. "But—she has a healin' factor like Logan—"

"It's not working." Julian runs down the hallway, almost passing the Weight Room; then peers in. "Mr. Logan—Beast needs you. It's Laura."

The older man lowers the weight he's lifting with a grunt, and sits up. Julian notices something; he doesn't seem concerned.

"Tell him I'll be right there," he says calmly. Julian hesitates. "Sir…she's your daughter, isn't she?"

"She's my clone," Wolverine answers. "I don't have a daughter."

Julian blinks. This is a very cold thing for Laura's mentor and father figure to say; and he remembers what she'd said. _That is not Wolverine._

"Okay." He runs back towards the Infirmary, and shoves the door out of his way with his mind. He sees that Beast is done hooking her up; he approaches her bed and stands beside it, disbelieving. He reaches out and presses  
the inside of his forearm to her forehead. It's so unreal. Just earlier, she had been so alive. They had even…

He blinks, hard, then smooths hair out of her face, leans down and kisses her cheek, her mouth blocked by the respirator.

After a while, he pulls up a chair from the corner of the room and sits down, wishing he could hold her hand. He ends up moving her fingers mentally so they cup the end of his arm.

Then, he waits.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Sorry for wait on publishing chapters, I had a period filled with finals, moving, and flying to Iowa (where I am currently, with my fiance) + the holidays. Will still be a bit spacey with updates but I haven't forgotten :-)

* * *

**5- Chapter 5.  


* * *

**

"She's not there," Emma says, mystified.

She is standing by Laura's bedside. Julian, Wolverine and Beast are also in the room, watching as she tries to reach Laura psychically.

Emma opens her eyes. "Laura's not in her body. This is no ordinary coma."

"What do you mean?" Julian demands.

"Normally, a person in this state will simply be caught in a never-ending dream. In that case, I can often help them to exit, to 'see the light at the end of the tunnel', if you will. But Laura…" she rubs her  
temple. "She's just not _there. _There is no dream…no memories…no personality lying dormant. It's completely empty. There's no electrical signals."

"Brain dead," Beast says.

Julian looks at Laura's pale, relaxed face. "She can't be."

Emma glances at him sharply. "Julian, sometimes—"

"_**NO!**_" he shouts. "You can't just give _**UP**_ on her! Do you have any _**IDEA **_of what she's given up for _**YOU?**_" He's furious. "She let herself be a weapon again so she could protect you, all of you! And you pay her back by—"

"Julian, calm down—" Emma says.

Logan smirks slightly. "Yeah, kid, calm down."

This is too much for Julian; he bowls Logan over with a thought, into a metal tray full of instruments, which crashes loudly to the ground along with the older man.

"_**GRRRRR!**_" Logan snarls. He lunges up at the boy from a sitting position; Julian shields himself and raises a metal tray behind the man.

_**"ENOUGH!" **_Emma shouts, doing something painful to both of their minds. Julian covers his ears with his arms and grits his teeth. "That's not Wolverine!" he snaps.

"Kid's lost it," Logan says, eyeing Julian.

Emma looks at Julian coldly. "You are under detention. Go _straight to your room _and wait for me there. _NOW._"

"Dr. McCoy—please! You can smell it, right?" Julian asks Beast desperately, remembering Laura's comments. "She said he was like a zombie or something! I've seen him acting really weird—"

Beast looks at the boy. "He's had too much stress," he says sadly. "Emma…perhaps you'd better…"

Julian sees he will get no help here; he throws his arms up in the air and stomps out, fuming. He needs to help Laura. He _knows_ that Wolverine is behind this. He was the one in the fighting studio with her  
last. So what has he done? Has he made Laura a zombie too? Julian shudders. That doesn't make sense though; then she would still have _some_ brain activity, although minimal. She doesn't.

"Hey Julian!"

He turns; it's Pixie, her wings fluttering and a smile on her face. "Guess what? I just talked to Cyclops about food runs and how much we want pizza and pop and normal healthy foods like that and—" she  
pauses suddenly, seeing his scowl. "You okay? You look kinda—"

"Laura's not okay," he says.

Pixie's eyes open wide. "OHMYGOD! Wait, what? Doesn't she _heal?_"

"It's not working. Megan…I need your help." Julian has an idea.

**…**

"So the plan is, Pixie teleports us to wherever Laura's gone, and we find her and bring her back," Julian says. He and several other children are standing in a circle in the picnic area, dressed in combat  
gear. The small group consists of Pixie, Dust, Loa, Anole, and Mercury, all of which were horrified to hear of what has happened to Laura.

"Wait, so zombie Wolverine sent her to zombieland?" Loa asks.

"Something like that," Julian says. "Be prepared…this could be nasty. And it's really important we remember to protect Pixie…she's our only way out."

The group trades uneasy glances.

"I'm going. I don't _care_ about zombies…this is _Laura,_" Cessily says fiercely. "She'd do it for any one of us."

"Yes." Sooraya says.

Julian glances at the others; no one seems to want to leave. "Alright…Pixie?"

"Wait," calls a voice. Towards them walk the Cuckoos, their eyes glowing blueish white in the dark of the evening. They are also outfitted in combat gear. "We can help you. If we help Pixie to focus on  
looking for Laura…" Celeste begins. "…then you are more likely to be successful." Mindee finishes.

"Alright," Julian says. "Ready?"

Everyone nods. "Pixie?" he says again. The Cuckoos move to her and put their hands on her shoulder. "Gggo for it," they say as one. Pixie swallows, flicks her wings.

"_**Sihal Novarum Chinoth!**_" she shouts.

**…**

Laura continues her trek across the vast desert. The mountains appear no closer; the heat seems to be rising. Her jacket and top are undone; she fans herself every now and then, steaming slightly. She  
needs to get to water, and soon, because she is quickly perspiring everything she has away. Even she isn't immune to death by dehydration.

About an hour later, she sees a creature appear on the horizon. It is large, and Laura feels trepidation. Is this what she is here to fight?

Steadily she approaches it, but for the longest time, it grows no larger. Then all of a sudden she has reached it, and it is perhaps the most distorted creature she has ever seen. It has more than one  
mouth-many more. It is _covered_ in mouths, many grinning and talking at once, some hissing, some spitting. There is one central mouth, and it has far too many teeth. It also has four legs, and strong, clawed arms.

No eyes.

"LLLLLaura," it hisses. "We are the truth-sayer."

She is silent.

"Is there something you would know?" It asks. "We can tell you anything. For a price."

Laura pauses. There are many things she wants to ask. "What is the price?"

All the mouths smile. "A token."

She considers. What does she have to give? For Wolverine's life? She reaches up to around her neck and undoes her choker, and hands it to the creature. "What do I do to save Logan?" she asks.

The creature considers the payment, then its hand tosses it into a mouth, and it swallows, grinning.

"The one with many names," the creature hisses. "Logan has made a deal with Herself, and to save him, you must take his place in Her cage."

Laura tilts her head. "Where?"

"That is another question," the creature says. Laura strips off her jacket and hands it to the creature, then reties her top.

"Mountaiiins," the creature hisses. "The Citadel at the Heart of the Fire."

Laura prepares to ask another question, then remembers the payment. She has nothing left; only her clothes, and her boots. She closes her eyes, then kneels and unzips a boot, hands it to the  
creature. In its mouth it goes, the boot Megan had given her. She blinks hard. "How do I kill Her?"

"You cannot," the Truthsayer says. "You have _tried, _little clone. And now…you have purchased three questions, which is all I can answer."

"Wait," Laura says, but it has already faded out of existence. She stands for a moment, her foot burning in the sand; then she looks at the mountains. _You have _tried, _little clone…_

"And I will try again," Laura says to no one.

She presses on.

**…**

_**POOF!**_

The children pop into existence, gasping, as they always do during Pixie's teleports. The Cuckoos, still holding her by the shoulder, let out a shrill cry simultaneously, clutching their temples.

Julian stares at them. "What—" he takes in the dark red sky, the dust at his feet. "We're not in _Limbo _again, are we?"

"No," Cessily says. "This isn't Limbo. The color's off."

"EWWW look at the bones!" Pixie shrieks, pointing at a large ribcage beside her.

Julian looks around, not paying much attention to the girls' grossed-out reactions. He wants to find Laura, if she's in this place, because it _really _doesn't look like she should be here, much less alone.

"Girls?" he asks, of the Cuckoos.

"We can't see _anything,_" Celeste moans. "It's blindingly painful…there's so much torment here…"

He blinks.

"Alright, guess we do this the old fashioned way and spread out," he says. "Pixie…you fly that way. I'll take this direction…Dust, you go there…" he gestures with his arm. "And the rest of you…go  
that way. If anyone finds Laura, contact the Cuckoos, and we'll meet up. Got it?"

"Aye aye, captain," Cessily says. She smiles. "You know, I miss having you boss me around. I don't like Surge being our leader so much."

"Yeah, well." Julian lifts himself into the air. "Get to it, people."

He's gone, a momentary green twinkle in the red sky.


	6. Chapter 6

**6- Chapter 6.  


* * *

**

Laura finally falls to her knees, her bared foot smoking in the sand and dust, which has grown unbearably hot. She's covered in a sheen of perspiration; as she hangs her head, sweat rolls  
down her nose, and tears dot her eyelashes. She licks her cracked lips, smelling her own burning flesh. Her elbows are starting to hurt from their contact with the sand, and her hair, falling  
over her shoulders, smolders where it touches.

She is losing, and she hasn't even confronted 'Herself' yet. She has failed. Laura's eyes roll up in her head as she begins to give in.

**…**

_FWOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH _she hears in the distance. Laura opens one eye; her vision is blurry, unfocused. The side of her body is stinging, where she presses into the dusty, granular surface. Her  
head throbs, and she feels like she's spinning, even though she is entirely still. She closes her eye again.

_**VRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…**_the noise grows closer, and Laura opens her eye again, both of them this time, and raises her head, ever so slightly. She knows that sound. Her doubled vision  
takes in a green dot, growing larger, sweeping along the sand at a very fast rate. Within a few moments, it has reached her and swept by; it loops around and then Julian lands beside her.

"…" she tries to speak, but her mouth is too dry. He gathers her up in his arms, saying something out loud; she lays her head against his neck and closes her eyes again. He holds her head  
against him with his arms, presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, and then they are off; she is vaguely conscious of a roar around them, as he covers the distance that has taken her countless  
hours to walk, within minutes.

"Crap, we don't have water…we don't have Elixir…" he mumbles, above her head, as they fly. "Just hang in there…we're taking you back with us. We have Pixie."

Laura cracks an eye open. "N-no."

He tilts his head down to eye her; she feels his neck muscles move against her forehead. "There's no question. You're _coming with us, _understand?"

"Save…W-wolverine," she says.

"He's here?"

"Y-yes," Laura mumbles.

Julian's features tighten. He doesn't want to consider Logan, after what he'd done. But Laura does…and that matters. He's approaching the others; within a moment they have reconvened  
with Cessily's group, and the others are on their way back.

"I've got her," he says. "She's hurt. And she really needs water. Anyone brought anything?"

The children look at each other helplessly. Then Loa brightens, reaches into the pocket of her cargo pants and pulls out a small juicebox full of apple juice. "I go hypoglycemic sometimes," she says.

"Good." Julian pries Laura off of him and sits her back with his mind. There is a collective wince, as they see the extent of Laura's burns. One half of her—the side pressed to the sand—is covered in  
second and third degree burns; the corner of her mouth, and one eyelid is disfigured, drooping. She is missing hair on one spot, and the scalp looks singed.

"Here." Julian stabs the straw into the juice and gives it to her. She drinks, closing her eyes.

"Better?" he asks, when she is done and sucking every last drop out of the container. She gives a small nod; Loa takes the empty juice box and puts it in her pocket.

"Wolverine is here," Laura says, now able to speak.

"And the one at home is a zombie, right?" Cessily says.

"They have swapped souls," Laura says. "Wolverine made a deal with…it. He is here, in a cage…while it uses his body."

Silence.

"Heavy," Pixie says finally.

"We need to go to the mountains," Laura says. "There is a citadel, at the 'Heart of the Fire'. Some creature called 'Herself' is there, holding Wolverine captive." She pauses. "I was told this by something  
called the 'Truthsayer'. It told me, also, that I have fought 'Her' before…and lost."

"Uhh…okay," Cessily says.

"I hate hell dimensions," Victor says helplessly.

Julian's eyes glow. "Well, if we're _going _there…let's go. Pixie?"

"_**Sihal Novarum Chinoth!**_" she shouts.

**…**

_**POOF!**_

The group reappears at the foothills of the mountain in a cloud of pink light. Laura is in Julian's arms again, as her foot is too hurt for her to put weight on it. She leans her head against his shoulder.

"Alright…" Julian looks up at the shapes above them. "So we're looking for a castle. And apparently it's inside a big fire. I hope I can shield us through that." He pauses, imagining adding burns to his  
already crippled state. "Have to find it first, though. Let's start by looking for a big fire."

"I can see why he's in charge," Loa says, grinning.

"Shut up! Julian's really good," Cessily says.

Julian picks them up mentally, and they begin to ascend the mountains. Laura watches the landscape below, and thinks of how relieved she was to see him. This is perhaps the first time her gratitude  
of seeing him during a mission has outweighed her fear for his safety. She could not have done this alone; she had already admitted defeat when he had picked her up.

"There," Victor says suddenly, pointing with his giant arm towards a glow in the distance. Between two of the highest peaks, a sliver of bright, orange light.

As they near the glow, Cessily asks: "Why do you think there's _nothing_ in this world? Aren't hell dimensions usually full of, like, demons and stuff?"

Julian frowns.

"Maybe 'She' reigns Supreme," Sooraya murmurs, from behind her niqab.

"Then just how tough is this bitch?" Loa asks.

"I'm guessing she's no push-over. Laura said…that she tried to beat her before, and failed." He frowns. "Who have you failed to—" he stops, trading glances with her apprehensively. "No way. _Her?_"

"I do not know," Laura says.

"Waitaminute, _who?_" Cessily asks.

"We're talking about Kimura," Julian says.

"Oh, god. No." Cessily looks afraid; she's had the displeasure of meeting Laura's handler as well.

"That would explain a lot," Julian says. "I've never seen anyone so psychotic…but…Laura, I brushed her away with a _thought. _Not even a strong one. If she were that powerful…"

Laura says nothing. They pass between the peaks they'd seen in the distance and are presented with a massive chasm full of liquid magma, and surrounded by a ring of fire so pure that it is mostly  
blue. Beyond it they see fire of all different colors; red, white, green, yellow, violet, and so on.

Suddenly Julian is thrown back; the rest tumble through the air and land in various places on the rocky ground, amidst cries of "OUCH!" and "Holy crap!"

"It's got some kind of forcefield," Julian says, still airborne. He nears the ground and sets Laura down carefully. "Okay, who wants to go first?" he asks.

No one answers. He asks Loa for the juice box, which she provides. They watch as he picks it up mentally, surrounding it with a bubble of thought, then moves it into the fire.

_**FWWWWAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHH!**_

__Julian starts; the bubble has disappeared, and the juice box with it.

"Damn," he says. "Dust…sand dampens fire…give it a try?"

Sooraya looks fearful, remembering an experience with the X-man Magma. She complies; her hand turns to sand. Carefully she pokes the tip of her finger into the fire; she removes it instantly and  
looks at it. "It's turned to glass," she says. "I can do nothing."

Julian rubs the inside of his arm across his face, wiping sweat away. "Mercury…you could go through it and tell us what's on the other side."

Cessily turns into a blob of liquid metal and snakes through the flames. A shrill scream is heard; moments later she's back and reforming. She's smoking and bubbling.

"THAT'S HOT!" she yells. "NO WAY! It hurts _worse_ than those lasers they used on me!"

"Crap." Julian considers the fire. "There's got to be a way through it. Loa…could you phase through it?"

"I'll give it a go." The Hawaiian girl puts her hand through the flames and withdraws it; a hole forms in its absence. "Hey, what do you know."

"Make us a passage way," Julian says. "Wide enough that we're not sucking in our guts. Accidents happen and I don't want them happening _here._"

"Yessir," Loa says, saluting; she steps into the fire, and begins to move forward.

After about twenty minutes has passed, she returns and pokes her head out of the gate she's created. "Come on guys, the water's fine!" she says, grinning. Julian picks Laura up mentally, from where  
she has been leaning against him, keeping her foot off the ground. "I'll hold you in front of me," he says. "We'll go slow. Tell me if I should stop."

They inch through the fire tunnel, Julian and everyone else wondering if it's suddenly going to close around them. Finally they reach the other side, sweat rolling down their bodies in huge droplets.

"Shit, it's hot," Julian pants, wiping his forehead again. He unzips his uniform to his waist, then catches Laura eyeing him and grins. "Hey, I'm wearing a full bodysuit, and you're wearing a sportsbra…I  
get hot faster," he murmurs, putting his arm around her. Laura says nothing, but leans her head against him and closes her eyes. He notes that her wounds are slowly healing; the second degree burns  
are gone, and the third degree burns look like second degree. Her eyelid is fixing itself, and her mouth is perfect again.

They look around them. They are standing in an empty circle, in the middle of the fire. Everyone's eyes immediately settles on a creature walking towards them—a lion, with a woman's face. She looks  
sad and intelligent; Julian almost thinks her face is stuck on by accident, and that she is impatient about this.

The Sphinx smiles at them, amused. "Only the worthy may proceed."

"Each of us is worth more than this whole place put together," Julian says fiercely.

Soft laughter. "Your souls make you valuable. One can do much with a soul. Power magics…immortality…domination…" she pauses. "The soul does not have to be your own." She studies Laura in  
particular. "Fascinating. This one should be empty."

Everyone looks at Laura, who feels aghast. Her worst suspicions come true.

"She is creating one," the Sphinx adds. "The Drinker of Souls will desire hers the most. But that is not my area of attention." She smiles firmly. "I will ask you three riddles. Should you manage to solve  
these, I will step aside." Behind her, a door appears, in the empty space. "Should you fail…the fire will consume you." The flames roar for a moment, even higher. As if grumbling in hunger. "At any time  
before answering the first…should you wish to leave…the path is open."

"We're pretty smart. What're your riddles?" Julian asks.

"Food can help me survive, but water can kill me. What am I?" the Sphinx asks.

The students look at each other helplessly, all of them blanking out at the thought of such a weighted riddle. The Cuckoos raise their eyebrows, as one.

"Fffire," they say.

The Sphinx pauses. "Is that your final answer?"

"Yyyes."

The doorway behind the students disappears. "You have solved the first riddle, are you ready for the next?" the Sphinx asks.

Julian nods.

"What is broken every time it's spoken?" The Sphinx asks. She sits on her haunches, her lion's tail flicking back and forth.

"Sssilence," the Cuckoos say, smiling slowly in their creepy manner they do, when they know a secret.

"Is this your final answer?"

"Yes," Julian says, trusting the sisters. Again the Sphinx nods. "Are you ready for the final question?"

"Yes," Laura says.

"There is one that has a head without an eye,  
And there's one that has an eye without a head.  
You may find the answer if you try;  
And when all is said,  
Half the answer hangs upon a thread."

The Sphinx licks her lips, certain the students won't guess this one.

"Pppin and needle," the Cuckoos say.

"Correct," the Sphinx says. Her eyes fill with fury. "Trickery. You would insult me with trickery. Mind readers! Witches! That is not easily solved, and I have won hundreds of thousands with that question."

Julian glances at the Cuckoos. They've read the Sphinx's mind.

"You can't prove that," he says. "And you never said they _couldn't _read your mind."

The Sphinx pauses, then steps aside, the door appearing and opening with a _crrrrreak!_ "I am duty bound to let you by."

"C'mon girls," Julian says, picking Laura up again and stepping towards the door. Behind him Cessily stifles a giggle and whispers something to Sooraya.

"What?" he asks, pausing on the other side of the door to look back at his friends.

"Just…you're carrying her over a _threshold_," Cessily says, grinning. Pixie giggles too as she follows the redheaded girl through the door.

"For the love of god." Julian flushes, and shifts Laura's weight in his arms. She looks at the other girl, not understanding what they are talking about. "Focus, Cess. We're in _hell._ This hardly the time to act so immature."

"Sorry, captain," Cessily says, saluting him. "I'll be Private Serious now."

Julian shakes his head, and moves on. It seems they are descending downwards; Laura feels the pressure in her ears change, and she works her jaw to open the canals. She notes Julian doing the same thing, feeling  
the cords move in his neck. Finally they reach a large underground cavern; the water is deep and dark. There is a dark figure at the end; as they move closer, they can see it is a boat, with large scrolls on the stern and bow.

There is a hooded figure at the end of the boat. Visible under the hood is a brown-stained jaw bone, complete with shining teeth in a skeletal grin. It raises its head, revealing empty eye sockets, and a missing  
nose. It might have been a person, a very long time ago.

Laura feels Julian stiffening, his arms tightening. "Fucking…" he says softly. He sounds scared.

"_**EWWW!" **_Pixie screeches, catching sight of this figure. "I WANT TO GO BACK! I DON'T—"

"Stop it," Laura says. "Put me down."

Julian does so, and watches as she walks forward, limping slightly, but unafraid. "We need to get to the other side," Laura says to the figure.

The creature turns its head, 'looking' across the water, then turns back to her. Slowly a hand appears from the folds of its robe—rather, what used to be a hand. It's mostly bone.

"Pay the ferryman," Cessily says. "Guys, this is the river Styx…that ferryman is Charon…don't you remember History class?"

"Yeah," Julian says, watching Laura and the ferryman. "What do we have to pay with?"

"Money," Cessily answers. "Umm…I don't have any. This is my combat suit."

"Loa?" Julian tries next.

"Sorry dude…I'm completely broke," she says. "Santo bummed me for pizza money the other day."

"I could teleport us," Pixie says, but the Cuckoos shake their heads simultaneously.

"Ttthe only way across is the ferry," they say. "We can sense the spirits all around us. They are restless. Magic will not work here…and if Julian flies, they might attack us."

"They're _ghosts,_" Julian says. He pauses. "Yeah, okay, I don't want to be attacked by ghosts. Really not what I need right now." Digging into his pockets, he pulls out his wallet. "Damn, I don't have cash  
either…you think he takes Mastercard?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Cessily says, rolling her eyes. "_God, _Julian."

"It's not my fault he's behind in the times," Julian says indignantly, feeling stupid.

Laura is reaching into her remaining boot, and grabbing something. They watch as she pulls out a hundred-dollar bill, slightly wrinkled. "How much for all of us?" she asks.

The ferryman points at the bill.

"Your girlfriend is amazing," Cessily comments.

"I'll pay her back," Julian says.

"Sure you will."

"I will!" he says. "Mastercard can use it in their commercial. 'Juice in Hell…five dollars. Boat ride over the river of death…one hundred dollars. Saving the person you were cloned from…priceless."

"Hah!" Loa says, amused.

The ferryman studies the bill, turns it over in his hand with two long, thin bones that were once fingers. He then raises the bill against the dim light—"Is he _checking _it?" Julian exclaims—then makes a  
rough gesture to come on board.

Laura boards, and the rest follow, trying to give the ferryman as wide a berth as possible. They crowd into the bow, then the boat pushes off, the skeletal figure standing in the stern, holding a long stick,  
which he dips slowly into the water to move the boat.

"Look…the water is glittery, like my dust," Pixie says, her wings fluttering. Sure enough the water _is_ sparkling…Laura notes how blue it is, and is suddenly intoxicated with it. It reminds her of a color she  
has seen before. She reaches out for it; beside her she notices Julian doing the same thing.

"WHOA!" Cessily shouts, snaking a strip of metal around the pair and yanking them back. "What the heck are you _doing? _You don't _touch_ it!"

Laura blinks, as if coming out of a trance.

"…why?" Julian asks.

"Because you can't," Cessily says. "I just have a _really _bad feeling about it."

Loa nudges the others, and points to something on the inside of the boat. A crocheted doily that says '_Home Sweet Hell'. _They raise their eyebrows collectively, but are not sure how to act.

A few minutes pass in silence; then the other shore comes into view, through the light fog that wafts from the surface of the river. The boat glides smoothly onto the bank, and the ferryman nods at  
them slightly. They file off the boat, then reconvene.

"What do we do now?" Julian asks. Only the shore is visible; fog obscures their vision beyond a distance of ten or so feet.

"Head that way?" Loa suggests, meaning the fog. This is their only option, so they begin to walk. Julian brushes his arm against Laura's hand, wanting to hold it; she catches the end and wraps her  
fingers around it anyway. He feels vaguely comforted, as the thick wall of fog closes around them.

_"…you're the man, Jules…_"

Julian stops, dead in his tracks, and looks off to a point in the fog, on his right. "B-Brian?" he asks, uncertain. Laura watches him, detecting fear in his scent; behind them the others have also stopped, listening.

_"…don't want to _leave…" someone says to Cessily. A girl. She covers her mouth; these are the students that were killed on the bus, by the Purifiers.

"Why are they _here_?" Julian demands, his face pale. "This is _hell!_ What—"

_"Laura…your name is Laura…not X-23…"_

She releases his arm and tears into the mist, the other students shouting behind her and trying to stop her. Finally Julian thinks to form a bubble around her, and hauls her back in, just as the mist is closing  
behind her, having successfully swallowed the girl.

"Mother," she says, her lip trembling. "She is here."

Silence. "Oh Laura…I'm so sorry," Cessily says. Sooraya looks concerned, too; like Laura, she loves her mother, but cannot be with her.

"Maybe it's not hell…maybe they're just echoes of people we knew," Julian says, his arms on her shoulders. He's upset about his friends, but Laura looks like she's about to completely break apart,  
and they can't afford that now.

"People, we need to keep going," he says. "We can't get sidetracked."

Laura closes her eyes, then nods slightly. They resume picking their way through the fog, trying to ignore the voices.

"…_later…_" Brian whispers sadly, so only Julian can hear. He remembers the boy's disappointed face, the feeling that what was being done to his friend was not _right—_and then all too soon, the  
explosion, leaving him forever with this feeling. He grits his teeth.

Cessily struggles too, with the voice of a little girl she'd put on the bus, and with a few other students. She looks down and watches her feet as she follows the leaders, knowing there is nothing she  
can do, and that this has renewed the wounds she'd tried so hard to heal.

"_I love y—" _Sarah's voice says, then gurgles, to Laura. She feels again the emptiness, the deafening silence that had followed, when she was suddenly all alone. Her eyebrows draw together.

_Wolverine, _she reminds herself. She looks up and sees suddenly that the fog ahead is lighter; they are nearing the end. Julian bumps his arm against her hand again, for support; she takes it  
and pulls him through, gasping as the air suddenly changes from thick and heavy to thin and light.

They are in a courtyard, and ahead is a metal gate. And beyond that, an enormous stone castle.

"Wow," Julian says. "We made it!" They stumble forwards to the gate.

And are confronted by a hideous mass. It's shapeless, dull, multicolored gray, and in the center has a round mouth, lined with teeth that go all around its circumference like the mouth of a  
lamprey. It opens and shuts, drawing rattling breaths. It floats above the ground.

"…..soulssssssss…." it gurgles, with many voices speaking as one.

"This must be that soul drinker thing that Simba the creepy lion was talking about," Julian says, with a twitch of disgust.

"...give...souulllssss…" it says. Then it coughs and clears its throat noisily. "Sorry, something stuck in my throat. Ate a bad 'un a few minutes ago. Serial killer. Anyhow…the price for entry is  
a soul." Its voice is definably male, very nasal and precisely pronounced.

The students look at each other.

"Ooh, what have we here?" The soul-eater hovers in front of Laura. "I'll take this one, yes."

Laura struggles with herself.

"It's not available," Julian says.

"Really?" the soul-eater leans towards Laura, as if examining her, even though he has no eyes. "Pfft. It's not worth much anyway. Shouldn't even _have_ one. You'd be lucky if I let  
even _one_ of you guys in for it."

Julian's eyebrows draw together. He is strongly reminded of a salesman that has found a very valuable item but tries to downplay it for a better deal.

"No, it's not available," he says again. He's worried that Laura's going to agree.

"I'll let…oh heck, her in for it," the soul-eater says. "And the kid with the pink hair and wings."

"All of us or none of us," Julian says. "And we're not giving you a soul. We'll pay otherwise, somehow…but not with that. We need them ourselves."

"Sheeee-it," the soul-eater drawls. "Okay, I'll let you in too. For her soul."

Julian is exasperated. "Look, do you take Mastercard?"

"No, but I'm expecting the CEO of that company to come a knockin' any day now," the soul-eater says. "Name's Larry, by the way. You kids look like you're a long way from home." Larry  
opens his mouth, belches, and a long, drawn-out, dampened scream can be heard from inside him. "'Scuse me," he says.

"…" Julian stares at the soul-eater, speechless, as do the other students. The reality of the situation is hitting them, and Victor looks away, grinning.

"Would you take a _piece_ of my soul?" Pixie says, in a mousy voice, not really wanting to offer.

All eyes turn to her.

"Hmm." The soul-eater purses his mouth in an 'O' shape. "Let's see. Ah yes…someone's taken a piece of it before. Nice soul-dagger, by the way. Just fab."

"Thanks," Pixie says. She hesitates. "What about that? You let us in…I give it to you?"

"Hmm!" The soul-eater tilts backwards, obviously favorably impressed with this idea. "Hmmmm. Hrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm."

"Look, we're in a hurry," Julian says. "Yes or no?"

The soul-eater finally opens its mouth again. "Alright, fine. But you kids are really skinning me on this deal. I mean, jeez, an audience with Her Own Self, in exchange for a _soul dagger? _Charrie  
would think I've gone soft. He'd never let me hear the end of it."

"'Charrie'?" Julian asks, despite himself.

Larry laughs, and it sounds like a thousand people are laughing, very ominous. "Charon. The ferryman. That's my pet name for him."

"Charon took us over the river for a hundred dollars," Cessily says.

The soul-eater blinks. "Well, these _are_ hard times," he murmurs. "So many people are leaving their money with their loved ones when they die…and, come on, there _is_ a depression going on."

"In hell?" Julian asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Everywhere," the soul-eater says. "We depend on you guys for our currency. If people stopped dying, I don't know what Charrie and I would do." He pauses. "Anyways! Let's have that soul dagger, sweety."

Pixie summons it reluctantly, then holds it out; the soul-eater leans forwards and opens his mouth. "Juss id' heah," he says. She hesitates a moment, then tosses the dagger in; Larry's mouth snaps shut.

More screams from inside him. "MMMMM! That really hits the spot. Reminds me of these low-fat blueberry muffins that Charrie used to bake before he began rotting. I was a lot thinner back then, let me tell you!"

Julian wants to gag. He tries very hard not to.

"Alright, let me see here." Arms bud and grow out of Larry's side, he produces a key ring from somewhere and moves over to the gate.

Then he begins to try keys. After about five minutes the door creaks open, and he floats to the side, letting the children through.

"Come again!" he calls, giving them a dainty wave. "Oh…Laura…_very_ nice catch…and Victor…don't give up…if Charrie and I can make it here in hell…you can make it _anywhere."_

"Just kill me now," Victor murmurs in embarrassment.

"You're doing something wrong, Vic," Julian teases, as they walk up a path, through a decrepit-looking garden. Slimy plants stream from crumbling planter boxes, as there is no sunlight to nurture  
them. "_That's _how a gay man supposed to act."

"Oh my _god—_" Victor says, but he stops. They have entered a courtyard, and before them is the doors to the castle. Two guards stand by them, their faces…gone. Just blank, human heads,  
with no eyes, nose, or mouth. They are all too horrifying.

"Hey, I just remembered we're in _hell,_" Cessily says.

"_**EEEEWWWWWWWEWEWEW!**_" Pixie shrieks.


	7. Chapter 7

**7- Chapter 7.  


* * *

**

"So…we fight these guys, or what?" Julian asks.

No body answers. Finally he squares his shoulders and walks up to the door.

_**CLANNNNG! **_

The guards' weapons crossing in front of him. Laura stiffens and moves forward, feeling nervous; she doesn't want _him_ so close to the huge pole arms that the guards bear.

_**NO ONE ENTERS! **_Says the guards' voices in their heads.

"We already paid to get in," Julian says.

_**NO ONE ENTERS! OVER YOUR DEAD BODIES!**_

"Julian…move back," Laura says.

He glances at her, the girl a half-foot shorter than himself, her face resolute.

"No. Not letting you fight them," he says quietly.

"Move back." Laura is beside him now, her claws sliding out. _Snkkt!_

"No. Laura—let me—"

Too late; the girl is a blur, already upon the guards. The students behind them gasp as a limb flies off one of the guards, still holding a pole arm. Yet when they look, the guard has both arms and its weapon again.

Julian pales and throws up a shield as the second guard charges him, then turns the shield into a bubble around the guard and slams it into the one Laura is fighting.

"Laura, _stop it!_" he shouts. "No killing."

The girl stops, panting, brushing her hair out of her face. "They are not human."

"I don't care. _No_ killing."

Laura gives him a bemused look. "You would rather die than a creature who lives here?"

"I—" Julian says, but he's forgot about the guards, and they rush at him.

"NO!" Laura shouts. One stabs the smaller end of the pole arm towards his stomach. Now that he's not actively thinking about moving the guard, it's weapon pierces the shield, obviously impervious.

"_**UURRRK—**_" Julian says, then he focuses on the guard, and blows him into the castle wall so hard the stone cracks around it.

The other kids spring into action. Cessily grabs the arms of the second guard as Laura fights it; Loa is running towards them; Sooraya sweeps up towards the guard that Julian is pinning to the wall,  
along with Pixie. Victor approaches Julian.

"They keep healing!" Cessily shouts, struggling with the first guard.

"Are you—" Victor asks as Julian looks down and mentally grips the pole arm shaft. "Grrk—" he says as he pries it out; he takes a look at it, then it shoots straight into the guard that had stabbed him.

"OH!" Sooraya says, solidifying in the air beside the guard as it explodes into dust.

"The weapon," Laura says, her claws deep inside the guard. "Give it to me, Julian."

He looks up and pries the pole arm out of the wall, where it has imbedded; then he manages to clumsily pass it to Laura before he has to bend over, holding his abdomen with his arms, the front of his  
uniform wet with blood, and his mind foggy with pain. Victor's saying something to him, but he can't tell what.

Laura twirls the pole arm over her head and neatly cuts off the guard's, at the neck. She flings the pole arm down and moves to Julian's side, her face pale. "He requires medical attention," she  
says. "Pixie, teleport him back. Then return for us."

"NO!" Julian wheezes. "Not going without you." He shakes his head. "I'll be—"

Laura puts her arms around his shoulders. "Allow me to see it."

He sits down on the edge of a flowerpot, and Laura examines his bloodied front, her fingers running along the line of his stomach. After a moment, she straightens. "It is not fatal. Painful, but I do not believe  
it has clipped any organs, as it is not deep enough, just shallow and long. The greatest risks are infection and blood loss. You can minimize these chances by keeping the wound closed with your mind."

"Okay," Julian says. He squeezes the bloody slit shut, gritting his teeth. Laura touches his cheek, then turns away. She returns to the battle area, picks up one of the pole arms, studies it, then hefts it in her  
hand and moves towards the castle gate.

…

The castle is dark and damp inside, and smells foul, as if it is full of dead people. None of the students wish to know. Laura and Julian walk in the front; one of her arms is around his waist, and the other wields  
the pole arm, with the notion that it might be useful later.

"_**EWWWW!**_" Pixie squeals suddenly, as they enter a dimly lit room.

Before them is a circular table. Seven men sit around it, dressed in moldering fashions, rusted crowns on their white-skinned, hollow-eyed heads, their hair long and unkempt, beards touching the floor and stained  
with juice around their mouths. On the plate before each sits the arm of their neighbor; and in their free hand, a serrated knife.

Julian stares. "I'm seeing things, right?" he moans.

"No," Laura says, slightly disturbed herself. Cannibalism has always been Kimura's ultimate threat, but she has never actually _seen _the act taking place before, despite all the horrors she has been subjected to.

"We can just go around them, right?" Cessily asks.

"I hope so," Julian murmurs. Slowly they move forwards, each dreading that the men will see them and turn in their seats, but they never stir. The room continues to be filled with moans of pain, sounds of  
metal-against-china, sawing noises, and chewing. They inch around the men, trying to look away but mostly failing. When they reach the doorway on the other side, all are ready to vomit, but none want to  
pause for that long. They quickly head down the passageway, terrified that the men had feigned ignorance and might still make chase.

"Oh man…I hate my life," Julian says, wiping his forehead with his arm. "God…is it me, or is it hot in here?"

Laura peers at him, then at his stomach. The edges of the wound are black, even in the dim light of the hallway. "You need medical attention," she says firmly.

"We're almost there," Julian says. "I'm not leaving you. Any of you. One goes, we _all_ go."

Another room is ahead; as they enter, they become aware of being watches. The room lights up; Cessily gasps, along with several others. There are skeletons lining the walls, shackled, eyes still horribly alive in  
their heads. They open their mouths. "Come here…" they say softly. The group veers towards them, drawn by a compulsion to do so.

"Do not listen to them," Laura says firmly. By some miracle, they make it out of this long room; shortly afterwards they enter a chamber reminiscent of a dungeon. In the center is a man, lying spread-eagle on a rusty  
table, his limbs at unnatural angles. His skin is blistered and covered in boils. There are no visible ties, or weapons, but they stop to watch, in sickened fascination, as cuts appear down his face, along his nose, his lips,  
his chin, ever downwards. A long cut works its way down his middle, and his ribs part, like a live autopsy. His guts and entrails are removed neatly, one by one, by invisible hands, and placed on the table next to  
him. Burn marks appear on his cheek. Then another, and one across his arms. The marks get larger and larger, then—_**WHUD WHUD WHUD!**_—axe heads appear out of mid air and sink themselves into his open  
stomach, onto his exposed spine. Things crawl over his head, to his eyes, snapping their pincers.

He lets out a yell as they get to work.

"It's Reverend Stryker," Cessily says suddenly.

Suddenly, Stryker is perfectly normal again, the torture gone at the sound of her voice. Then his skin begins to boil, and his eyes frost over, the way the students had last seen him, after Elixir had caused his death.

"Penance," he says mournfully, through swollen lips.

Cut marks appear on his cheek as the cycle begins again.

"Let's go," Julian says, shaken. He'd never wanted to see Stryker again, let alone deal with _this._ To have to think whether this man's punishment in death was too harsh—or not enough.

The students leave the room behind. After a few more rooms, that are mostly empty save for furniture and a few unknown spirits, they ascend a long flight of stairs. At the top of these is an enormous set of  
wood-paneled doors, with a long, blackened metal chain connecting them.

"Looks like…a throne room," Julian murmurs.

The group falls silent, staring up and the doors and wondering: are they ready? If the lesser creatures of this underworld are so powerful…then what is the Queen of them all like?

Laura worries about Julian. She can smell that his wound is deepening; the edges are rotting away. It's something about the blade she holds. She wavers; which does she value more? Logan, or  
Julian? Which one will she feel less loss for?

"What…are we waiting for?" he wheezes, looking at Laura, his eyes glowing in the dark. She can see perspiration on his forehead; she reaches up and wipes it away, her fingers threading through his  
dark hair. "I value you," she murmurs.

He blinks. "I care about you too."

"Please, go back," Laura says, her eyes pleading. "I do not want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," he says. "I'll go…if you come with me. We _all_ go, or none of us do."

She leans forwards, presses her lips against his—"God! Get a _room!_" Victor snaps in the back—then draws away. "You are a good friend," she says, hefting the blade. She swings it down on the chain, again and again, and again.

_**CLANG!**_

_**CLANG!**_

Sparks fly.

_**CLANGK! **_

The chain parts and swings on both sides; Laura approaches the door and pushes it inwards.


	8. Chapter 8

**8- Chapter 8.  
**

* * *

The students are looking into a long, gloomy corridor. A moldy, tattered red carpet leads up the expanse; at the end of this, in a circle ring, is a throne, intricately painted with gold. There are  
black cages on either side of this throne, as well as large candle brassieres.

"No time like the present," Julian says, with effort. He's trying to hide how far gone he is.

The group moves forwards, warily. After a time they reach the circle.

Nothing happens. They look at each other.

**_FWWOOSSHHH!_**

Everyone starts as the candles roar to life in a brilliant blaze of fire. Then the other students disappear, leaving only Laura and Julian.

"Took you long enough, clone."

Laura looks up; Kimura is sitting in the throne, leaning her head on her hand, smiling darkly. In the cage beside her is Logan, or what looks like it might have been him, once. He is pale and see-through,  
like the spirits they have seen along the way.

"Kimura," Laura says.

The woman inclines her head slightly. "Actually, I'm just the visual reputation of what you fear the most. Every one of you sees a different thing."

Laura's gaze falls to Logan. "Let him go." She places the end of her pole arm on the ground with a heavy _**thud!**_

"Oh, clone." Kimura smiles. "You know weapons can't hurt _me._ And you brought your little friends, too."

"Let him _**go,**_" Laura repeats.

Beside her, Julian stumbles, grabs the girl's arm as he falls down making an awful noise. Laura watches as his face relaxes his eyes half-closed. Then they stop being green, and she can see his eyes are fixed  
in a point on space that she can't see. She has seen this before. She swallows.

"Not him," Laura says, looking up at Kimura. "Please."

"Let me get this straight…you want him back?" the woman asks, her eyebrows raised. "AND you want Wolverine, too, so you can end the party I'm having up there?"

"Yes," Laura says.

"And I'm gaining _what_ in this scenario?"

"…" Laura glares at her. "Fight me."

Kimura blows out air. "For what? I already know I'm stronger, and better, and have nothing to lose. Your story…I hear it every day, kid. 'They're too young to die, yada yada yada'. And I don't give a damn. Pity you  
came all this way…just to kill someone else you think you love." She smiles. "That's not love. It's an artificial sensation. Just like when you thought you loved your mother. Hey, I know!"

Laura whirls around.

"You have a _name." _A figure is walking down the hall towards her. Sarah. Her mother.

"No—" Laura says.

"You will fight _her,_" Kimura says. "You will kill _her_ again. And I'll let you take one of them back. That's how it works…one sacrifice, for one soul. It's a dusty old rule of ours." She jerks her thumb at an old-looking brass  
plaque on the wall behind her.

"…" Laura whips her head to stare at Her. "No, please…I-I can't…"

Sarah has reached her. This _is_ Sarah; Laura can smell her, hear her, see her, on all different levels of consciousness. She glows softly, with a soft light, and her face is touched with a serene smile, just how it always  
was in life when she looked at Laura, in moments of love.

"You've grown," Sarah says, reaching out and touching Laura's cheek. Her fingers are warm.

Laura closes her eyes. How she's missed her touch. Tears roll down her cheeks, unbidden.

"I didn't—" she begins.

"I know." Sarah gathers her in her arms. "I know, sweetheart. It's not your fault. Come on…we can still do this. We can _be_ a family."

"_No!_" Laura whimpers. "You're dead!" She pulls away, her face strained.

"Looks alive to me," Kimura comments. "Going to do it, X? Give her a good back-stab? I should warn you, my attention wonders…I'm having so much fun up there." She pauses. "When I get tired of his body…I'm moving on to _yours, _X."

Laura wipes away a tear. "Mother…"

"I'll always be with you," Sarah says gently, touching her breastbone. "Do what you need to, for your family. The one you have _now_." She is speaking of Julian, lying on the floor with his light extinguished,  
and Logan, in the cage, watching this all take place without comprehending. He's somewhere else, in a hell all his own, maybe even standing _here_ and pleading with Her for someone else's life.

Laura looks at her mother, with grateful eyes. Even this Herself cannot make her say the wrong thing.

Sarah will always know what to say, whether she is dead or alive.

The girl considers the weapon in her hand, then drops it. It clatters to the ground, at her feet, near where Julian lays at her feet.

"Giving up, so soon?" Kimura asks, but she hasn't finished the motion. Laura's claws pop—_snnkt—_and sink into Sarah's stomach, delivering the same fatal wound they had many years ago.

"_**HURRRKK—**_" Sarah says, and drops of blood spurt out of her mouth. She focuses slowly on Laura, her claws still imbedded. "…thank you," she says. She seems to disintegrate, then she bursts into powder;  
moments later Laura's fists and claws rest on thin air, and she stumbles forward.

"Well, _that_ was anticlimactic," Kimura drawls from the throne.

"You promised them back!" Laura yells, reaching for her weapon again and wielding it as a threat.

"I did, didn't I, kid," Kimura says, smiling. Then she considers. "Fine. I don't need this one anymore…" Logan's cage opens; he stumbles into midair and dissipates.

"He is alive?" Laura asks.

"Sure."

Now Laura looks down at Julian. "What do I have to do?"

"There is nothing you _can_ do," Kimura says. "_One _sacrifice, for _one _soul. One per customer. I have given you your soul desired soul back." She also looks at Julian. "Kid expired, from his own stupidity.  
I won't give you another chance."

"FIGHT ME!" Laura demands, sweeping the blade through the air.

"You could give your soul for his," Kimura says, examining her fingernails. "Your home-made, duct-taped, patchwork, little clone soul."

Laura looks at the boy on the floor. "Done," she says, without hesitation.

"Really?" Kimura stops looking at her fingernails. "In your shoes, I'd hardly think he's worth it. Then again…you live for misery, don't you, clone? Very well."

The most blindingly painful experience of her short life begins. Laura chokes as the air is drawn out of her lungs, then begins to spasm. She is aware of something missing…then nothing.

She is not a visitor to hell anymore…but a part of it.

**…**

Julian, still on the floor, blinks, as he starts to breathe again. He feels like _shit_—like he had so much booze the other night that he puked his guts dry. He wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve and sits up  
slowly, his throbbing head telling him there's something that he's left unfinished.

Beside him, Laura slumps to the ground.

"Oh, _fuck,_" he says, scrambling towards her in panic. He touches her face and finds it cold. Then he realizes he has _fingers, _and he looks up at…it.

The Nimrod.

"THIS UNIT REPAIRED THE MUTANT," it says in its robotic voice, sitting ramrod straight. "TO INCREASE CHANCES OF SURVIVAL. AND OUT OF PITY TOWARDS SOMETHING SO PATHETIC." It pauses.  
"LEAVE. THE FEMALE MUTANT MADE AN ARRANGEMENT. THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO BE DONE HERE."

Julian looks at Laura. "I'm not going without her," he says.

The robot stares straight ahead. "THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE. THIS MUTANT MUST LEAVE THE HIGH COURT."

"Fight me!" Julian demands. "Your life for hers!" His eyes glow.

"THIS UNIT WILL NOT COMPLY," The Nimrod says. "THIS MUTANT HAS ALREADY USED ALL POSSIBLE ALTERNATIVES TO RECLAIM WHAT IS LOST."

"I _didn't!_" Julian insists. "I haven't 'reclaimed' anyone. I'll do anything."

The Nimrod stares blankly ahead, without answering.

"_**ANSWER ME!"**_ Julian shouts, his eyes burning. "Are you too fucking cowardly to fight me?"

"THIS UNIT DOES NOT FEEL FEAR," the Nimrod says.

Julian remembers something. "You _have_ to let me try something for her," he says. "You're obligated. I read the little thing behind you." He's referring to the weird, dusty brass plaque that says  
'_Sacrifice for a Soul, One Per Customer. Coupon expiry: Never'_.

The Nimrod turns its head slowly. "THIS UNIT IS OBLIGATED TO DO NOTHING. THE MUTANT WILL LEAVE."

"_**I'll DO ANYTHING!**_" Julian roars.

The Nimrod pauses. Then…

"REMOVE YOUR HANDS," it orders.

Julian looks at his hands, makes fists with them, opens them again. He swallows. His hands, his real hands, which he has not seen for a long time now. Too long. The hands he misses almost every second of his  
real life. The hands that he'd needed, now, when there was something to touch. Laura.

He looks at her on the floor, confused.

"I…"

"THE MUTANT WILL LEAVE."

Julian hesitates, for a few long seconds. He has his hands back. He could go, and be normal again, as normal as his life ever is.

He closes his eyes. He knows, too, that he'll never be able to live with himself if he leaves her here. The only person who had blindly accepted his difference, to whom it had not mattered. The girl who always gives  
everything up for everyone else, and gets nothing in return but shunning and ridicule.

Julian knows what he has to do. He considers it a few moments longer, then kneels by Laura's side, and runs his hand down the side of her cheek, her front, feeling everything he can think of that he wanted to  
touch. She feels soft and muscular, like her hands do. Like steel tempered with silk.

He reaches her hands, and laces his fingers through them for a moment, holding them. He'll never be able to do this again. He wishes she were actually alive for this.

Then he realizes he really doesn't. She doesn't need to see this. He closes his eyes.

Julian twists his arms to the side and lines his wrists up under the still-ejected claws. They're so very sharp. He takes a deep breath, then moves.

"_**—"**_ he is dimly aware of his own voice in the background; he chokes, and falls sideways, unable to think beyond the pain. Not even memory had managed to preserve that pain. As he lies there he begins to  
hallucinate that he is somewhere else, with his parents perhaps.

The Nimrod stares ahead, then the room disappears.

**…**

Laura opens her eyes, to a white ceiling. She feels something rattling in her mouth; a moment later she's gagging against it. A ventilator. She shakes her head back and forth, finally her hands come up and she is  
able to pull it from her mouth.

She sits up, gasping, heart pounding. Has she done it? Is Logan—

**…**

"Oh my _god, _get him to the infirmary, right now!" Cessily shouts, her hands on Julian's shoulders as he hugs his arms to him, somehow standing up, but barely. The group had seen Julian and Laura walk  
towards the end of the hall, and then they'd dissipated. The next thing they'd known, they had been back in Utopia.

"That bitch cut his hands off!" Cessily exclaims.

"Uhh—" Pixie says. "Not to sound dumb…but weren't they _already_ gone? _**Sihal Novarum Chinoth!**_"

Pixie, Julian and Cessily pop into existence in the infirmary, beside Laura, who is sitting up, mouth open.

_**"DR. McCOY!"**_ Cessily yells at the top of her lungs, trying to keep Julian standing. His face looks very pale, as if—Laura sees the ground beneath him is already slick and red. It's everywhere.

"Lay him here," Laura says, swinging her legs off her stretcher. She assists the other children in lifting him onto it; she sees that the ends of his arms have been sliced off, the wounds reopening—worse than  
before—and are gushing blood, like fountains. Laura rips off part of the bed sheet and presses it against one stump, ordering Cessily to do the same with the other.

She sees something on either side of the stretcher.

The infirmary doors open, and Dr. McCoy enters the room. "What—Laura! You're awake! And—" he sees Julian, who is currently turning everything red, and inhales sharply. "Oh _my. _This is most—"

"_**HELP HIM!**_" Cessily roars.

**…**

Two days later, Julian awakens as well, still heavily drugged. He looks sleepily around the room, then at his heavily bandaged hands on the bed. His eyebrows draw together.

"What…?" he asks slowly.

"You cut your hands off, using my claws," Laura explains, from the side of the bed.

"Oh." Julian blinks. "…_huh?_"

"Your hands. You cut them off. With my claws." Laura says slowly.

"When'd…I get…" Julian stares at them, like they are alien creatures. Indeed they are. He can't feel them; he's just aware of them visually.

"You are sedated. I will tell you later."

"Okay," Julian says, in a relieved way. He closes his eyes again, too tired to deal with this.


	9. Chapter 9

**9- Chapter 9.  
**

* * *

"I keep thinking they're going to fall off," Julian says. He is sitting with Laura on the beach, a carton of beer between them. They are sitting several yards upwind of the other students, who are having a bonfire; Julian's still using his mind to hold his food and drink.

"What?" Laura asks, swallowing.

"My hands. They're like rubber gloves." Julian raises an arm and shakes it, watching the digits in fascination.

"Stop that."

"Easy for _you _to say," he says, then he grins slightly. "Miss Perma heal."

Laura looks at him blankly. "Perma?"

"It's…oh, never mind." He squeezes the arm he has around her and takes a bite of his sandwich. It has been a relatively quiet two weeks since the traumatic night in the Infirmary during which Beast had labored for hours with several other surgeons to reattach his hands. Bones had been trimmed and wired together, vessels, veins and nerves re-connected, and tissue sutured. He'd been out for a day and a half; now he is on antibiotics and a strict diet. He's been told that it might take up to six months for him to regain sensation in the digits; he's also been given hand exercises, and told to use his telekinesis very little, in order to strengthen his limbs as much as possible. He has appointments with Dr. McCoy twice a week, and has been warned that he may not ever have fully functioning hands.

Julian's quite confident they're going to heal. Having them back has boosted his self esteem.

"You talk to Wolverine yet?" he asks, after a moment.

"No."

"Oh? Why?"

"He is avoiding me," Laura says quietly.

"Pretty shitty way to thank you," Julian comments. "That wasn't the greatest thing _I've_ ever done. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you."

"You didn't have to." Laura looks at him. "You should have left, when you could."

"I told you—"

"When I was dead." Laura hesitates. "And your hands were not severed."

"I was already coming to terms with losing them," he says. "Losing you would have…I don't want to lose another friend, Laura. Not ever." He gives her a resolute look.

"…" Laura says. She thinks of her mother, her serene face. No, she doesn't want to lose anyone again, either. She still wakes at night, gasping, her mother's name on her lips, her fingers on her cheek.

"What did you do? For Logan?" Julian asks. "I was conked out."

Laura looks down. "I do not want to talk about this."

Silence. Julian takes another bite of pizza, but it is clear that he isn't pleased with this.

"Hey," Cessily says, from a few feet away. They both look up; she's holding a few boxes of pizza, and a carton of pop. Behind her are Sooraya and Megan. "Can we sit with you guys? Santo's fouling up the air with mom-jokes again."

"Sure," Julian says. Since the expedition they'd made to hell, the group of children had for the most part been closer, save for the Cuckoos, who never got close to anyone.

"I am _never_ going to get over Larry," Cessily says, grinning.

"Probably not," Julian says. "I'm not going to get over _any_of it. Do you remember those guys in the hallway? Eating—"

"_**EWWWW!**_" Pixie shrieks. "_I'm trying to eat!_"

"It was probably a punishment," Cessily says. "They looked like kings or something."

Silence.

"I don't know how I can ever sleep again, knowing that, somewhere, somehow, someone is doing _that,_" Pixie says. "So gross."

Julian takes another bite of his sandwich, seemingly unaffected.

"Speaking of arms…how are your hands?" Cessily asks him.

Julian swallows. "You asked me last _night, _Cess."

"And?"

"Still like rubber spiders," he says. "I can pick up a big ball with the right one, and I can almost pick up a medium ball with the left one. Dr. McCoy says we're moving up a pound on next lesson."

"That's awesome!" Cessily says encouragingly.

"Maybe."

"What is _she_ still doing here?"

The group looks up as they see Nori stopping on the path beside them. Santo and Hope Abbott are just behind her, and are also stopping. They mean Laura.

"She's one of _us,_ Nori," Julian says angrily. "How could you ask that?"

"She isn't. She's a murderer." Nori scowls at Laura. "I can't _believe _Cyclops is letting people like you and Magneto stay here. That's not how it was in the old days."

"And this isn't the 'old days'," Julian says. "You make me proud that I didn't let you in when you were banging on the gates. Hey, aren't you a thief?"

Nori glares at him. He is referring to when she'd first approached the institute, a homeless drug addict with filthy hair and thick, mismatched clothing that wasn't hers. She resents being reminded that he was at the institute _first_.

"That's different. _I_ never killed anyone. And besides…I'm not to blame for my prejudiced parents. _You_know the drill, Keller. She doesn't. She's just a—"

"How do you get off blaming Laura for how she was made?" Cessily demands. "God, Nori, just _shut up!_ No one cares what you say."

"I can't believe you guys won't pay attention to the fact that you have a _serial killer_ sitting—"

"This isn't about that," Julian says. "You certainly didn't pick on her when she was at the school. You didn't even _notice_her."

Nori stares at him. "Of course I noticed her, when she executed that guy in front of us! And then it turns out that she's been murdering people right under our noses! How do I know she won't turn on _us_?"

"I'm not comfortable having her here either," Hope Abbott says. "She's violent. She goes against everything Xavier's tried to teach us."

"_You_ go against 'everything Xavier's tried to teach us'," Sooraya says quietly. "Xavier's was about peace, and unity, and blind acceptance. Whatever happened to that?"

Silence.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Laura?" Nori asks her, seething.

All eyes turn to Laura, who starts to get up. "I do not wish to discuss this."

"_See?_" Nori starts to say.

"Cyclops instructed me not to. I am not at liberty to divulge information that is not—"

"Bull _shit!_" Santo bellows. "That's a lie—"

"You know what, Nori?" Julian says. He holds his hand in front of her, and uses his mind to bend down certain fingers. "Yeah, _that_ just happened. You suck _so_ much that I made the effort to flip you off."

"You—" the air around Nori crackles with unreleased electricity.

"Move along now," Julian says, picking up her, Hope, and Santo, and hurling them down the beach.

"Yeah! That was _awesome,_" Cessily says. "God, when did Nori get to be such a _bitch?_ She was halfway decent for a while."

Julian glances at Laura's down turned face. The fighting means nothing to her except that she shouldn't be here. "Laura, you _know_ that's not what we think, right?"

"She is right," Laura says. "Why would any of you trust me?"

Silence.

"You were doing it _for_ us," Cessily says. "You—"

"Not everyone believes that." Laura looks away. "I do not know what I believe. Wolverine thought it was mindless obedience. He may be right." This is the closest Laura has come to discussing her actions with the other students.

Silence, again. She gets to her feet and leaves, her face down turned.

**…**

Later that night, Laura tenses, and raises her head from the grass, where she has been sleeping. There is a pattern pressed into her cheek, and her eyes are heavy and dull with sleep. Her hair and skirt are sprawled around her, rippling gently in the breeze.

Julian is standing over her, his face impassive. "Hey."

She watches him warily and doesn't respond. If she had detected him coming she probably would have left the area. She doesn't want to face him or the other children right now.

"So that's how you deal? You just walk away from us when we defend you?" he asks.

Laura looks down. "I—"

"What about what I _did_ for you?" Julian demands, holding up his hands. The heavy lines on his wrist are black in the dark, and still a little shiny. "I could have walked away and left you there. Completely whole again. Instead I chose to subject myself to a year of pain and frustrating shit…and I didn't even know I would have _that._ Thought they were gone."

"I don't have answers for you," Laura says. She hesitates. "I don't have answers for _myself._"

"I didn't _ask_ you anything," he says, almost frustrated. "That was Nori."

"She is right to be afraid," Laura says.

"She isn't." Julian glares at her. "Don't buy her act, Laura. She doesn't even _respect _you for what you're capable of. If she was afraid…she wouldn't provoke you."

Laura looks up at him.

"She's jealous," he says. "She has a crush on me. That's all there is to it."

"The others—" Laura starts.

"Are following her because she's leading the team. And she organizes stuff, like better food."

Silence.

"_You_ should be afraid," Laura points out.

"I've already been afraid long enough," he replies. "And I've had just about everything bad happen that _can_ happen. I've been shot, impaled, amputated…what do I have left to be afraid of?"

Laura thinks.

"Come inside." He holds out his hand, then thinks better of it and offers his arm. After a moment she takes it, pulling herself up, and he guides her back towards the dorms.

She pauses at the division between the Men's and Women's dormitories.

"I thought…" Julian mumbles. He reaches up and brushes the backs of his fingers against the side of her face. He can feel a slight sensation in that area; not texture, not touch, not warmth; it's indescribable. He just knows without seeing that his hand is moving by something. He can't wait until the nerves begin to connect properly, so maybe parts of his fingers will be able to feel properly again.

Laura looks down, and he feels confused. She seems disappointed that he is touching her.

"What's wrong?" he asks, frowning, his fingers still in the air near her face. Maybe they're cold? Hell if he knows. Or maybe she's creeped out by—

"You are whole again," she says.

"And…?" he asks.

"You do not feel inadequate anymore. I am not your only option for…companionship."

Julian stares at her, then lowers his hand. "_Damn._ That's..." He pauses. "That was below the belt, Laura."

She looks up. "Below the—"

"Bitchy."

Laura's eyes widen slightly. "I did not mean—"

"Like I would take _anyone _because they were my only option." He sounds angry.

"No, I—" Laura's expression is strained. "I _know_ you could have…anyone. I meant…you did not want me before. Before your loss. Only after, when you were…" she pauses. "Different. When you felt alone."

Julian considers her. "Laura…I told you…look, let's not talk in the hallway." He doesn't specify where they are going, but he offers her his hand again; they head down the Men's dorm hall, and pause in front of his door while he opens it. His eyes widen as he sees it's covered in laundry; he steps in front of Laura quickly with a grin.

"Just a sec."

He darts into the room, and Laura hears the distinctive sound of his powers, and then a closet door being jammed shut. "Okay," he calls. She enters, and finds him still trying to shut the panel. He finally gives up, and she sees a shirt sleeve sticking out, but he doesn't seem to care.

_Clunk! _The door shutting behind her, pressed by her fingertips. He is correct; this is not a conversation that she wants to spread amongst the other children, and she doubts he want it to be known, either.

He sits down on the bed, pats the place beside him, and after a moment of hesitation, she joins him.

"We…you…I told you that I—I've wanted you for a long time," he says, looking at his hands. "The only difference losing—well, _everything _that happened to me—has made, is I stopped denying it. I realized life was too short, and that I wasn't enjoying it as much as I wanted to. I was afraid of you, yeah, but for the wrong reasons, if that makes sense."

Laura looks at him, raising her eyebrow.

"Yeah, at first they were safety reasons. But…give me a break. You were _new, _and the introduction Wolverine—of all people—made for you—that didn't help. " He pauses. "Just a few months before that, he'd killed one of our teachers himself. Someone we students really liked. Well, not that _I _liked him all that much, but he was my old adviser…and a lot of kids liked him." He takes a breath. "They said it was mind-control…but I didn't know how that worked, back then."

Laura is silent.

"Anyways, after I saw you fight for us…after you saved my life a few times…Laura, I really don't think you're going to hurt me out of the blue. You've had plenty of chances."

"I could," Laura says. She closes her eyes. "There is a scent. A trigger scent. When I smell it, everything goes black…and when I wake, everyone is dead."

Silence.

"Well, that's not exactly comforting," Julian says.

Laura lowers her head. "You are not safe with me."

"I'm a lot safer with _you_ than a lot of the people on this island," he says. "I feel safer with you _around,_ nowadays." He pauses to consider this. "You make me feel safer than the teachers."

She doesn't raise her head. The argument is not over for her, but she is going to say nothing more, just like she said nothing, back in the day, when he'd scolded her for killing.

He's not concerned about winning right now.

"Laura…I want to make my point clear."

"And that is?" Laura asks. He tends to get too wordy. She both likes this fact, and is annoyed by it, simultaneously. It's scratching a scab; it hurts to itch it, but it feels satisfying.

"I don't want anyone else."

"Oh." Laura chances a glance at him. "What about—"

"No. Just you. I want _you._" He reaches out and brushes the back of his fingers against her cheek; he decides she still looks uncertain. "I'm going to show you."

"Okay." Laura hesitates. "What are you going to show me?"

"How much." He pulls her closer and drags her knees over his, so she is sitting diagonally across his lap, then they cease conversation for a while as he silently explores her curves, taking his time, unlike their first experience, which he wishes he could change. It's all she's ever known. He doesn't have experience to draw on himself, but he knows what he feels right now—and wants to convey to her—goes along a different train of thought, and requires a different method of expression.

"Mmph—" Laura draws away and reaches behind herself; he stops her. "No. I'll get it."

She hesitates, watching him, wondering what scenario he's playing at. Men usually approve of this move. Laura lets her fingers fall, and he gathers them somewhat in his hand, cupping the digits together, and then he just kisses her for a while. Laura doesn't have much experience in this. It feels good—every so often she opens her eyes to reassure herself that she is really here, now, doing _this_ with _him_.

After a while he moves along the line of her jaw to her ear, and she makes a high-pitched sound and pinches the lobe against her shoulder, wearing an involuntary expression of amusement. Julian takes this in for a moment; he's never seen Laura giggle, and he's amazed to find she is ticklish. How can she so easily have concealed this girlish side from him, for all the time he's known her?

"You're ticklish?" he asks.

Laura nods slightly. Her skin is covered in goose bumps.

He thinks, suddenly, that it never occurred for anyone to tickle her. They're all too afraid. No one even _touches _her, even pats on the shoulder, hugs, which the other students exchange so easily. He resumes his work, going lighter on her neck; she still twitches every now and then, almost unable to bear his touching the area.

Reaching around her front, he encounters her back closure—a few hooks—and sets to working on them with his mind. It's almost impossible since he can't see, and finally he allows her to undo the hooks. He peels away the top and tosses it on the floor beside the bed. Then he puts his hand against her stomach, twisting, and presses her slowly down to the bed, keeping an arm around her shoulders. And then he moves down.

**…**

Several minutes after finishing, Julian nudges the half-sleeping girl in his arms. "Was that okay?" he asks her. He knows it was, judging by the reactions, but he's interested to hear Laura talk about sex. Sometimes she's so clinical, and sometimes—rare sometimes—she's not, and he's determined to pull out the surprising answers she gives in-between.

"Rrrr," she says sleepily, like some sort of purr. He grins and pats her shoulder, then closes his eyes. No time like the present, even though he doesn't want to ruin this moment.

"Laura…there's something we need to talk about."

She stirs slightly, smiles vaguely.

"I know. About what you used to do."

Laura raises her head and looks at him, her lips parted. "What…"

"When you…did this…for money."

She sits up, her eyes wide. It's obvious she wasn't expecting this, and that she'd wanted to conceal this.

"I found out before we went to the hell dimension. Other stuff…kind of took priority. Like the fact that we were in _hell._"

Her face has gone pale. "I…"

"I've done a lot of thinking about it." Julian looks at her. "_Why?_That's what I want to know."

She looks uncertain. "I do not wish to discuss this."

"I do…and now that you're getting involved with me…I think it's fair that you tell me a bit about it. You could have given me diseases, you know."

"I didn't—"

"I know you didn't. My point is…you _could've. _I don't want secrets between us." He reaches up, lays the back of his hand against her shoulder, his forehead wrinkling. "You can ask _me_ anything, you know."

"I—" Laura looks down. She doesn't want to tell him about her past, but he's used the right approach, a combination of catching her off-guard, touch to remind her of the connection they had just shared, with the lure of more sharing. She _is _curious about him, and about why he sometimes does certain things.

"To be controlled," she says finally. "To be caged. I needed…to be owned."

"You needed Kimura."

Laura nods, her eyes flit up. "You won't—"

"I won't tell anyone." He pauses. "It's hard for me to understand why you would need that."

"Why?" Laura asks.

He takes a while to answer. "I've never known anyone like you. You're so…you do these amazing things, come from the most bizarre circumstances…but you never talk about it. I just see this smart, sexy and dangerous chick...and I can't imagine anyone owning you."

Laura watches him for a few moments, uncertain of what to say. She's flattered by his description of her, although it doesn't fit her mental image of herself—a caged creature in the dark—but doesn't know how to explain _why _she'd needed to be hurt. Finally, she speaks.

"My life…is pain. Was pain. Before…I didn't understand there _was_ a cell. I needed pain for time to pass, for me to know another day had gone by. And then…" she hesitates. The words come easier now, but should she share them? "I am told, here, that this is not how it works. But I know better. If I do not hurt, the day has not passed, and there is work to do. The cell still exists, but it's form has changed. The pain changes. When I was suddenly free of my cell, I was…afraid. I had to learn…that the cell is in me. I don't need someone else to inflict the pain." Her tone softens. "I can do it myself now."

Julian understands only a fraction of this. It's jumbled, and confused, and the words of a victim that is still in shock over a trauma, that is still coming to terms with the fact that _it wasn't their fault. _ He doesn't like where it leads, however; to somewhere dark, where he can't follow. Laura still thinks this way. What he understands is she needs to learn she does not need pain, and that the fault—the flaw—is not in her, but the hearts of her creators. His glimmer of understanding comes from something about the nights he'd stared at the ceiling of the infirmary and wondered why he wasn't good enough, why it was always _him _that lost in the end. _Good enough_, that's the question.

He pulls her close again, and kisses her hair.

"I don't care what you've done, in the past."

"Okay."

"All that matters is now, what we're doing." He rests his cheek against her hair. "I want to be your partner, Laura. So we can lean on each other, when things get hard. Do you want that?"

"Yes," Laura says into his chest.

"I'll always be here for you. Always. If someone bothers you again, tell me. Tell me and I'll fix it. Do this like I'm ordering you to do it. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good."

They fall silent, both wondering when they will lose the other. Eventually they drift off to a sleep plagued with separate dreams, about different kinds of hell.


	10. Chapter 10

**10- Chapter 10.  
**

* * *

Laura approaches the table full of kids, a week later, her nose twitching. She can already smell the slightly revolting scent of eggs and seafood, and feels discouraged about eating. She does, however, want to claim her empty  
seat beside the boy. Even though she hadn't understood everything that had transpired that night between them, she has felt…a sort of peace, a sense of tranquility whenever she is near him, caused by his presence.

"Crustacean omelet," she comments, peering over Julian's shoulder. Beside him, Loa glances at her.

"Hey, Laura," she says, easily.

"Hello." Laura reaches over and pokes her finger at Julian's untouched food, which he is staring at. The consistency is rubbery, and she watches it rebound from her touch.

"Food's hit a new low," he says. "I asked for cereal. I don't think those are even eggs."

"They are." Laura pauses, her keen eyes noting something. "I think one of the crustaceans are alive." She has caught sight of several minute legs moving in the egg, and flexing the zooming muscles in her iris, has confirmed this.

"…" Julian shoves the plate far away from himself. "Holy _shit,_ who the hell is cooking this?"

"I dunno, but they should be thrown overboard," Santo says, from the end of the table. "This is the crappiest cereal I've ever eaten. If it's not my cornpops, it at least better be pizza!"

Laura slips in beside the boy, and puts her hand on his knee, as has become routine. "Are there any wheat products?" she asks, meaning pastries.

"No." Julian leans on his elbows. "I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant."

"There is food right in front of you," she says.

"I want to see _you_eat that."

Laura wrinkles her nose, then nods and reaches for the plate. All eyes turn to her, as no one has dared to sample the disgusting concoction.

"I was _joking_," Julian says, watching in sick fascination as she picks up a fork and knife. "Seriously…we can go for breakfast somewhere else—"

She takes a bite, considers it, then reaches for a napkin and politely expels the sample, as she'd learned at her aunt's when she hadn't liked the food put on the table. "Where?" she asks him calmly.

"There's a IHOP near the harbor," Cessily speaks up, breaking the spell of fascinated horror Laura has created. "I saw it with Loa the other day."

"Last one there eats _this_," Julian says, extracting himself from the table. There is a scramble to go find Cyclops; he is located quickly, and almost overwhelmed with demands to allow them to visit the mainland to 'find real food'.

"Hepzibah worked _really_hard on that," Cyclops scolds, but then he smirks and tells them to be back by three in the afternoon (or at least to check in), as he hands out the holographic cloaking programs to students like Victor and Santo.

The boat going to the mainland is barely big enough to accommodate everyone, but they fit somehow.

**…**

Laura is squashed in the middle of a booth, a large plate full of waffles, eggs, sausage and hash browns before her. There is a lot of talking going on around her; no one talks to her, as they don't have anything to say, although Julian is involved  
in four different conversations (some from the booth behind him) as he works his way through pancakes with fruit, whipped cream and syrup, as well as a milkshake. Laura is surprised the other students can decipher what he is saying at times,  
since he is forced to talk with his mouth full. Their mouths are also full, so it makes for a confusing, unintelligible conversation.

"Ant ome?" he asks her suddenly.

Laura looks at him questioningly. He struggles to swallow. "Want some?" he manages, making a face of pain.

"Is it unpleasant?" Laura asks, raising her eyebrow. Judging by the faces he is making, she doesn't want any. He pounds the table with his fist, twice, and rubs his head. "No. Brainfreeze. _DAMN!_ No, it's good, want to try it?"

Laura remembers her cousin's similar reaction to cold foods, and smiles slightly. "Okay." She takes the offered glass and takes a sip through the straw; she makes a favorable expression and has more, then tries to hand it back to him.

"I've got a refill coming. You can finish it," he says. He leans over and kisses her cheek, lightly.

_**"GET A ROOM!" **_Santo bellows from the other table. Julian rolls his eyes. "It's almost like he's _watching _us," he mumbles. "Otherwise…how the hell does he manage to catch us every time?"

"It's Santo," Cessily says flatly. "He's big, he's dumb, he interrupts every private moment and picks on every flaw…and he's a traitor, to boot. I used to like him because he was loyal. But now…"

"Yeah," Julian mumbles. "Things haven't been the same since Brian…and, well…" He doesn't say Kevin's name, but Cessily looks as if he has. She directs her eyes to the table.

"If you ever want to talk…" Julian says, putting his hand on her shoulder with a kind of _slap! _"Oops, sorry. Still getting used to this thing."

Cessily smiles weakly. "Thanks. Maybe someday." She looks up again, and studies her friend. "I'm happy for _you, _at least. I've been waiting for this for a long time." Her eyes move to Laura, who has just taken too large of swallow of the  
milkshake herself, and is making a horrible face, complete with tears.

"Wow," Julian says, distracted. "Glad I can take her places."

"How _are_things, Laura?" Cessily asks.

After a few moments, the girl responds. "I am…well."

"Is Julian treating you well?" Cessily prods.

"_Hey!_" he says indignantly.

Laura is not certain how to respond to this, so she nods slightly.

"If he ever disappoints, you let me know. I'll kick his butt for you." Cessily grins.

"I'm sitting _right here,_" Julian says. "Besides, I really doubt she'd need help to do that. Not that _either_of you could, of course."

"You are overconfident. I could kill you almost by accident." Laura realizes what she has said, and covers her mouth. The table falls silent for a moment, and many disturbed pairs of eyes turn to her. Then Cessily begins to laugh. She finds this  
hilariously funny, especially given the girl's flat, serious tone; the next few minutes are spent trying to decipher what she is trying to say between gasps of air.

When they are finished eating, the children pair off into groups, still having a few hours left before they need to check in. Cessily and Loa join them in the parking lot, along with Santo, surprisingly. Julian gives him a questioning look.

"There were waffles," Santo grumbles. "With strawberry syrup."

"He's so _loyal,_" Cessily comments.

"Dude, my priorities were different before we were locked up on that island!" he protests. "And they started lettin' the alien cook sea critters as our food staple. It's a lot harder to be loyal on an empty stomach!"

"You're contradicting yourself," Loa points out.

"No I ain't!" Santo jams his large hands in his pockets. "So what we doin'? I'm _bored_."

"We invited you?" Julian asks.

"Yeah. We're old buddies." Santo sighs. "Oh come on. I have to get on the X welcome wagon if I want to hang with my pals? That's the way it is? What about our years of friendship?"

"I dunno, you tell me," Julian says.

"I don't give two shits about X, to be honest," Santo says. "She's creepy, but hey, she can't even kill me. Nori's the one with the big flamin' grudge. Cyclops also _listens _when she makes a suggestion to bring in some real food. He laughs in _my _face."

"It's up to you," Julian says, and Laura realizes, with a start, that he is talking to her.

"Do you mind if he's with us, Laura?" Cessily asks.

"No," Laura says.

"Great." Julian rubs his hand against her lower back.

"So?" Santo demands.

"Uh…" Cessily thinks.

"I need new headphones," Loa says.

Cessily brightens. "SHOPPING! You're a genius, Al. Let's go!"

"No shopping!" Santo says. "Wait, is Rockband III out yet?"

"Think so," Julian says. He looks excited for a moment, then it fades. "Oh."

"Hands?" Santo grunts.

"Money." Julian eyes his friend. "I've got like ten bucks. You?"

"Two." Santo looks put out. "God _damn_it!"

"I have money," Laura speaks up.

All eyes turn to her.

"I wouldn't want to take your money," Julian says. "Rockband's like two hundred dollars."

"I have approximately two hundred thousand dollars," Laura says. "I also have some investments. The purchase would not cause me financial hardship."

The kids stare at her.

"Have I said something wrong?" Laura asks finally, to Julian, with puzzled eyes.

"Where'd you get it?" Julian asks.

"Employment. And my mother. She…willed it to me." Laura pauses. "Logan also gives me an allowance."

"Does he know you're that rich?" Santo blurts.

"I am not rich." Laura protests. "I am saving."

"…for?" Julian asks.

"One day I may want it." She smiles slightly. "Would you like to borrow the money?"

"Uh…" Julian rubs his neck.

_**"YES!"**_ Santo bellows. "Dude, you'd be like my best friend _ever!_"

"Beast _did_ say I should play video games. For my hands, you know," Julian says.

"Let's _go!_" Cessily snaps.

**…**

Santo refuses to let go of the Rockband box as Laura pays for it, embracing it in a bear hug, his expression one of complete and utter contentment.

"I think you've got yourself a friend for life there," Julian murmurs to her as she hands over her credit card, smiling at the clerk. He takes her wallet from the counter and studies her ID. A driver's license, several credit cards, a checkbook,  
and a few store cards, all bearing the name 'Laura Howlett'.

Outside the store, he takes her aside. "I thought your name was Kinney."

"It is." Laura pauses. "Logan helped me create an identity, by adopting me. So the facility could not track me so easily. It is not foolproof, but if I do not use it too often, it will not be noticed." She pauses. "He also assisted me in investing  
my money wisely."

He looks at her carefully. "Are you planning for the future? Like, kids?"

"I don't know." Laura smiles at him, slightly, and he gives her an uneasy smile of his own. He's never really thought about the future for himself; only that he wants to make it big, and be recognized. He wonders if she actually has a fantasy  
so normal and girlish such as having a house, and children.

"I prefer to be prepared. In case the X-men dissolve again, I would like to be able to fund my own expenditures, and work as a mercenary, not _for_someone else. I am…trying to break away from being a weapon that is owned by others."

So much for that thought. He kisses her lightly.

"_**JEEZ!**_ Every time I look at you!" Santo barks, exiting the store.

"Don't look at us, then," Julian comes back.

"So…what are we waiting for? We got the Rockband, let's head back," Santo says.

"We need to find the others first," Julian reminds him. "Laura, can you track them?"

"If we go back to the food court, yes," Laura says.

After a few minutes they find Cessily and Alani in a _Claire's _outfit, looking at jewelry. Laura peers in their shopping basket, and picks up a small bottle of color. She looks at Cessily questioningly. She had seen the bottles on Megan's dresser, but  
had not been with her long enough to see it used.

"Nail polish," she says. "For your nails. Oh, Laura, you should get some!" She pulls the girl to a rack full of colors and starts pulling them out, telling her what she should go with, as Julian and Santo glance at each other edgily.

"Look, we should meet the others," Julian says. "I've got some assignments, so does Santo."

"Fine," Cessily says. She pulls a kit off the rack and hands it to Laura. "That'll be great, it's got everything you need for starters…even comes with a few primary colors."

Laura peers into the kit, then follows the girls to the register. Cessily ends up purchasing the kit for the girl, telling her she owes her a birthday present.

"What?" Julian asks, overhearing. "When is it?"

"I was delivered on November 7," Laura says.

Julian relaxes. There's plenty of time to think about what he should do. He should do _something, _seeing as it's his responsibility now; he decides to talk to Cessily about it. For now he's got to concentrate on getting the girls out of the store.

At the dock, an hour later, the group is waiting for the boat to be ready when they are approached by a few of the rough-looking men that are clearly working for the FoH.

"He with you?" one grunts, looking at Santo, who is still wearing an image inducer.

"Yeah," Julian says.

"You them kids from that island?" he asks, his sandy voice growing louder.

"No," Laura says. "We're here on a field trip."

"Where's your teacher?" the man demands.

"In the office, signing papers," Julian says. They have a pre-arranged lie to tell if they are caught by this group, and questioned. "Not that it's your business."

"Hrrrmmmm," the man grunts. He lifts his rifle up and moves to poke Santo in the ribs; it hits his rocky exterior about a foot beyond the image.

He raises his eyebrows. "How bout that, son."

"Er," Julian says.

The man puts his hand into his pocket. Laura reacts before he can withdraw it, suspecting either a communication device or a weapon. She swings her knee into his groin and brings her elbow down on his head in one move, causing him to  
crumple to the ground. She is about to draw her foot claw against his throat, then stops herself. The others will not understand, and Cyclops would not approve.

"Shit," Julian says, looking around. There are more men approaching, many more. Surrounding the group of students. Behind them is water.

"I say we kick their _asses,_" Nori says, electricity crackling around her. "You _know_you want to, Keller."

"Sounds like a plan," Julian says, grinning. "They don't stand a chance."

"No." Laura looks strained. "Cyclops—"

"Fuck Cyclops! Do _you_ do everything you're ever told?" Nori asks her, then pauses. "Oh wait, yeah, you _do._ You even kill when told. Well, clone…_fetch! Kill!_"

Julian glares at her. "Hey, Ashida, you might want to shut up. Before I make you."

"Oh come on. We're in the middle of a fight," Nori says. "Defend _us_ and worry about your pet girlfriend later."

Suddenly Julian picks up the students, all twenty of them, and raises a shield as the FoH begin to fire their weapons.

"Let us _go! _Asses need kickin'!" Santo yells.

_**"KELLER!**_ Put me down _**THIS INSTANT!"**_Nori shouts.

There are other complaints. Julian ignores them and sweeps towards Utopia, dragging the students behind him (Nori he drops underwater). As they land, she comes up sputtering and covered with seaweeds—and looking quite furious.

"You—fucking—piece—of—_**SHIT!**_" She screams the last part, and a lightning bolt roars towards him; Laura sees it coming. She has been just watching the situation escalate, but now she acts, shoving him out of the bolt's way. It hits her and  
she's down, her flesh scorched and skin melting under the heat.

"What—" Julian picks himself up, and stares at Laura, horrified. She pushes herself up from the ground, wincing, and her flesh slowly smoothening out, although her hair remains frizzled.

Nori stands stock still, her face very pale. The kids have fallen silent, uncertain of what to say. Everyone knows she has overstepped her bounds, and the bolt probably would have killed him, or at least damaged him, if he couldn't react in time.

It had come very fast.

She turns and runs towards the main building, towards the dorms, and nobody stops her.

"Daa-yumn," Santo says, still hugging his game box. "Hey, ya think the electricity was bad for my Rockband?"

"Oh, _god, _Santo, you're such a jerk," Cessily moans. "This is really serious."

"Rockband's really serious! And yeah holy fuck! She nearly killed X!"

"I am alright." Laura reaches up and tries to smooth her frizzled hair.

"Want me to go beat her up?" Santo offers. "I owe ya."

"No."

"Good, coz I really want to go plug this baby in," Santo says. He notices Cessily's glare. "Geez, look…X is fine. I don't think it's great she got zapped, but—"

"I am going to _kill _Nori," Julian announces suddenly, as he marches towards the dorms.

"Uh-oh," Cessily says.

"No!" Laura follows him. "The X-men do not kill. You told me this yourself."

"This is different—" Julian tries to say.

"We will tell Cyclops," Laura says firmly. "Do not pursue her. I am ordering you to _stand down._"

"You can't—" Julian says, but he stops. "Fine," he says a few moments later, his eyes looking towards the dorms bitterly. Laura suspects he is saying this to appease her, and will go later.

She trades worried glances with Cessily, who is nearby and watching him with the same worried expression.


	11. Chapter 11

**11- Chapter 11.**

* * *

"Pretty sure it's the girl," the man murmurs. "Right height, right build. Black hair, green eyes. Claws. And she was near a mouthy telekinetic boy."

The woman sitting opposite him raises her perfectly maintained eyebrows. "That's too good to be true," she says, then smiles. "I'm going to have to plan this out. This is too big to rush."

"So you'll clear the mutie infestation on that goddamn island?"

The woman makes a face. "Hell no. This is _personal. _And I'm not stupid enough to take on _all_ the X-men at once." She pauses. "My boss reckons it's a constant supply. A breeding farm."

"I thought you were your own boss now."

"Woops," she says, smiling slightly. "I am. I'm a mercenary…but there are people who will pay for that kind of thing. Like I said…this is personal, between me and the girl. I owe her for something she did to me a bit ago. I owe her a whole lot."

"I told you because I thought you would clear the island," he says. "_One_of them isn't going to help." He smiles at her. "There is a man, with a large gun, and a scope, on the rooftop across the street. He is waiting for my signal. If I—"

She answers by reaching forwards, taking his hair in her hand and smashing his face into the plate in front of him. The few people sitting on the patio with them let out screams and stumble to get out of their chairs, watching in horror as the man weakly raises his face again, blood dripping from the lacerations his broken glasses have caused him. "—_hurrk,_" he says, the good eye seeing that the woman has picked up her drinking glass. She

_SMASH! _As she brings it down on the edge of the table, creating a jagged edge. She tilts his head back, her hand still in his hair, then draws the edge down his face. To his throat.

"Think this is signal enough?" she says. She slits his throat, just as the shot rushes towards her. It hits her in the head.

"ARRGH!" She arches her back, catches herself with her hands on the table. "Stupid…" she reaches for her communication device.

"The Breadbox," she murmurs, looking at the building where the shot had come from. "Roof. Right corner. Bullet hit me from 3 o' clock."

"_I killed him as soon as he shot you,"_comes the reply.

"…" the woman closes her eyes. "Why did you _wait?_"

_"I thought it would be funny."_

"I _hate_ you, Wilson. I'm fucking serious, I will rip your balls off and shove them down your throat."

"_That's the first action I've seen in months! Can you do that thing where—" _

"GRR!" the woman crushes the communicator. "Fuck." She hangs her head for a second longer, then heads back into the restaurant just as the Police pull up outside, sirens blazing.

A moment later the cops barge in. "_**FREEZE!" **_the officer bellows. The woman studies him for a moment. He's young, and he looks terrified as he points his gun at her. "Hands in the _**AIR, **_where I can _**SEE **_them. _**NOW!**_"

"Sweetie…why would you even _try_ to approach me without a SWAT team?"

The policeman stares at her, cocks his gun and puts his hand on the trigger.

She reaches into her belt. He shoots her in the chest, near her heart; the bullet bounces off her skin, and she pulls a grenade out of her belt, then approaches him as he stares at her, realizing he is going to die.

"I'll give you two options. The first is you take that shiny gun you seem to be so proud of, and shoot yourself in the head. The second is I force-feed you this grenade."

The officer thinks for a moment.

She puts her finger in the pin's loop and begins to pull. He looks at the restaurant around them, sees a family staring at him, with a toddler in a high chair, who smiles and reaches towards him.

"You wouldn't," he says. "There's children here."

"Oh, I _love_ kids!" she says. "I have a history of taking care of one. Here, I'll show you how much kids mean to me." She moves over to the toddler; the father lungs at her with his fork as she coos at the child, pulling the grenade pin and shoving the father away with her elbow. She gives the grenade to the child, who giggles and automatically begins to suck on it.

_**KA-BLAMMMMMMM! **_

"Oh, shit!" the man on the rooftop says, watching the restaurant explode in a flurry of orange gold flames. His mask twists as he frowns deeply. "Guess this means I'm not getting paid. I wonder if she has any family who—"

He peers into the flames more closely, then sees a woman emerge, brushing off her shredded clothes with an expression of displeasure.

"_**UP HERE KIMURA!" **_he shouts enthusiastically, waving his red gloved hand.

"Idiot," Kimura says to herself.

**…**

Laura is sitting by the desk, the pots of paint and other accessories that Cessily bought her strewn about. There is a terrible smell permeating the air, or at least to Laura's delicate nose there is. She is painting her nails with an opaque black color, having decided that it is more practical. Out of all the colors, it will help to hide dirt, especially blood. She also likes the effect.

Julian is watching her from the bed. He's supposed to be studying, but he's obviously not, as the book is lying open on his stomach, flat, and his eyes are on her.

"Come here," he says after a minute.

"I can't," Laura replies. "I am busy."

He reaches out, and the paint pot flies to his hand. "I want to try it," he says. "See if I can hold the brush. Here, lie on the bed."

"You might get paint on it."

"Don't care. Lie down."

She hesitates, then gets off the chair, and moves to the bed, sitting beside him. He pulls up his legs so he is sitting cross-legged, and pulls her half-completed hand onto his knee, then dips the brush in the paint. "Should be able to do this," he murmurs.

Laura tilts her head, watching as he gently draws the brush down her nail. The paint is cold, and the sensation is strange. His control is quite good, considering it's only been a month since his hands were replanted on his wrists. In fact, much better than it should be.

Beast had been stunned at how fast Julian was healing, and had finally discovered that his routing the telekinesis through his limb to guide it had essentially caused this. Every time he sent a thought through to his fingers, nerves were telekinetically reconnected far better than a micro surgeon could ever accomplish. Even the smallest nerves were being repaired internally.

Julian had been prescribed another set of exercises, which involved using his TK to lift weights, with stress on the fact that he alternate hands (and combat his natural tendency to use his left one). This also applies to everyday use. Otherwise he could end up with one good hand and one bad one. If he follows the orders, and is consistent, Beast thinks he will make a full recovery, and that eventually his hands will be as they were before the accident.

"Don't tell anyone I'm doing this," Julian says after a moment, as he finishes her left hand. She lifts her hand and studies the effect; it is visually pleasing. She smiles slightly.

"Other hand," he says. She lays it down on his lap, holding the other in the air. The package had warned to do so for about ten minutes.

"I'm pretty good at this," he says, after about three minutes have passed. "Too bad I'm a guy, huh?"

"Why?" Laura asks.

"Guys don't do stuff like this." He grins. "We like sports, and video games, and wrestling. Not girly things, like bubble baths and painting your nails."

"But you are painting mine."

"Well, I like it. I just don't want other guys knowing that." He pauses. "They'd think it's weird."

_Unnatural behavior. _Laura understands this desire to fit in.

"I like that you are male," Laura says, in answer to his original suggestion.

He grins again. "Me too." He pauses. "It's kind of nice that you're a girl. I guess it could have gone the other way, if that sample they made you from hadn't been damaged, right?"

Laura pauses. She has not thought much about this. She was even _made_from a damaged sample. This is another indication of how inadequate she is; but Julian didn't intend for the comment to be taken that way. She nods. "Yes." She pauses. "Would you have still…liked me?"

"Not like I do now." He dips the brush in the paint jar again. "Probably would have been your friend…but I don't swing that way, Laura."

"'Swing that way?'" she asks.

"Not gay."

"Oh." She tilts her head, watching his downturned face as he concentrates on her hand. Her eyes focus on his mouth, which is a little open, and suddenly she realizes she _is_glad the sample was damaged. If things had been any other way, she would not be experiencing what she is able to now.

Julian glances up and catches her gaze. He smiles; she smiles, then she leans forwards and kisses him. She begins to wrap her hands around his neck, but he grabs her wrists, holding the paint jar with his mind.

"Mmph. Still wet. Give it a few minutes."

"Okay," Laura says, but she is impatient. She shifts.

"Could do your toes meanwhile. Lie down," he instructs.

She complies, and watches as he proceeds to paint the nails black, bringing her toes into definition. After finishing, he sets the pot aside and takes her right foot in his hands. Then he starts to rub it, first the heel, then the forefoot, then his thumb works its way into the arch. Laura presses her head into the pillows and makes a small sound as he works on the area, feeling a tingling work its way up her body, on the same nerve pathway as some very sensitive areas.

"Good?" he asks her, raising his eyebrows.

Laura nods, and smiles dreamily.

He continues to work on her foot, then does the other one, judging the success of his efforts by the reception of tiny sounds he receives, and he notes that she is starting to breathe more heavily. He tests her nails for dryness, then he reaches up, under her skirt, and hooks his fingers into her underwear and pulls them down her legs and off. He spreads her knees, pushing her legs up and out.

Laura watches him as he hikes her skirt up around her waist and then runs his fingers over the insides of her legs. She feels his thumbs travel down the middle of her bottom, and she closes her eyes at the sensation, almost trembling at his touch. Even though they have been intimate a few times now, she still has trouble believing that it is really him causing the sensations. She likes to watch him, to reassure herself that he's actually there.

Everywhere he touches tingles. He dips his little finger inside of her, spreading upwards. Then he begins, sliding his thumb inside and pressing down as he rubs something between two fingers. The sensation is gentle and teasing, not overwhelming, as Laura has experienced several times, with clients in the past. He seems to have an instinctive knack for what she will like.

She feels her insides tighten and she starts to breathe heavier, very quickly; he replaces his thumb with several fingers and pushes them in, as deeply as he can reach, rubbing the fingertips across something that pushes her over the edge. As she convulses inside, he keeps moving, and it grows in intensity. She arches her back and makes a growling sound.

_**SPOOING! **_Julian stares at the claws imbedded in his mattress.

"Well, I guess you liked it," he says, pulling his fingers out slowly. Laura pants for a moment, then retracts her claws. "I am…sorry," she says.

"It's just a mattress." He grins. "I rate how good a job I've done by the number of claws you pop."

Laura smiles in return. He sits up, then works his way up her body and kisses her deeply, his hands finding hers and rubbing them. She looks up and notices that his fingertips are glowing; the tingling sensation makes sense now.

"I've got something I want to try," he murmurs, as they part momentarily.

"What?" she asks, still breathing heavily. He props himself to his elbows and begins to roll up the hem of her t-shirt, sliding his hands underneath and brushing his fingertips against the underside of her breasts.

"You'll see." He pauses. "It involves my powers…and my dick."

…

"Did you get the expansion pack?" Victor asks Santo, as he leans against the side of the dorm wall.

"You know it. I bet you play mean bass, dude."

"How you figure?"

"Your arm," Santo says. "That thing's gotta produce some fuckin' awesome chords."

"Maybe," Victor says.

"So you're in?"

"Sure. When?"

"Tonight, at—"

_**SNKKT! **_Two claws burst through the metal siding, on either side of Victor's neck.

"_**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_" Victor screams, in pure terror. The claws retract.

_**"X IS TRYING TO KILL YOU! I KNEW IT!"**_Santo bellows.

About a minute later, Julian peers around the corner. "You guys okay?" he asks, his eyes wide.

Santo and Victor stare at him.

"Your girlfriend just tried to _stab _him in the neck!" Santo accuses.

Laura's head appears, around Julian's bare shoulder. The hem of the t-shirt he was wearing earlier is visible, which on her falls down just past her hips. "I am…sorry," she says. Her cheeks are red, with what appears to be embarrassment.

"_**YOU TRIED TO STAB ME IN THE NECK! YOU CRAZY—**_" Victor yells, having regained his senses.

"Uhh, it was an accident," Julian says. "Sorry, Vic."

"…" Victor glares at him.

"Yes…it was un…intentional," Laura reiterates, a little slowly.

Santo looks at the pair. "_**GROSS!**_" he yells. "_**HOLY SHIT! **_I did _**NOT**_ want to think about that! _**TMI! TMI! GOD!**_"

He stomps off, fuming. Victor shoots them a final glare and follows his friend.

"Damn." Julian turns back to the girl. "Need me to carry you back, too?"

Laura leans against him and nods. Then they exchange smiles.

**…**

"Dude, I'm _counting _on you guys!" Santo barks suddenly, making both jump slightly. They are sitting on the couch, watching TV; they had started with sitting apart, their backs ramrod straight—as they were still a little uncertain about public displays of affection—but had ended up curled together, with Julian propped up on the arm rest, and Laura using him as a body pillow. Santo is now looming over the back of the sofa, peering at them.

"Wha—" Julian asks. He'd nodded off slightly.

"Rockband!" Santo says enthusiastically. "You're my second guitar." He looks at Laura. "She can be a groupie," he adds. "You already _act_like one, anyways."

"No way. She gets a real part." Julian sits up slightly.

"But I wanna go all the way! Get us in the top-ranking competition games again! And she ain't played before."

The boys look at Laura, who blinks.

"Vocals are _out,_man," Santo warns him. "No one wants to hear a robot sing."

"Shut up!" Julian says automatically, but he secretly agrees that Laura probably wouldn't do very well on this area. She's far too technical.

"She can audition, then," Santo says. "I've told all the other kids. I need vocals, and a drummer."

"She _bought_ you the game," Julian points out. "Isn't that an automatic spot?"

Santo glares at him. "X, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. But I wanna get the best band out there, and you're not rock star material."

"It's a freaking video game, Santo," Julian says. "And we'd be competing with basement nerds."

"Then we're already the best, aren't we?" Santo grins. "Seven, in the rec room. _DON'T BE LATE!_"

He leaves, and Julian rolls his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry about him, alright?"

"Why?" Laura asks. "He wants to ensure his group is the best at what they do. It is perfectly reasonable."

"He's being a jerk," Julian explains, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "If he doesn't let you play, I won't either. I'm sick of watching you get cut out of things."

He starts to stroke his hand down her hair, and she closes her eyes, like a kitten.

**…**

That evening, several kids gather in the rec room, to try out for Santo's Rockband group. Laura watches as Match finishes the drum sequence, and Santo says he'll consider him (and he is very critical; he judges based on the score the player receives when finished).

_**"NEXT!"**_Santo bellows. Pixie approaches, smiling. "I want to sing!" she says.

Moments later everyone is trying not to wince, in politeness. The most horrible, off-tune sound in the world is coming out of the small, winged girl. She stresses the wrong tones, and a glance at the screen shows Laura how the game works. It is related to the pitch of the voice; the player is supposed to create a sound at the same moment a colored bar passes through a counter in the game.

Pixie's doing it all wrong. She's singing something about 'genies in bottles' and 'rubbing her the right way'. But it is clear she is being rubbed the wrong way, by the sounds she is making.

"I wish to leave," Laura murmurs.

"We _all_ do," Julian says. "Jesus Christ…" he rubs his ears, then looks at Pixie, and the girl suddenly makes a loud shriek of protest as he holds her jaw shut mentally. "That's _enough,_" he says.

"…" Pixie throws down the microphone and starts making sounds that are probably insults, but are unintelligible due to her fused jaw. At that moment, Nori walks in. She takes in the yelling girl, Julian's glowing eyes, and grins.

"I agree a hundred and ten percent, Megan," she says.

"No one asked you. Why are you even _here?_" he demands.

Silence throughout the room. Nori has kept to herself for a bit, probably embarrassed about her outburst in which she'd nearly hurt Julian. As angry as she was, even she realizes she can't do things like that and still be accepted on the island.

"Santo was saying something about Rockband," Nori says. "Thought I'd try for drummer."

"_**HELL YES!**_" Santo says. "_Dude…super speed drums!" _

Julian glares at him. "No freakin' way!"

"BUT—" Santo looks desperate. "Just forgive her already, man!"

"She tried to kill me!"

"Who gives a fuck!"

"_**I **_kind of do!" Julian yells back, astonished.

"Guys—" Nori holds up her hand, looks down. "Look. Keller, I…I didn't mean to hit you _that hard. _I asked Beast about it…my gauntlets shorted out in the water. And salt water's not that great of a dampener for electricity. It's actually a conductor, a really strong one."

"She is correct," Laura pipes up.

"I'm still pissed you would take a shot at me, Ashida," Julian says. "I thought we were past the immature stage. You know, since we're devoting all our energy to staying _alive, _and all."

"You used your powers first!" Nori says, her voice rising. She pauses. "Let's just…call it even, ok? We can't avoid each other forever."

Julian's silent a moment. "I guess," he says finally.

_**"DRUMMER'S FILLED!"**_Santo bellows, startling everyone. Several kids make faces, and leave the room. "Alright…so Cess…and X still has to go. For vocals."

"_She's_ trying to sing?" Nori asks.

"Yeah," Julian says, his face daring her to comment.

Cessily emerges from the corner of the room, smiles and picks up the microphone. "I'll choose something easy. How about…" she picks an old Beatle's song, and is surprisingly pretty good, although her voice wavers in parts. Her score is in the 70's, which impresses Santo.

"I'd say you're it," he says. "X is gonna be a joke."

"Shut up," Julian says. He glances at Laura. "If they say mean things, don't listen. It's just for fun."

Laura approaches the gaming system warily and picks up the microphone, scanning the list. She has heard a few of these songs in bars with Logan before; the 'preview' of the songs are the same. She selects one called 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'. The screen loads, and she thinks back to her memory of the song. She keeps unconscious logs of all details about her environment; sounds, smells, tastes, actions; this was ingrained in her through torture methods at a very early age. She closes her eyes and opens her mouth as the sound starts; five minutes and one second later, she opens them again, and looks at Santo.

"Will that suffice?" she asks.

Silence. All eyes are glued to her, and the 100 score flashing on the screen.

Finally Santo speaks. "Dude…I I think she just stole Cobain's trademark song," he says, to Julian, who is also watching her, his forehead wrinkled. No one can figure out how Laura has suddenly managed to grasp a concept so far out of her reach as to translate emotion into sound. Also, her voice is quite amazingly sonorous and perfectly pitched, as is evidenced by the score on the screen.

"Well…I officially withdraw _my_audition," Cessily says. "Laura, I didn't know you liked music!"

"I don't," Laura says.

Silence.

"…huh?" Santo asks.

"What the hell was that, then?" Julian asks, also stumped.

"I can accurately reproduce sounds I have heard before," Laura says. "I received training, for infiltrating voice-activated security systems. This recording played in an establishment Logan took me to on June 21. He was watching a football game between the Chicago Bears and the Seattle Seahawks while this played in the background."

"Well, you can have the job," Santo says. "Fuck being in the top _ranking_…we're going for the _**TOP TEN!**_"

The selected people play several games on their instruments, Julian sitting out because they are short a guitar. Then people start to yawn. By now it is getting late, so the teens filter out of the rec room, towards the dorms.

"You're full of surprises," Julian says, as they approach the dividing hallway. He hesitates, thinking about asking her to come to his room again, then stays quiet, thinking that he does not want to act clingy. Laura notes his silence and feels disappointed, but says nothing; he must have a reason to not want to do that. She smiles at him.

"Goodnight," she says.

"Night." He leans over and kisses her on the cheek, then they part ways.


	12. Chapter 12

**12- Chapter 12.**

* * *

"I'm going to want a room," the woman says, fingering a stack of crisp bills. "One of the soundproof ones. No disturbances, no questions asked."

The man at the desk eyes the money, and smiles. "You are a business woman, and you know what you want."

"I am, and I do," she says.

"Do you need a model as well? We have several new ones. Untouched. Both male and female, whatever your preference. They—"

"I don't need anyone." She pauses. "I'll be here on Saturday night, and I'll be bringing friends."

The man raises his eyebrows. "Need I remind you that we have a no-death policy?"

She rolls her eyes, reaches over the counter and grabs him by the collar, pressing a finger against his forehead. "_Look,_ fuckwad, I'll give you that money there, _and_ let you keep your balls. I won't even stab my _finger_ in your _brain_. If you don't get nosy. How's _that_ for a deal?"

"Ex-x-c-ceptional," the man stammers, feeling the strength of her hands, and a cut already forming on his head, where her finger is pressing in. She must be a mutant.

"You should know that the pigs couldn't take me, anyways." She reaches over, picks up his cell phone from the desk between them—crushes it with her fingers in a shower of sparks—then gives it to him.

"Understood," the man says, his bald head covered with a sheen of sweat. "What time?"

"I'll get here when I get here. You _hold it for me, _got it?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good." She smiles at him, tucks the money in his shirt pocket, blows him a kiss and leaves, thinking of how she'll disembowel him anyway on Saturday.

**…**

"Laura."

The girl stiffens from where she is leaning on the railing, looking out across the water. She is not ready to talk to him yet, not after what has transpired. And she'd thought neither was _he, _based on how he'd been avoiding her. Yet here he is, leaning against the patio doorway, arms folded, cowboy hat tipped forwards; she can see from the corner of her eye.

She doesn't answer.

"Kid, I—"

"I do not want to talk with you," Laura says.

"Dammit, we can't play games forever," Logan says. "This is a small island, and we're family. We're all the family we've _got._"

"No." Laura looks at him now. "I have 'other' family. I do not need someone who is not there for me…who makes deals with demons to escape his own circumstances."

Logan glares at her. "You little—you really think I'm that selfish?"

"Yes." Laura returns his glare with a cool look.

After a moment, Logan's eyes widen. "You think this is about _her._"

Laura says nothing. He means his new girlfriend.

"It's—kid, yer diggin' into some mighty personal territory, and I don't feel I need to share it with you." He straightens. "But that don't mean you can keep brushing me off."

"It offered me what I wanted," Laura says.

Logan eyes her.

"I said I would rather _earn _it," she continues. "I am ashamed to be the clone of a man who would choose otherwise. Excuse me."

"_**LAURA!**_" he snaps, grabbing her wrist as she passes him. "This had _nothin' _to do with her! Yer makin' assumptions that aren't yers to make." He pauses. "Don't let yer frustration over yer own life turn into jealousy over others' happiness, Laura. I been there. Me and Cyke…_we_ almost couldn't be in the same room, at one point."

"Let go of me," Laura orders. He releases her wrist. "You gonna talk to me, kid?"

"No."

Logan watches her leave, then leans on the railing himself, smoking a cigar. "Teenagers," he murmurs, to no one in particular, as he rubs his forehead.

**…**

"…zzzzZZZZzzzzz…" Julian snoring softly, his head bent at an awkward angle, as Laura has unconsciously pushed him off the pillow, inch by inch. Her blank, peaceful expression wavers every few moments; she kicks slightly in her sleep. She is dreaming.

She is dreaming that she is running down a corridor. Behind her is the sound of footsteps, and a buzz saw. Kimura's scent fills her nostrils. She turns a corner, and reaches a dead end. A dead end with doors on all sides. She begins to open them frantically, seeking escape.

The first door reveals Wolverine, standing face to face with the demon—Kimura—and they are talking. _Were _talking. They turn their heads to look at her, in unison, and smile widely. She slams the door shut, moves to the next. Opening it reveals the lab room full of trigger scent. _TRIGGER 42, _the glass containers read, the contents full of bubbles. She slams this door shut too, her heart pounding. The next door reveals herself, kneeling beside Julian, who lies on the floor, lifelessly. Two of the other Laura's fingers touch his cheek. She looks down. There is a lot of blood; it pools around the tips of her boots, rippling, then recedes, like the tide of a wave. She looks up again, and meets her own eyes. "Trigger," both versions of Laura whisper. She backs out and shuts the door firmly.

The next door seems okay for a moment, opening to Utopia's outside, but then she sees Julian, in the distance, his arms wrapped around Nori. She slams this door too.

"Like Goldilocks," she hears Kimura's voice croon. "Can't choose one, can you?"

Laura tears open the last door. Before her are more than a dozen bodies. Actually, Laura knows exactly how many. "Twenty-seven innocent people. Twelve of them women, and two boys, ages thirteen and fifteen." Captain America is standing beside her, displaying the mess. "Each victim was cut and/or stabbed in either the brain stem, jugular or aorta with incredible precision and efficiency."

She blinks. She looks down; she is wearing the leg braces again, her hair plaited in neat braids, thick glasses obscuring her vision. Her claws are extended and dripping with blood.

"You'll do fine," her mother's voice whispers to her, nervously. "You'll do just…just as we've taught you."

"ENOUGH!" Rice barks. "She's a _weapon, _not your daughter. And this isn't her first day of school. Kimura, get her—"

But she can't see them. She's standing at the top of the hill on Utopia now.

"Eighty four mutants. Forty females, nineteen teenagers, one robot, and a bodiless brain."

A stopwatch is pressed into her hands. It displays 22:00. She looks up at Captain America, but he is now Andrew Rice, his throat and nose still bleeding, from when she'd killed him.

"Hyuk…heh…heh…" Rice says. He grins. "…Can't…kill…auh…me…"

Laura snaps.

"_**ANIMAL!**_" She screams, plunging her claws into his stomach. She opens her eyes, and she is sitting up in bed, her claws extended into air. There is a _thump! _at the other edge of the bed, then Julian looks over, just his fingertips and his head down to his eyes showing. The latter are very wide.

"Are you awake now?" he asks in a small voice.

Laura feels embarrassed. "Yes," she says, looking away. She realizes her claws are still extended, and retracts them, tossing her hair out of her face. She is now in a bad mood.

"So you're _not_ going to stab me then." Julian says.

Laura whips her head in his direction and gives him a look that could peel wallpaper.

"I'm just clarifying things," he says. "Because I _really _thought you were going to."

"You _know_ I would not," Laura says. "Unless I smelled trigger scent."

Silence.

"Do you smell it now?" Julian asks, still not moving.

"If I did, you would be dead."

"That's not exactly comforting."

"You are making me _want_ to kill you."

"Jesus, don't say that!" Julian withdraws his fingers from the edge of the bed.

Making an irritated noise, Laura extracts herself from the structure, stretches, and heads for the door.

"No, wait. I'm…sorry." Julian pauses a moment, then straightens. "I'm just a little jumpy about getting hurt again. Things have been going too good, you know?"

Laura studies him, from the door. "Yes." She hesitates. "I should leave. I am endangering you with my presence." She is annoyed with him, but in all truth, he is correct to be afraid of her.

"No, we were over that. I just…forgot when I was woken to what sounded like a mountain lion screaming beside me." He grins slightly. "Can we just forget it?"

She considers. "Okay."

"Come back here." He takes a step forward, holds out his hand; after a moment she moves to meet him, and he rubs her shoulder. "Must have been a bad dream," he murmurs, as she lays her head against his t-shirt covered chest and closes her eyes. "Never heard you scream like that."

"Mmm." Laura doesn't want to talk about it. It was a terrible dream, mixing every fear she had.

"You're stiff as a board," he says. "I could—"

"Yes," Laura interrupts, opening her eyes. He grins slightly. She's become almost addicted to the thing he does with his powers, and has even come to initiate it, most of the time. Demanding it. It's almost as if she leads a double life, as no one on Utopia would ever believe her behavior with him behind closed doors.

"—give you a neck rub," he finishes. "But yeah, that too."

After a while she's drifting off to sleep again, smiling slightly, her clothes lying on the floor, and he's stroking her hair and wondering what could have been horrible enough to make her cry out in her sleep.

Because Laura doesn't scream. Ever.

**…**

"Uhh…" Julian says, as Laura suddenly stops in front of him, in the hallway to the banquet area. He almost bumps into her.

"You won't like it," she announces, looking back at him.

"Huh?" he asks,.

"The food. I smell crustaceans, eel...and Wolftrap anglerfish. I do not smell eggs."

Julian's face twists in repulsion. "…_**EWWWWWWWWWWW!**__" _He says, after a moment.

She doesn't feel hungry at the thought, either.

"IHOP?" he suggests.

Laura nods. She makes as if to enter the room, but he grabs her wrist. "No—just us." He grins. "You can be my cheap date."

"Okay," she says, then thinks. "Is there something wrong with being inexpensive?"

"It means you've got low standards in your choice of men," he explains. "Girls like to be wined and dined, at fancy, expensive places."

"No, the choice of an expensive dining arrangement would limit the frequency of our association," she says.

"You're one in a million," he says, kissing her forehead. "C'mon, let's find Cyke."

Laura inhales. "Follow," she says, heading back the way they'd come.

**…**

"_**NO **_powers." Cyclops glares at Julian. "You keep your eye on this one, Laura. If you see green _near_ him, don't hesitate to 'remind' him, got it?"

"Why the hell do you keep picking on _me?_" Julian demands. "Laura uses her powers in public all the time! Every time you let _Surge_ go, she lets out enough electricity to power the city! What gives?"

"They can't help it," Cyclops says. "_You_ can. You don't even have an inch of excuse, now that you've got hands again. I mean it, Hellion. _No powers_."

"Whatever. Can we _go?_ I'm starving."

"Check in at noon." Cyclops says sternly.

"Yeah, yeah." Julian rolls his eyes.

"I apologize for his insolence," Laura says seriously.

Cyclops grins. "Accepted."

"Hey, you can't—" Julian says, annoyed.

"Get out of here, before I revoke your permission." He waves them away. The pair leaves the meeting room, bickering in quiet voices.

"That's just _wrong._ It's my choice if I want to be rude to someone, and you can't just undo it like that."

"Do not show insolence to your superiors," Laura lectures.

"You don't know what it's like!" Julian says, his voice raising. They exit the main building and head towards Utopia's docking port. "I've nearly _died_ defending the X-men several times. I _lead_ a group of my peers. I get decent grades, and all in all I'd say I'm pretty freakin' loyal. But _none_ of the teachers take me seriously!" He waves his hands in the air with each word, for emphasis.

"Maybe because _you_ do not take _them_ seriously," Laura says.

"…" Julian looks outraged. "I so do!"

"Which teacher do you listen to? I have not seen you follow one order since our introduction at the school."

"There's been tons. You weren't watching."

"I was _always _watching," Laura snaps, and then she covers her mouth, her eyes widening, as she has just embarrassed herself. She knows he was aware of her watching—but only about half of the time this was actually occurring.

Julian raises his eyebrows. "Even when I was sleeping?" he asks. "Cause technically, that was an order. I was always in bed on time."

"I…" Laura is torn between wanting to win the argument, and wanting to conceal the times she'd stalked him like an animal. Times that are behind her, and that are starting to seem inappropriate to her, as she spends more and more time with the others and observes 'normal' behavior.

"…there were many times you violated even that rule," Laura says, looking away. She can't stop herself from stating the truth, even at personal cost. She feels it is her responsibility to make sure all the facts are known. It's deeply ingrained in her, from being forced to tell every detail about missions the way they had happened, and to therefore uncover any flaws amongst the staff that handled her on away missions.

"I _knew _it!" Julian says, startling her. "You've been in my room. I mean, the one at the mansion."

Laura doesn't look at him yet, folding her arms. "I do not want to talk about this. It is beside the point."

"What was the point?"

"You show too much attitude," Laura criticizes. "You do not take the knowledge and experience of your elders seriously. You are often selfish. You are also easily distracted during training sessions." She pauses. "I believe you cracked your skull once because you were examining my gluteal region."

Julian raises his eyebrow. She glances at him now and sees that he is leaning his elbow on the railing, his head in his hand, and is watching her. "Would you have me any other way?" he asks.

Laura hesitates. "No…" she says, feeling like she is destroying the entire argument.

"What the hell is your '_gluteal region'_, anyway?"

"This." Laura puts a hand on her behind; he wishes he had a camera. He's never seen her do provocative, even though he knows she's trying to explain the word. He grins. "I can't help it. You've got a nice one." He pauses. "You want me to look at someone else's?"

Laura pauses. "No," she admits.

They reach the dock, and see that the supply boat seems to be about to push off; a boat hand is working on the knots. "Wait up!" Julian shouts. They run the last few steps.

The captain glances at them, and mumbles something under his breath, then jerks his thumb at the bow. "Stay out of our way," he orders. "That damn pink girl with the wings…I swear to god she almost _sunk_ the boat yesterday."

**…**

They reach the restaurant in about ten minutes of walking, and Julian opens the door for her, gesturing her in with an innocent expression. She turns her head halfway through and catches him staring at the area they'd discussed earlier; she says nothing, noting his tactic. They follow the host to a booth in the corner, beside a window. As they sit down, the host reassures them the waitress will be right over.

"What was that you were saying about Warpath earlier?" Julian asks. Being considered part of the actual team, and having enhanced hearing, makes Laura the best person to ask about details concerning the older X-men. Normally she refuses to spill, but of late she has been sharing her knowledge with him.

"He seems…distant," Laura says. "I also overheard a brief conversation between him and Hepzibah. Something about his involvement with X-force, and problems they need to sort out."

"Bet it was disturbing to suddenly find out she's involved with a murderer," Julian says, without thinking.

Laura stares at him.

"Oops—" Julian opens his mouth, realizing he's just dug himself a hole. "I meant—well, their relationship was _new_, and we're in no way comparable—"

"_Our_ relationship is new," Laura points out. She braces herself. "Do _you_ have a problem with my involvement with X-force?" She has never asked him this directly before. She is giving him a look that warns him to very to-the-point with her, and very honest.

"Uh—" Julian says. The waitress interrupts them; he turns his head to look at her, with relief. He can think of a way to answer this tactfully, given a few moments. Maybe he'll excuse himself to the washroom right after.  
Then his eyes freeze, locked on the waitresses' face.

"Hello, I'm Sofia, I will be your waitress today." She pauses, looks at him, and fingers her writing pad.

There is a strained silence. Laura looks between the two of them. She recognizes the girl from the mansion. She knows of Julian's involvement with her. She can hear changes in his respiration and heartbeat; he has reacted to seeing her.

"Julian," Sofia says, uncertainly. "I—what are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," he says. Both feel their parting argument weighing heavily in the air, like an unspoken agreement.

"You must be with the X-men still," Sofia says. "I—heard, about their relocation. I have kept up with their activities." She smiles slightly. "I guess I wanted to know where I could find you, someday."

Julian doesn't know what to say. "That's—uhh—you moved out here just for the X-men? But—"

"No." She smiles. "After hearing you talk so much about California…I thought I would try it. Acting, I mean." She pauses. "I tried to be a hero."

"I heard," Julian says. "The New Warriors, huh?"

"Yes." She shrugs. "That is behind me, now. I do not think I will do it again. I…without powers, I am more of a liability, than an aid." She pauses. "You were right. In a way."

"I didn't mean what I said," he says. "I often felt bad about that." He reaches up and rubs his neck, giving her an apologetic look, his cheek slightly redder.

"Why are there lines around your wrists?" Sofia asks, craning her neck to look.

"My hands were cut off." He pauses, at her horrified look. "It's a long story. Where the heck is your hair?"

"It is also a long story." Sofia smiles again. Then she notices Laura. "I am sorry. I did not—"

Laura bows her head, grits her teeth. Making a decision, a quick decision and a hard one, but the right one, now that all the facts are laid before her so neatly. "Excuse me," she murmurs, slipping out of the seat and heading for the door.

"What—" Julian says behind her, blinking. "Hang on, Sof, I—Laura, _wait!_"

She's out of the restaurant already, the breeze hitting her face with a slight sting. It's getting cold out, and she is glad for her jacket. She slips down an alleyway and to the next street, hearing Julian run by the end behind her, believing she has gone that way. Then she heads toward the bus stop, searching in her pocket for change.

Laura reaches the bus stop, sees that one is approaching, and boards it immediately, not even looking at the destination. She finds a seat in the back and slumps down in it, her hands in her pockets so she will not pop her claws, which she wants to do. She looks out the window instead.

**…**

"I am going on my half," Sofia murmurs to the host as she closes her jacket and steps outside. She spots the boy sitting on the edge of the flower box outside the restaurant, covering his face with his hands and looking distressed. She approaches him and lays a hand on his shoulder.

"I am sorry. I did not realize you were _with_ her," she says.

Julian looks down.

"If I may—" Sofia hesitates. "She seems rather sensitive."

"She's got good reason," he mumbles.

Sofia pauses. She's never heard Julian make excuses for anyone's odd behavior before; she recalls the days in which he used to _pick_ on the stranger habits of people like Laurie, for instance. She hesitates.

"Why don't you tell me about her?" she says, although she doesn't want to hear.

"It's a long story," Julian says. "I don't know all of it."

"I have half an hour," Sofia says, smiling. She sits beside him, a few inches away.

"Well…" Julian raises his head slightly. "It sounds crazy. She's Wolverine's clone."

"You mean Mr. Logan? From the school?" Sofia asks.

"Yeah. She was, uh, made it in this facility…from his blood," he says. "They wanted to remake Weapon X…but so they could control him. They wanted a male, but the sample was damaged. So instead they made Laura." He pauses. "No one really knows how bad it was. She doesn't talk about it. But these people were insane. I mean really messed up. They made her think she's nothing but a weapon."

Sofia frowns. "She…why did no one help her?"

"I don't know. Like I said, she doesn't talk about it. I just…there's something about her." He pauses. "Sometimes I think she doesn't understand us, any of us…I used to think she didn't have feelings, that she was a kind of robot."

Sofia raises her eyebrows. "That sounds like you," she comments.

He grins. "Cut me a break. I got to know her…after some stuff happened. She nearly got killed, by this big robot called Nimrod. That's when I started thinking…when I was afraid she'd die…and when I realized she was willing to sacrifice her life for us…"

"Nimrod?" Sofia asks.

Suddenly Julian realizes that Sofia doesn't know about the bus, or about her friends. He looks down.

"Sof…there's some stuff I have to tell you. Bad stuff, about hard times."

**…**

After using the restroom in the bus depot—and taking several minutes to carve up her wrists—Laura just walks for a while, her hands in her pockets, her eyes on the people around her, going about their business. She wonders what it's like, to have a normal life, without the facility. Without powers, without prejudice. Having parents to pass on knowledge, to explain. To reassure her when she felt doubt, to correct her when she'd done wrong.

Laura only knows of this from watching the other children at the institute, from listening to their conversations, and she's begun to understand just how much they have inherited, how much of their parents they have copied, and just _why _she stands out the way she does. Because she has not copied, she has only had herself. She is forming herself, from her own experiences.

And they are not good ones.

She stops at a café, hearing her stomach grumble. Sitting on the patio, she orders a sandwich and reasons what her next actions will be. She knows she will return to Utopia at the end of today, but whether she will stay or not is in the air. She realizes that, of late, there is little for her there, except for her new found relationship. And that this is not good. Laura is used to having an objective. Without something to be accomplished, she is nothing.

A weapon waiting to be used again.

Her sandwich arrives, a chicken club, and she thanks the waitress and begins to eat.

Across the street, two blocks down, a figure peers at her, through binoculars. "She's eating," he says into the microphone. "Looks good. I want one. Can we wait a bit?"

"_Shut up, Wilson,_" comes the faint reply. "_I'm on my way. Are you sure she's alone?" _

"Positive. The other kid went back to IHOP. Mmm. Think he had waffles?"

"_I swear to god, if you keep talking about food, I am going to tear possible off your torso and feed it to you." _

"With barbeque sauce?" Wilson asks, not putting down the binoculars. "Everything's better with barbeque sauce. And everything tastes like chicken. Think I taste like chicken?"

There is no reply.

"I crack myself up, I really do," Wilson says, giggling.

"_Idiot!_" Kimura replies, incensed. "_I'm at the corner. Let's get on with this." _

**…**

Laura raises her head suddenly and stumbles to her feet, shoving the table away. She is alone on the patio, which is a good thing. It will make things easier.

"Ma'am?" A waitress appears at the door. "Was the—"

_**"GO BACK INSIDE!" **_Laura shouts, popping her claws. "You are not safe out here!"

_**THUNK!**_

__ "UGHH!" Her head snaps back as a bolt arrow lodges itself deeply in the back of her shoulder. She crouches for a moment, then twists her head to look at it and reaches over, wrapping her fingers around the shaft.

"Nah-uh, clone," says a familiar voice, from behind her.

Laura looks at the table.

"Kimura," she acknowledges, in a weary voice.

She hears the crossbow being reloaded. "Any last words, clone? The tranquilizer will kick in any time now."

"I…" she twists around, her movements a little sluggish. "Kimura. Please, do not hurt them. I understand…I am not one of them. I will return to the facility…I am ready." She looks at her handler with half lidded eyes. "I give up."

"Oho, nice sentiment, clone!" Kimura chortles. "Too bad I don't work for the facility anymore."

_**THWAK! **_

"…" Laura staggers back, an arrow lodges in her forehead. She shoves the chair out of her way with the grating sound of metal on asphalt, then falls, her eyes sliding shut. The woman at the doorway has disappeared, to call the authorities; Kimura reloads her crossbow and heads in after her, as a man in a red-and-black costume kneels beside the girl.

"She looks innocent," he says, as he wields a large knife against her throat. "Kimura, you sure this is heroic? You _know _I'm a hero now."

"Yes, I'm sure, Wilson," Kimura says at the door. "She's a mass murderer. She's killed hundreds of people."

"Okay." He swings back with his arm and slits her throat.


	13. Chapter 13

**13- Chapter 13.  
**

* * *

"No…" Sofia is crying now, and Julian's arm is around her shoulders. He looks disturbed himself. He's told her about the bus full of children that had been killed in the explosion; and now he has just told her about her friends, about Wallflower, and Jay, and how even Elixir and Prodigy are all messed up. Nori is the only one of her squad that is still somewhat sane, although she's understandably very bitter.

"I'm sorry. I didn't—I never thought you guys deserved _that,_" he says. "We had our share of losses. I mean…with Brian on the bus…and Kevin…he just couldn't take it when Laurie died. It broke him." He rubs his face. "I don't blame him. I've nearly lost it several times, too. You left…then Brian died…" he pauses. "I found out about you going on his funeral day, you know," he says.

"I did not know. I am sorry," Sofia says. "I should have been there."

Silence.

"Yeah, you should have," Julian says. "Your team needed you." He pauses. "You should visit them, you know. Nori would love to see you…and David…the other kids, too. It would be amazing for someone to come _back _for a change. Instead of…well, you know."

"Utopia is only for mutants," Sofia says, smiling slightly. "I am not one anymore."

"You'll always be one of us, Sof," he says. "Some things just don't change, you know?"

She pauses. "Yes." She looks at him; he suddenly realizes she's looking for something. And he doesn't have it anymore, at least not for her.

"Er—" he says.

"I know." She smiles slightly. "You should look for her. I will be off at three…I can help you then."

"Okay." He pauses. "It's been great talking."

"Yes," Sofia says. "Do you have a cell phone?"

They trade numbers, then Julian gets up, waves to her and heads back up the street to find his missing girl friend, feeling worried. He hadn't liked the look in Laura's eyes; it had been more than some kind of tantrum, or a bad reaction to seeing him greet an ex.

He wanders the streets for a while, wondering how on earth he's going to find one girl amongst so many people. San Francisco is a city of over 700,000. Without any tracking abilities, it's going to be a long haul. He decides to do this the old fashioned way, by asking people. He stops people on the street, describes her, asks if they've seen her pass.

There are many shaken heads, then one nod, and a finger pointing. Julian heads in this new direction, feeling hopeful. Perhaps she stopped, after a while.

He sees a commotion a few blocks away. Emergency vehicles, and he reaches a small café surrounded by police tape. The door is open, and there are paramedics inside, loading a woman onto a stretcher, with grim faces. Julian shoves his way to the front of the gathering crowd and sees a large smear of blood on the pavement, and a few knocked over chairs.

And on the ground, a bent piece of what looks like metal. Julian moves to the corner and calls it to his fingers; a few people see it move and exclaim but do not see him catch it. He moves away and examines it in his hands. It's the aluminum shaft of a bolt arrow, from a crossbow. It's bent, like something has fallen against it, something with significant weight. It seems to have left the head inside its target.

Julian's hands grip the arrow shaft, and his forehead wrinkles. Somehow he knows this is connected with Laura. And that she has been taken. Taken where? Who the heck uses a crossbow now days?

_Kimura. _

Suddenly the facts line up. The facility, ages ago. Cessily had talked about her experience for hours. They'd stayed up all night, in fact, just talking about it. How it had happened. How she and Laura had been at the Grindstone, when suddenly there'd been an explosion. And then Kimura…

Kimura had pointed a crossbow at her.

"…" Julian shoves the shaft in his pocket, and heads up the street, phone in hand. He has to call someone. Who will know what to do? _Wolverine. _All the kids were given his number in case of emergency. He dials the number, and keeps walking. He doesn't know where he's going, but he needs to walk while he waits for the man to pick up.

**…**

Laura comes to slowly, her head swimming. She's in a dark room, her hands bound behind her, a rag in her mouth, secured with duct tape. Her forehead feels taut, and there is a dull ache, separate from a sharp, stinging sensation. These feelings are mirrored in her shoulder. She looks around her, with half-lidded eyes; she can't seem to put concepts together. Or images. Her vision is doubled. She can see in the dark; the images show her she is in the center of an empty room. Turning her head to eye the door, she sees a line of rubber, sealing the air. Soundproofing. She closes her eyes, her eyebrows drawing together; this causes a sharp stab of pain.

She doesn't understand why she isn't healing. A shot to the head is _nothing_ for her; she should have healed in a minute, if not seconds. Even if it had gone right through. Something is wrong. Those weren't regular arrows.

Her head tips forward, onto her chest. A wave of nausea passes over her, then everything fades again. For a while she is blissfully unaware of her surroundings, or her circumstances. She doesn't stir when people enter, or exit the room, speak in murmurs near her, make plans.

When she opens her eyes again, it's to the image of Kimura, holding a barbeque lighter, and a can of none-stick spray.

"She wakes!" Kimura says.

Laura mumbles something into her gag.

"What's that, clone?" She flicks the lighter. "I have _a lot_ of fun reunion activities planned. _And_guess what? No doctors to interrupt us this time! No one gives two shits if I kill you!"

Kimura kneels in front of Laura. "You know what you are?"

Laura opens her eyes.

"You're a fucking monster," Kimura whispers. "You're a machine, a weapon. You produce death and destruction. _You_ need to not exist. You need to be euthanized, but you need to suffer for all the pain you've caused. I've decided that." She pauses, smiles. "And you know what, clone? I'm going to have fun with it. Since this awful job is all up to _me._What do you say?"

Laura is silent.

_**"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!"**_Kimura roars, backhanding the girl. "YOU'RE THE DISEASE! YOU'RE THE CAUSE! YOU'RE THE REASON WE SUFFER!"

She grabs her by the collar. "Do you _hear_me, X? You're the fucked up result of the sickest minds in the world. And you started a chain that's never going to stop. There are too many of you now. The best thing you ever did was kill the bitch that whelped you." She shakes Laura. "She made me, you know."

Laura peers at Kimura, trying to focus the images.

"Oh yes, she did. She engineered the little trick that made me what I am today. But like your teacher said…pity she did nothing to make sure my mind was safe." Kimura points at her head. "Damn, I was fucked up before…but let me tell you…I was an ant before she did her work. Now I'm a god…and I'm _your_god. Tell me, X, are you afraid?"

Laura mumbles something into the gag. Kimura rips the duct tape off her mouth. "Are you _**AFRAID**_, X? Tell me—I want to hear you scream!"

"No." Laura lets her eyes slide shut. "I d-deserve it. I've…I deserve to die. Please…kill me. Before I am used again."

Kimura pauses.

"You need to suffer."

"Yes."

She flicks the flame on, and pulls the trigger on the aerosol can.

_**WOOSH! **_Laura closes her eyes as the flames tear into her skin, in the distant state she is in, not really feeling the pain. It's more of a cleansing feeling, like a weight lifting off her shoulders. She's been running from Kimura, for a long time now, but she was wrong. Sarah has never been her mother, despite the fact she'd carried her in her womb. Kimura raised her.

Kimura is her mother.

"I know how to make you suffer," Kimura whispers. "I'll make you kill them. All of them."

Laura opens the eyelid that is not melted together. "This is about me. Don't—"

"Shut up." Kimura holds a vial of fluid before her face. Laura sees the words **TRIGGER 42 **on the label, slightly blurred.

"This is _your _say in the matter, right here." Kimura says, then slips the vial back into her belt. She pulls out a knife, and begins to carve patterns on the girl's face, leisurely, even as Laura moans slightly.

Through her half-opened eye, over the knife, over Kimura's shoulder, by the door, she can see the chainsaw waiting. Then the lighter moves to her forehead, to the source of the pain, and Laura's thoughts begin to warp and stagger, sticking like a lagging machine.

**…**

Mr. Logan crouches by the scene, and studies the blood.

"Laura's, alright," he says, mostly to himself.

Julian's hands go to his pockets, and he pulls out the bent shaft. "I found this. It's Kimura's. Her handler."

Wolverine straightens, takes the piece of metal, and fingers it. "Yeah, I can smell her. Good call in grabbin' it." He hands the metal back to the boy and looks down the street. "She went this way."  
After about twenty steps, he holds up his hand. "They got in a vehicle. Burnin' regular fuel. Not a new car….rusty." He glances back at the shop.

"Can you track it?" Julian asks.

"Yeah. Hard on foot. Back to the dock, got my bike there."

"Don't need a bike," Julian says, his eyes glowing.

"Put me down, kid. You ain't comin'."

"Yes, I _am. _You didn't save Laura last time…or the time before that…or the time before _that_."

Wolverine squints at him, then raises his eyebrow. "Huh, you've got a thing for her, too."

"…" Julian realizes he must not remember what he'd seen during his possession. "_You _track her…_I'll _get us there…but I am sure as hell coming."

**…**

_Snff._

"Henh," Laura makes a soft noise, as she detects scents, familiar scents, through her still-bleeding nose which is missing the cartilage on the end. Scents that shouldn't be here. The inhabitants of this room are only herself, her failure, and Kimura.

"What did you say?" Kimura demands, holding Laura's detached ear in her hand.

Laura turns her eye to her handler. "N-n-no." Her lips have been cut away, revealing her teeth.

"_**Answer **_me." Kimura jerks her head back and holds the knife to her throat. "Or I'll—"

_**BAMMM! **_

From downstairs. The building shakes slightly.

_**VRRMM! **_

Laura closes her eyes. Why did he follow her? She doesn't want him to see her life this. She doesn't want him to see her again, _period. _

"Your little boyfriend," Kimura says, then smiles. "He'll be your first target. I didn't give Wilson _all_ the trigger." She produces the vial again and holds it up for Laura's inspection.

"N-n…" Laura looks down.

"_Yes._ We're going to do this the right way, by killing _anyone_ that knows you. All your little friends…Wolverine…Megan and Debbie…and _especially_ that little telekinetic piece of _shit._" She pauses, leans forward and whispers to her again. "I'm just keeping you busy, X. I've set the pieces up so you can knock them down. I never said I was killing _you_ today_._"

_RATTLE! _The door bounces, being impacted from the other side. Kimura straightens. "Whatever happens now…they're too late to save you, X. I've ended it. It's over."

Laura watches the door. She closes her eyes as it bursts open, and the two people she wants to see least in the world right now tumble in.

They take in the girl sitting half-disassembled on the chair. In silence.

"Well, nice to finally_ meet_you!" Kimura says, getting to her feet and kicking away her chair. "I feel like I've known you for a long, long time."

This is directed towards Wolverine, whose eyes have been fixed on Laura. Who is an absolute mess. It's hard to tell where the liquid splattering the room ends and she begins. Her face is a sea of lacerations and burns, not a speck of unmarred skin left. She's been scalped, and she's missing two limbs, her left arm and right leg. Her front is a bloody mess.

Amongst other things.

How is she still conscious? And why hasn't she healed?

_**SNIKT! **_Wolverine pops his claws and glares at Kimura. "Don't normally hit women…but you know I'm goin' to repay every cut, right?"

"I was counting on it," Kimura says, grinning. "You can't hurt me, of course. I was _designed_ to be her weakness—and by those terms—_your _weakness. But you're welcome to try."

Logan looks at Laura, on the chair, and feels the full weight of his failure. The eye gazing at him dully doesn't seem like hers. There is no fight. Just numb acceptance.

He springs at Kimura and slams her into the wall, his claws at her shoulder, but they won't penetrate. It's true, she's immune to anything he can try. He retracts the claws, pummeling her face and throat, getting more and more worked up as he goes. "Son of a _**BITCH!**_" he roars finally, flinging Kimura across the room by her unbreakable arm.

Kimura regains her balance and leers at him. "The kid you brought _can_ hurt me. Too bad he can't handle the heat, eh?"

"Aw, Christ," Wolverine says, paying attention to the boy for the first time since they've entered the room. He curses himself for letting the kid come. He'd known it would be bad. Julian's vitals behind him are spinning off the charts; he was in no way prepared to see what Kimura was capable of, to see Laura in this state. He's rooted to the ground.

"_**KELLER! **_Snap out of it!" Logan roars. "Need your powers here!"

"…" Julian looks at the partial girl on the chair. "What do you want me to do?"

"Don't care! _**KILL HER!**_"

Julian hesitates a moment. "No."

"Hah!" Kimura says.

"We have to be better than her," Julian says. "We can take her prisoner. Utopia has cells...they held Legion. They can hold anyone."

Logan takes a deep breath, to control his anger, then nods. "Good call, kid." He looks at the chair, where Laura sits; then approaches, his claws out. "We're goin' to take you home, half pint."

"N-no," Laura says. "Don't."

Wolverine ignores her, cuts the bindings and lifts her up. "Let's go. Grab the leg, and the arm," he tells Julian, who swallows and nods, his eyebrows drawn together. _Focus, _he tells himself.

**…**

"You're a very sick woman," Scott says.

Kimura grins. "You have no idea. You also don't know how _glad_I am that you brought me here. Now I get to see it."

"See _what?_" Cyclops demands, leaning over the table. "_**ANSWER ME!"**_

"X's big reveal, of course," Kimura says.

"I can't get anything off her, Scott," Emma says. "She's done something to protect her mind."

Kimura tilts her head. "Yeah, someone gave me some good advice, a while ago. Looked a little like _you, _actually." She pauses. "I recall her telling me something else, too. Something about _taking _people from me." She grins. "This is going to be so good."

After that, she is silent. Frustrated, Cyclops puts her in the holding cells, with Danger to watch her.

**…**

"Carbonadium," Beast says, holding up the X-ray. "Lodged inside her skull. In the frontal lobe, clear through to the amygdala."

Logan's grip on the foot of her infirmary bed tightens. He knows only too well what a Carbonadium shot to the head will do, having just dealt with this in Daken. Memory loss, personality changes…and until it is removed, Laura isn't going to heal.

"She'll get better, right?" Julian pipes up. "Her healing—"

"Ain't worth a piss till that arrowhead's outta there," Logan says. "God damn. Where the _hell_ did that bitch get _Carbonadium? _I thought I had the last few pieces in the world."

"I can't tell you that, Logan. I only know we need to get the arrowhead out…and quickly. She was also shot in her left shoulder; I believe I will have to operate there as well." He pauses. "As to her prognosis…I cannot promise anything. What you have seen with Daken…" he looks at Logan. "It may differ in Laura. She has _your_ healing factor, not Daken's. She may recover, and she may not. She is mortally wounded, and if it were anyone else, the prognosis would be death."

"Right," Logan says.

Beast leaves the room, to prepare the surgery theatre.

Julian moves to the side of the bed and takes her limp hand in his—the one she still has to take. He looks miserable.

"I shouldn't have let her go."

Logan directs his gaze to him. "Eh?"

The boy looks down at Laura, whose eyes are half open. She breathes through her lipless mouth, her skull shining in the stark lighting of the infirmary, her wounds slowly oozing blood.

"We went…for breakfast." He rubs his thumb over her remaining one. "I met someone I knew, a long time ago. Sofia…you remember her, Mr. Logan?"

"Yeah," Wolverine says. "Nice girl."

"Laura took it the wrong way," Julian says. "And she—well, she ran off."

"Just how involved _are_you two?" Logan asks suddenly, his eyes narrowing.

Julian stiffens. He's just remembered that he's talking to the person that is effectively her _father_—_officially, _seeing as he'd legally adopted her.

"Enough that this is ripping me up," he answers carefully. He doesn't know what Laura would want him to tell Wolverine. He feels that—even though he's a part of what they've been sharing the past few months—it's not really his call to divulge information on.

"Hrm." Logan folds his arm. "You an' I have to have a talk, kid. After this."

"Okay."

Beast re-enters the room. "Alright. Julian, help me move her. If you're not too squeamish, I'd like to request your help in the surgery room, with handling the Carbonadium. A little telekinetic surgery, if you will."

"I don't want Keller anywhere _near_her brain!" Logan growls. "Punk is a screw-up."

"I'll be careful." Julian picks her up and moves her towards the next room with his mind.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Sorry, had a lot of crap going on. Here's the update. 

* * *

**14. Chapter 14**

* * *

The girl wakes suddenly, and for a few moments she lays still on the bed, her heart pounding in her chest, her eyes rolling wildly around the room. Her nostrils flare. Then she sits up.

A stab of pain rips across her shoulder. She adjusts her position, clapping her hand to the joint. Her eyes flash down to her arm; she starts. It is a small, deformed-looking tube, basically a long bud with what looks like fetal fingers attached to it.

_Hahaha!__ And __then __Loa__ was __like__—_from outside. Her head jerks in that direction; she pushes the bed covers out of the way with her good hand and puts her foot on the floor; she goes to stand and falls to the floor, with a sharp sound.

The door opens, and someone comes in. "Shit!" a voice says, medium in depth, belonging to a young male. Footsteps, then the source appears at her side, looking worried. "Here, let me help you up." A hand reaches for her elbow; she jerks it away and looks up at him distrustfully.

She forgets about her initial distrust; her first impression is that he is beautiful. Her mouth falls open slightly, and then her face contorts with pain, at the stinging sensation around her mouth.

"Here, let's get you back in the bed." She lets out a sharp shrieking sound as she is bathed in bright green light—forceful light—and she struggles against it, as she is deposited on the mattress once again.

"RrrrRRRRRRRGHHH!" she snarls.

"Calm down. You don't want to tear anything." He puts his hands on her shoulders and presses her down; she stops struggling and directs her gaze to him once again, now that the light has disappeared.

"Laura?" he asks.

She continues to stare at him. He reaches out, touches his fingers to her cheek. It's amazing, watching her body knit itself together again. He examines her mouth; thin lips are beginning to form, tattered at the edges, but they definitely cover her teeth few fractions of an inch more than they did yesterday. Ears are forming, on the sides of her head. Skin has knitted together, over the dome of her skull; already a black down—like that of a baby—is forming over the top.

From her severed limbs grow new ones, small, misshapen, but every hour, they are slightly bigger. Beast has informed all who visit that they are viewing Laura's healing factor in slow motion. What would normally take her seconds, minutes, hours, is taking days, weeks, because of the Carbonadium poisoning. She's definitely picking up now; her eyelashes are heavily fringed again, the lids as they were before; her eyebrows rise in arches above these, and her nose is finished healing. The skin of her cheeks are smooth and unmarred.

Only her ears, limbs, lips to go now—and the hole in her forehead that is almost gone, the dead flesh being scraped away from where it had made contact with the Carbonadium.

She blinks.

"W-where—" she coughs. "Where am I?"

"The infirmary." He strokes her cheek with his thumb. "You…you've been through a lot. What do you remember?"

She closes her eyes. Then opens them again, and they are still blank.

"Who are you?" she asks.

Julian bites his lip, to keep from either causing the infirmary to explode, or breaking down in a frustrated mess in front of her. Complete with tears. He's tried to prepare himself for this moment; Beast had warned them that she would probably retain memory damage. And that things will take time.

Or Emma Frost.

**…**

"She's physically fine," Beast says, two days later and a total of five days after Kimura had basically dissected her alive. "The claws should function as normal, and the Carbonadium wounds have healed beautifully." He pauses. "Mentally…I'll leave that up to our dear Emma Frost."

Julian is sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand on Laura's lower back; Logan stands at the end, his arms folded. Both wear serious expressions. Laura gazes at Beast with her head tilted, as if trying to place him in her memory.

"Emma's pretty good with the mind whammy stuff," Logan says. "Wouldn't rule out the chance that she can get her back."

Laura watches Beast and wonders who _was _she, that they should be so eager to get her back? Was she better than she is now? Obviously. She feels it every time the older man turns his gaze upon her, whenever the boy glances her way. The boy is the worst. She feels a need to please him, to meet his expectations—but she just—_can__'__t_. She can't remember what she knows about him, despite wracking her brain, despite wanting to, very much. Her mind is like a spherical room with shiny white walls; she can't get a hold on anything.

"I'll go get her," Julian says, slipping off the bed. The girl stops him, her hand on his wrist; she catches his eyes. "I—" she looks into his eyes. "Am I—not adequate?"

"…" Julian looks uncertain.

"Course you are, half-pint," Logan says. "Just going to help you remember who you are."

"Please," Laura says, ignoring her mentor. To Julian. Logan roles his eyes. "_Teenagers,__" _can be heard in the background.

"That's not the problem. We want to help you." Julian says, after a moment. "You shouldn't have to wonder about yourself."

Laura bows her head. "Okay."

He smiles at her reassuringly, then leaves; a few minutes later, he returns with the telepath, who makes sharp _Click!__ Click! __Click!_ noises with every footstep. Her heels, on the tile floor.

"Alright, darlings. What's this about a girl needing my help?" Emma comes face to face with Laura on the stretcher, and gives her a sympathetic smile.

For her part, Emma feels relief that she has been presented with such an opportunity to help the girl she'd nearly driven away from the institute. Since realizing she'd been wrong in her actions, Emma has wracked her brain for a way to make it up to the girl. It's been too hard; the girl was aloof, and wanted no part in psychic counseling. Not that it would have _helped._Many of the girl's problems are simply caused by her inability to relax. Fear of that old monster, the trigger scent.

Now, here, is the perfect chance to assist Laura. She can help her recover her memories, perhaps gain the girl's trust. Despite the girl's involvement with X-force, Emma has realized she would _like_ to get to know her better. Cyclops speaks well of her, and generally he is a good judge of character.

"Sit back and relax," Emma says, holding out her palms. "Take my hands, and close your eyes. We are going to take a little journey together. Thank you, Hellion." A chair has found its way to the telepath; she perches on the edge, her hands outstretched.

Reluctantly—with a glance at the boy, and her mentor—reminding herself of what will be _hers _once she fixes this problem—she lets her fingers rest in the woman's cool palms, and lets her eyes slide shut.

**…**

"Your mind is like glass_,_" Emma says, inside the girl's mental room, fascinated. She sees more than the girl can see. Looking up she sees the ceiling is faceted, every facet filled with memories, swept clear of this white, blank space made by the arrow.

It is a matter of connecting the memories. Emma moves to the wall and touches it, seeing a vividly detailed memory. A woman's face, much like Laura's, bent down towards her. Smiling slightly.

The memory changes, to the face no longer smiling, but still, and cold. Mask-like.

Some memories glow darker, others bright; neural pathways, the lesser used, and the most used. She sees one with familiar faces and explores it, seeing the people of Utopia through Laura's eyes. Different versions, some normal, some through what might be described as heat imagine technology. The images are covered in target signs, and strategy markers, and notes, pointing out flaws and possible attack methods. She sees herself, covered in thought-writing: _"__Overconfident.__ Weaknesses:__ Form__ dependent.__ Audio,__ Vibranium,__ Adamantium, __Cyclops.__" _

Emma purses her lips, then waves her fingers. A series of sticky threads form and travel through the air, connecting her own picture to a memory on the other side. As soon as the memory and association touch, they light up and disappear, no longer broken. Emma does her best not to look at the memories she is repairing, other than for identification of what ends to connect.

This continues for a long while. Julian is afraid to move, not wanting to distract the pair, but at one point Logan moves to the window and lights a cigarette.

"Not in here," Beast scolds him. He rolls his eyes, signals to Julian to follow, then goes outside.

"So now's a good time to talk about what _you _want with my daughter," Logan says, sneering.

"Er—" Julian almost panics. "I don't think I should talk about it—without her here, I mean."

"Fuck _that,_" Logan says. "This is somethin' you have to do, Keller. It's a guy thing, and it don't have nothin' to do with her. I asked what _you__'__re_ up to."

Julian can't relax. He's gone pale; he imagines saying the wrong thing, and getting killed by Wolverine.

He's often thought the man would stab him for much less than this.

"Well…I…" he struggles. "I think she's…uh…neat?"

Logan raises his eyebrows.

"No! I mean…I think she's a great person," Julian says, kicking himself. "I enjoy spending time with her. She…she's not like the other girls here."

"No, she isn't," Logan says, and it sounds like a warning. "You better remember that. If you take things less seriously than she does…or if you make things too serious and she can't handle it…I'm going to have another little chat with you, got it?"

There, an open threat. Julian nods slightly.

"Also. You two kids sharin' more than just time together?"

"…" Julian doesn't know how to answer this.

"You broke it, you bought it, Keller. That's all I'm goin' to say. If you don't know how to stop that kind of shit, you see Hank. I don't do talks. But so help you God if you knock her up."

Julian rubs his neck. They'd taken precautions, of course, but suddenly he doesn't feel so good, with a threat like that behind it.

"I'll say this." Logan takes a puff of his cigarette, blows it out slowly. "Laura is probably the only girl in the world like her, and for all her problems, I think she's about ten times too good for a little shit like you. She _is _my clone, after all. Wish she would save it for someone worthwhile. But I can't rightly judge her actions, so I won't. Just…you better take care of her. And value her. Yer basically in a place I can't be there for her, and she's goin' to come to you with her problems. Yer goin' to have to man up to that."

"I'm _trying_," Julian says, irritated by this assumption of himself. But then he looks through the infirmary window, and feels like he can see what Logan is talking about. "Guess I failed this time."

Logan raises his eyebrow. "We both did. Didn't see this one comin'. But you see her run off again…you don't stop to talk to one of yer little friends, got it? You stick with her, like a burr."

"Maybe I should get a leash or something," Julian says out loud. He sees Logan's infuriated look. "Honest to god, it was a joke. I did _**NOT**_ mean that."

"Hrm." Logan taps his cigarette. "Let's go back in and see what Frost's got."

**…**

"There," Emma says, about an hour later. "More like yourself, Laura?"

The girl blinks. "Yes," she says. She casts a glance at Logan and Julian, who have re-entered the room. "I…thank you, Ms. Frost."

"You are welcome," the White Queen says, smiling and getting to her feet. "All in a day's work. She should probably rest now. Allow her time to adjust."

"Can she leave the infirmary?" Julian asks.

"I don't see why not." Emma pauses and looks at her student, suddenly catching a glimmer of his intentions. She raises her eyebrow. "Hellion…we haven't spoken in _ages._ Perhaps I could see you in my office?"

"Is tomorrow ok?" Julian asks. He wants nothing more right now than to spend the night with the girl, make sure she knows how worried he was, how much she means to him. And, also, correct her wrong assumption about Sofia.

"No…now," Emma says. "It is important."

Julian gives Laura a glance. "I'll see you later, okay? Meet me at supper."

She doesn't answer. He feels worried, but Ms. Frost is clearing her throat, and then he feels himself turn and walk out of the infirmary, not entirely of his own volition.

**…**

"Julian…I read your thoughts, earlier," Emma says, her expression serious.

"What—" the boy looks outraged.

"You were almost projecting them. I did not notice that you and X-23 had moved ahead into a relationship, of sorts." With over-emphasizes on '_of__ sorts__'_. She pauses. "You are too young for such attachments, Julian. You—"

"I'm eighteen," Julian says, his eyes burning with power as he starts to get angry. "And I wouldn't say I'm too young for a girlfriend. I'd say I'm too young to have lost, what, fifty or so of my friends, and have my freaking hands cut off, _Ms.__Frost._"

"That's beside the point," Emma says impatiently. "And my concern is not really that you have chosen a partner. I understand it's natural behavior for teenagers. My concern is your _choice._X-23—"

"Is like no other girl here. I know, Logan already gave me the spiel," Julian says.

"She is dangerous. Immoral. At the tiniest drop of that 'trigger' scent—"

"She'll kill everyone. _I__ know._It's a turn on," Julian says, to piss Ms. Frost off. It works.

"_**JULIAN**__**—**__"_ It's like she's swelled, to a hundred times her normal size. "Killing everyone _isn__'__t_ funny, and it _isn__'__t _an aphrodisiac. It is a very _real_ threat, one we must live with every day. I am prepared to have her as a student—because she needs help—but _not_ to have you involved with her."

"Too late," Julian says. "I'm already involved. I'm not going to do anything to change it."

"I could," Emma says, almost to herself.

"…" Julian stands up. "Maybe I'll just _leave,_if you're going to make threats like that."

"You could have any other girl here," Emma says. "Noriko Ashida. Hope Abbott. What about one of the Cuckoos? I know Celeste harbors rather fond impressions of you."

"I don't pick my girlfriends off _rosters,_" Julian says. "Thanks, but I'll keep my own choice. And if you try to change it…I'm going."

Emma watches as he storms out, slamming the door, and she sighs, drumming her fingers on the table.

"_Damn_ Logan and his _clone_," she mumbles.

**…**

Laura is outside when he finally finds her, sitting in the tree where they'd first begun talking. She's looking out across the water, hugging her knees to her chest. He jogs over to the trunk and looks up, breaking into a grin. "Hey," he says.

She doesn't look down, doesn't answer, but her grip on her knees tightens. He sees her knuckles whiten.

"Come down here. We need to talk."

Laura doesn't respond. Finally he lifts himself up and sits down behind her. His arms go around her waist and pull her towards him; at the same time he nuzzles her neck and presses a kiss into it.

"Don't," Laura says, drawing away. She looks at him finally; her face is impassive.

"Why?" he asks.

"I am not…" she pauses. "You should be with someone else. I know you miss Sofia."

"No, I don't." He reaches out, touches her chin. "She's in the past. I wasn't thinking about her that way. I…I should have kept looking for you. If I had found you sooner…"

"Kimura would have hurt you, too." Laura pauses. "Where is she? You did not kill her."

"No." Julian moves his fingers down, to her throat. "She's in the prison. I won't let her near you again. I'm sorry I—"

"No!" Laura looks like she is going to jump from the tree; he stops her with his mind.

"Let me go! She—"

"It's okay. She's in an Adamantium cell, with a defense system. Danger's watching her. And there are invulnerable mutants guarding the cells. There's no way she's getting out. And even if she is…I'm not going to let you out of my eyesight. I can kick her ass without even touching it."

Laura looks uncertain. He pulls her closer, wraps his arms around her. "I'm so sorry I let her touch you to begin with. If you're mad, I—"

"She was working with someone," Laura remembers suddenly. "Wilson."

Julian stiffens, pulls away. "What?"

"He had a black and red outfit. He came after she shot me."

"There was no one else there."

"He wouldn't have to be." Laura looks frightened. "Julian—she has trigger scent!"

He sees the fear in her face, and suddenly he feels afraid too. If Laura, who is afraid of nothing, fears this trigger so much…then it is something genuinely frightening.

"Let's go talk to Cyclops," he says, reassuringly. Laura nods, slightly.

**…**

"Deadpool!" Scott Summers says, turning a corner and nearly dropping his coffee mug at the sight of the unorthodox assassin. "I—err—what are _you_ doing here?"

Deadpool holds up his hands as Cyclops reaches for his glasses. "I'm an X-man. What's your excuse?"

"You're _not_ an X-man," Scott says. "I told you…your membership was probational. We revoked it. End of story, meaning _you__'__re _off the island."

"Okay, but you said all mutants are welcome here. Didn't say they all have to be X-men."

"Deadpool—" Scott sighs. "No one feels _safe_ with you here. You're a little…don't take this the wrong way, but you're a little _psychotic._ No one, including myself, could sleep when you were officially one of us, for that little period of time."

"Oh. Okay. Nice talking with you, Cyclops!" Deadpool turns, and, whistling, heads for the elevator, leaving Scott scratching his head. He tries to reason why the man would be wandering around down in the environmental controls section; he heads for the security room and replays the recording there, but sees nothing. He frowns and leans back in the chair, stumped.

Just then his buzzer rings.

**…**

"She's healed," Deadpool says, as he presses buttons on the console. "Well, at least, I think she is. She has two more limbs now than when you finished with her. Does that count?"

"Shut up," Kimura says. The cell opens; she steps out. "Did you do it?"

"Yeah," Deadpool replies. "Cyclops caught me coming out of the room."

Kimura looks furious.

"Don't worry! I came up with a really good cover story!" he says. "Besides, I looped the security feed. There's no way he could figure it out."

Kimura steps out of the holding room and looks at the two unconscious mutants situated as guards. "I trust you took care of the feed in here?"

"I'm a professional," Deadpool reassures her.

Kimura glares at him.

"Let's head upstairs. I want to watch the fireworks." They pass the smoking, female-shaped robot named Danger as she leans against a console, staring into space.

**…**

"Wilson," says Cyclops, rubbing his chin. "Your description matches the guy I saw today. He was wandering around the environmental section. I couldn't figure it out—"

_**EEEEEeeeEEEEeeeEEEEeee**—_

"Uh-oh," Julian says, as they all look up at the emergency sirens flashing.

"That's not good," Cyclops says.

Laura stares at him.

"Someone's broken loose from the security sector," he explains.

"Kimura," she says.

"Possibly. Excuse me, children." Cyclops runs for the elevators.

Julian takes the girl's hand. "Let's go find the others. We'll stay in the middle of the group…she can't reach you that way. And if she does, I promise, I won't let her hurt you."

Laura nods slightly. She still looks scared.

They head to the common room, where students are supposed to gather in times of attack, unless otherwise instructed. Rogue is there to supervise them, her expression calm, and she's got the students sitting in the center of the room.

"Ah was worried about you two," she says, in relief, as she sees the pair approach. She notes Laura's expression; surprising, considering the girl has faced Nimrods with less trepidation. "Somethin' the matter, Laura? Ah mean other than—"

"Kimura," she murmurs. "My handler."

"Oh," Rogue says. She has the memories. "Don't worry, we'll—"

"She has trigger scent," Laura says. "She wants me to—" her eyes widen, and she looks towards the doorway that leads to the kitchen. A few moments later…

"_**THERE**__**'**__**S**_ my girl!" A horribly familiar voice says. Kimura has appeared. She's grinning, and holding a glass of water, and examining her newest batch of victims.

"Shit," Rogue murmurs.

"Anyone taste the craptacular water around here?" Kimura asks, holding the glass high. "I bet it's the same water you bathe and shower in. And the exact same water in your toilets. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's the _main_ water supply." She pauses. "It's bad enough that it makes you want to…kill people…doesn't it, X?"

Silence.

It clicks for Laura. "They have put trigger scent in the water system," she says, her voice almost too tight to talk.

"A star for X!" Kimura says. "I'll put one on every coffin. There's going to be _a__lot_ of them."

"…" Laura looks at the boy. "Julian…please, restrain me. If I smell it…I can't control myself."

"Oh _Julian!_ Hold me!" Kimura mocks. She drops the glass with a shattering sound and steps into the room. In a smooth motion she reaches down to her belt, pulls out a gun-like device, with a familiar vial containing orange fluid in the see-through barrel, and points it at him, pulls the trigger.

Julian raises a shield a second too late. They can all see the front of his shirt has a wet stain where she sprayed him with trigger scent; an orange splatter on his white t-shirt.

All eyes turn to Laura. _Snff,_ they hear. She gives them an apologetic look. And then…

_Snff._They wait.

Nothing.

"…" Kimura raises her eyebrows, looks at her gun and pulls the trigger again, spraying Julian with a full stream, from head to toe.

"Quit it," Julian snaps, breaking the small firearm with his mind. Kimura looks at Laura, confused.

"What the hell? Why aren't you killing them?" she asks.

"I don't know," Laura says.

"It's trigger scent. Adam Harkins gave it to me." Kimura studies the contents of the vial.

"Okay. From what ah can see, sugah…there's about twenty of us…and one of _you,_" Rogue says. "You want t' surrender, or you want us to kick yer ass first?"

Kimura starts. She hadn't counted on fighting anyone herself; it had been assumed that Laura would kill everyone, in a berserk trigger-scent rage. But now…

"I don't want her to surrender," Julian says, sending her tumbling into the wall. "Hey, you guys mind getting off the sofa? I'm going to need it."

Several students scramble off the piece of furniture, which promptly sweeps into the woman, denting the plaster around her. She lets out a muffled yell.

"Hey…Julian…mind lowering the sofa for a bit?" Cessily says. "I want to hit her, too."

By the time the other X-men track her to the room, Kimura is covered in multiple colors of bruises from impact damage, and has a messed-up area on her shoulder, where Loa put her hand through it. She is shrieking about delusions that Pixie's dust has made her see. Rogue has also touched her, ensuring that she has nothing else up her sleeve.

Deadpool has made an escape, after being overwhelmed by X-men. Wolverine tracks him as far as the next city, then stopped, deciding that the mercenary had given Kimura up as a lost cause.

**…**

"It makes sense," Beast says. "Emma had imparted on me that the trigger sent conditioning was subconscious, and probably controlled by the instinctive part of your brain. And the amygdala—which does just that—was also pierced by the Carbonadium. If you had lost your previous memories stored in the frontal lobes…it follows that some of your instincts were similarly lost."

"So she won't kill anyone now," Wolverine says.

"Not unless she wants to, no," Beast says.

All eyes turn to Laura, to see her reaction. The girl looks lost, and disturbed.


	15. Chapter 15

******A/N: **Dear Liu: Fuck you. Love, onelildustbunni. PS: Happy holidays everyone!

* * *

**15- Chapter 15.**

* * *

"Can we talk, at least?" Julian asks. He's managed to corner Laura as she comes out of the rec room. It's been hard to talk to her the last few days; he suspects it's because she's decided to avoid him, and it's impossible to sneak up on a mutant with enhanced senses.

Laura hesitates. "I do not want to talk about it."

"_I_ do," he says firmly. "You owe me that much, at least. Because what we have isn't a one-sided thing."

She looks down. "Julian…what we _had._ We cannot continue this."

"Why?" he asks. "I still feel the same about you."

Laura fingers the edge of her top. The same one he remembers undoing several times. He gives himself a shake, if he doesn't focus, he might never do that again.

"The past days have shown me several things." She looks up. "The first is that I do not belong here. Just because the trigger scent does not work…does not mean it will never work again. Perhaps my brain will heal itself. Or Kimura will find another way to hurt me."

"There's no way she's getting out _now,_" Julian says. "She's trapped in a mind loop."

"If the machines fail…she will wake up. I do not even think killing her would guarantee that she would never return." Laura's eyebrows draw together. "But that is not why I must leave, Julian." She pauses. "I do not think I was the only one. Kimura said something to me. I think I may be one of many."

He stiffens. "What—she's lying. Don't believe her."

"I have to." Laura looks down. "She doesn't lie. About this. When I escaped from the facility…there were twenty-seven others in vitro. I destroyed the test tubes, and thought it was over. I never thought the facility could be larger." She pauses. "If there are others…the only thing I can do to fix this…is find them, and stop them. Only when the facility is gone will the cycle end."

"You're going to kill," he says.

"Yes."

He straightens slightly. "Laura—"

"I am not what you need," she says, her voice even. "I am _never_ going to be. The girl at the restaurant, you fit with her. That is who you are. Not—"

"Stop judging me," Julian says, getting angry. His eyes glow in the semi darkness. "You sound like Frost. I'm not going to let you 'sell' me on someone else for some half-assed reasons that make no sense to me, or so that you can just get rid of your life here."

Laura suddenly looks upset herself. "My 'reasons' are _not _'half-assed'—"

"Yeah, they are. You didn't even ask if I'd come with you. Which I _would_. I—"

"No. It is dangerous, and I do not want—"

"It's dangerous living _here_. I—"

"_**IT'S NOT THE SAME!**_" Laura yells, her face contorted. "You live a sheltered life! You have no _**IDEA **_of what they can do!"

Julian loses it. _**"SHELTERED?" **_he roars back. "I've nearly _**DIED **_about six times since I came here!"

Laura trembles, and her claws slide out. "You would be _**DEAD**_ if you—"

"Guys—" Nori appears at the doorway. "Are you fighting or something?" She looks uncertain.

"She's being stupid and trying to leave," Julian says angrily.

"Oh—" Nori looks at Laura, who looks quite frightening. "Well, I dunno about stupid. Some of us would feel safer. I—_**uggh!**_" She stumbles backwards from the shove. The kids outside examine her, in alarm, for stab wounds; but it had been Julian who shoved her away.

Laura has used the opportunity to run to the outside door. She hears Julian flying behind her and just manages to get through the door by the time he reaches her.

"_**GET BACK HERE!" **_He shouts, seeing her running across the ground. He picks her up mentally and—_**WHAM!**__—_deposits her unceremoniously on her behind, in front of him.

"Let go of me!" Laura snaps.

"No, you're going to _listen_. You've made all these nice little assumptions without asking me how I feel, or what I think, so I believe holding you still to listen to _my_ side of this is completely fair."

He folds his arms, and she blows hair out her face with a furious expression.

"If you don't care about me anymore…if you really don't feel anything for me…that's fine. I won't force you into something you don't want. Even so, I'm _not_ letting you do this alone. You're my friend, Laura…my best friend. I stand by my friends, even when they have to do shit that sucks."

Laura considers this.

"It's too dangerous. You—"

"That's up to me to decide. I won't endanger _you_—you know that. But it's my life and if I want to risk it, it's my choice, not yours."

He frowns. Now for something he really doesn't want to ask or clarify, but he has to. "Do you not care about me anymore?" he asks her directly.

Laura is silent. She avoids his eyes. "You will be—happier—with another."

"I asked _you. _Not what you think I should do. Answer the question, Laura."

"I care," she says, her voice small. "That is why I do not want you to get hurt."

"I won't." Julian kneels in front of her, on the grass, and brushes her hair out of her face, no longer holding her mentally. "I couldn't sleep at night if I let you go alone. I'd worry about you getting hurt, too."

"Oh," she says. He leans forwards and presses his lips against hers, and for the first time since that bad day, she doesn't resist. He strokes the side of her cheek and closes his eyes. "Come on…let's go inside. I want to spend tonight with you."

Laura considers. "Okay," she says.

He takes arm and pulls her to her feet, then puts his hand on the small of her back and guides her towards the main building. He has decided that showing her he cares is a two-part thing, one part involving a verbal explanation, and the other being a physical display of affection. He steers her to the dorms; they pass Anole and Santo on their way down the Mens' corridor.

"Heyyyy—she's not a guy!" Santo bellows.

"Ugh," Victor says, figuring it out.

"Weren't you guys fighting earlier?" Santo demands.

"Yup," Julian says, working on his doorknob. He has to pull the door shut while he unlocks it.

"Why are you—" he looks between the two of them. "God! I've had it! You guys _really_ need to stop being so public about it!"

"Trying to," Julian murmurs, rolling his eyes. The door opens and Laura looks at him uncertainly; he gestures her in. "Have a good night, guys."

"Apparently _he_will," Victor says.

"_**GAG! TMI!**_" Santo shouts. Julian pulls the door shut and locks it. "Jesus, I _hate_ him sometimes," he mumbles, hearing Santo continue to shout about how 'I'm _**NOT**_ okay with this!', while Victor eggs him on.

Laura sits on the bed, her hands folded in her lap. She looks at the ground, and he sits down beside her and slips his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry this happened," he says, quietly. "I shouldn't have let you think that."

She looks at him questioningly.

"That there was anyone else." He reaches over and runs his fingers down the side of her face. "How could there be? There's only you…Laura…" he suddenly realizes what he is trying to say, what has been struggling to come out for a while now. "I _love_ you," he says, earnestly.

Laura stiffens. "No."

"What?" he asks.

"When people tell me that—" she looks distressed. "They die. They always do!"

"…" he puts his hand on hers. "I'm _not _going to die, okay? It doesn't mean that. It means—well, you know what it means, right?"

She looks down. "Yes."

"I thought you'd be happy."

"I am concerned," she says. "I do not want you to die. I am only a threat to your life."

"You're not the only threat," he says. "Odds are I'll get killed without you, anyway. I want to enjoy what I can…" he touches her chin again, guiding it up. "I enjoy you, and the time we have together. When I'm with you…I don't think about the things I've lost."

"Really?" Laura asks, in a small voice. He kisses her again and presses her down against the bed, and for a while there is no more talk, only body language. When they are still again he wraps himself tightly around her form, promising himself that he'll never let go.

When he wakes up, there is a note, and an empty bed.

_**Dear Julian,**_

Thank you for everything you've done for me. I will miss you.

I wish you the best.

- Laura

For a while he lies on his back and examines the note, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Then he suddenly realizes the significance, and springs into action.

**…**

"Shit, shit," Julian mumbles. After dressing he grabs the note. He runs out of his room, his mind racing.

He finds Wolverine sitting on the patio, enjoying the sunrise with a cigarette in-between his fingers.

"Mr. Logan!" he yells as he runs towards him.

The older man raises his eyebrows. "Kid—" he starts, but Julian reaches him and shoves the note into his hands. "I know where she's going. Well, not where…but _why_," he says.

Logan reads the note, then crumples it. "God fuckin' _hell._ Not one moment of peace with you god-damn teenagers. I told you to _take care of her!_"

"She's pretty stubborn," Julian says. "She's your clone, after all."

"Hrumpf." Logan takes a last puff of his smoke, then grinds it under his heel. "Alright…I'll get my jacket. Meet you at the dock, kid. She ain't goin' nowhere yet…boats don't come till seven."

…

At the dock, Laura is standing with her jacket on, duffle bag over her shoulder, eyes on the water. She stiffens and turns when Julian is still quite a distance away; he can see disappointment in her face.

"So you were just placating me," he says, angrily.

"I—" Laura pauses, seeing Logan approaching, a few yards behind the boy. She closes her eyes, knowing this is now going to be far more complicated, now that he's gotten Logan involved—who often knows how to counter every argument she makes.

"This is embarrassing," Logan says loudly. "The clone of me is a bona fide _chicken. _Who woulda thought."

"I am not a coward—" Laura begins.

"You _are_ running, aren't you?" Julian points out.

"I am _not_running," Laura says. "I am simply removing myself from the matter at hand. You did not listen to my arguments, so—"

"That's the definition of runnin', kid," Logan talks over her.

"It is my choice if I wish to leave," Laura says. "Utopia is not a prison."

"Fair enough," Logan says. "Where you goin'?"

"I do not have to tell you."

"You're my daughter, and you're legally underaged."

Laura's mouth snaps shut, and she glares at Logan. "You _would not,_" she seethes.

"Yer kind a' limiting my options, here, half-pint," Logan says. She knows he is threatening to go to the police, and make her life far more difficult. Missing children searches are extensive. She has seen pictures on milk cartons. If he posts a reward, it would be almost impossible to avoid recognition.

"When we underwent the adoption, it was _not_for this purpose," Laura says, strained.

"Of course it was. I made sure I could always take care o' you…and that includes not lettin' you run amuck. Yer not done learnin' what you need to yet." He pauses. "You got a mission…fine. But you give it to the X-men, who will take care of it for ya. I'm not letting you anywhere _near_that hell-hole again."

"You told him," Laura says accusingly to Julian.

"Yeah, of course I did," he replies. "You can't just _not_ tell him. You agreed to be his daughter."

"…" Laura looks upset, and annoyed with herself. "This is none of your business, Julian!"

"You got into a thing with _him,_" Logan points out. "As much as I hate to say it, Keller's right. He did good in comin' to me. What you tried to do is mighty unfair. You'd 'a hurt all of us, when we've done nothin' but try to help you, half-pint."

Laura looks down, her hands shaped into fists.

"Just let me go. I have business I need to finish."

"We'll finish it for you," Logan says. "What _you _need to finish is what you've started here. And that you can only do by living the life you've made, day by day, and seein' where it goes."

"…" Laura stomps back towards the main building, pushing Julian out of her way as she passes, to make a point. He stumbles back, having not expected the action, then watches her go.

"Don't let it get to you, kid," Logan says, patting Julian on the shoulder. "She's been through a lot in the past few days. She's upset. She'll cool off. And some day, she'll be glad you did it."

Julian nods slightly.

**…**

In the days that follow, Laura continues to avoid Julian, going as far as to miss mealtimes, avoid the Rec Room, and completely change the spots she usually uses for brooding purposes. Julian is afraid she's left, but people reassure him that they have seen her around, and finally he manages to catch a glimpse of her during a barbeque on the beach. He doesn't go to her, figuring she'll let him know when she cools off enough; she avoids looking at him and stomps up the hill.

They are forced to confront each other during a fighting class, which Logan still handles bi-weekly. He pairs the students off for sparring practice, and deliberately designates them opponents.

"Bow," he orders the class, after they have taken position.

Laura's back remains ramrod straight, and she glares at Julian, who suddenly realizes he's going to have his ass handed to him by his girlfriend, in public no less. He feels a thrill of fear.

"Assume fighting stance," Logan instructs.

Laura sinks into the desired pose, and Julian prepares to defend himself. Powers are off-limit, but he wonders if he is going to need to shield. He decides he will, if her claws come out. He can probably handle the other blows. After all, she's smaller than him.

"Begin!" Logan orders. "Remember to—"

_**WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! CRUNCH!**_Julian is thrown backwards; he lands on his behind and skids to a stop, the room spinning.

"—to—" Logan says, raising his eyebrows, but Laura isn't done. She rushes the boy and brings her elbow down on the back of his head, simultaneously bringing her knee up into his face.

"_URRK—_" Julian says, in pain, then he grabs her ankle and sweeps it out from under her. She hits the floor with a noise of surprise.

"_**BREAK IT UP!**_" Logan orders, heading towards them.

Laura is on her feet, and she draws her leg back—and kicks Julian in a very sensitive area. With her booted foot. He's out, like a light, collapsing on the floor, and now Logan has grabbed the girl by the wrist and is yelling in her face.

"_**OUT,**__" _he orders, pointing at the door. "Wait outside. I need a few seconds to decide what I'm gonna do to ya. That doesn't involve yer death."

"…" Julian's opening his eyes. He flops on his side, curling. No sound comes out, except for a very high pitched wheezing noise.

"Stay put, kids. Need t' take this one to the infirmary. Heard a rib crack." Logan reaches out his hand to the boy. "Can you stand?"

"…" Julian doesn't answer. There is blood rolling down from his lip, which is split and swelling. After a moment, Logan picks him up unceremoniously in a fireman's carry and heads for the door. "You guys don't _**MOVE!**_" Logan barks at the rest of the class, who jump slightly.

He passes Laura outside, who watches as he carries Julian away. She is less angry, and she suddenly feels concern. She hadn't meant to mortally wound him, which she is afraid she has done. After a few moments she follows them into the hospital room.

"Not Julian again!" Beast exclaims, startled.

"Yup," Logan grunts, hefting him onto the stretcher.

"What—" Beast asks.

"His woman beat him up," Logan says. "Think I heard a rib crack. And you might have to check his nuts, I ain't seen a kick to the groin that hard since…well, _ever. _Might not need to worry about him knockin' my clone up no more."

Beast looks at the boy's pale face and unfocused eyes. "I see," he says. "Thank you for the vivid description. Would you like an ice pack, Julian?"

The boy nods, very slightly. To his credit he hasn't cried, except for the automatic eye-watering that occurred during the initial kick, and has died down to a gentle tear or two every few minutes. His whole body hurts, but it is a mere background noise compared to the latter injury she'd inflicted. He can't straighten his legs out of the curled position he's seemed to freeze into.

Not that he'd even try.

The door opens, and all turn to look at Laura, who is biting her lip. "Is he—"

"Alive?" Logan finishes, sarcastically. "Yeah. Now get the _hell_ back to yer spot, kid. Thought sparring might help you two but I never thought you'd try to _kill_ him."

"I did not—" Laura says.

"You might as well have," Logan says.

She approaches the end of the bed, and Julian looks at her through squinted eyes. "Keep her…away…" he mumbles, his teeth gritted. His head is throbbing, and he feels dizzy, amongst other things. Like the urge to be sick.

"Go wait outside, half-pint," Logan orders. "After someone kicks you in the family jewels, you _really_don't want t' see them."

Laura acquiesces reluctantly, feeling ashamed for having lost her temper. She now feels guilty, and suddenly she realizes she isn't angry at Julian anymore, only sorry that she has caused him pain.

**…**

"Why're you up so late, sugah?"

Laura snaps out of her reverie and looks up at Rogue. They are out on the patio area.

The girl had been musing over her situation. Wondering if she's wrecked what she and Julian have worked at for months and months. Wondering, too, if now that it's gone, she should leave on the next boat. She'd stayed—not only because of Logan's threats—but his accusations that she was hurting them. But she's realizing that no matter what she does, _someone _gets hurt. It's either herself, or someone she cares for.

They will be better off without her.

"I am…thinking," Laura says, her eyes still on the ocean.

Rogue smiles. "Penny for yoah thoughts?"

Laura hesitates. She remembers the woman's offer: _'Anytime you want…come and talk to me, Laura. Even if ah'm sleepin' an' you have to wake me up. Ah like you. You remind me of mahself…when ah was yoah age.'_Would she understand?

"I did something…that I am not proud of," she mumbles finally. "I hurt someone today."

Rogue leans against the railing. Logan has already told her what happened, while chain-smoking and crushing beer cans in his hand. He's worried that Laura is going down the wrong path—the one _he_sometimes takes—and he'd asked her to 'counsel' the girl.

"You're talkin' about Julian, ain't yah?" she asks.

"Yes," the girl admits.

Rogue thinks for a while. "Sugah…ah don't have to tell you that what you did was _wrong_." She pauses. "It looks like yoah at that conclusion already. Violence is never the raight answer…'specially when it's someone yah care for." She smiles slightly. "But ah'm one t' talk."

Laura looks at her questioningly.

"Lord knows ah've snapped a few taimes mahself. And…if yah think what yah did was _bad_…imagine havin' enhanced _strength _when yah go nuts. Ah'm lucky some of these people still talk to me."

Laura considers. "Logan is furious with me."

"Logan is also ah big ole' hypocrite," Rogue says, looking amused. "He's the reason we made up th' term '_Berserker Rage'._ What you do when yoah angry…and what _he_ does…two different things, Laura." She pauses. "What ah'm tryin' t' say, is what yah did is wrong. But we've all made mistakes. An' if Julian truly cares about yah…he's not goin' to blindly hate yah for snappin' under pressure."

"Julian can…be judgmental," Laura says. She lowers her gaze. "He will hate me. They all will."

"Pfft," Rogue says. "Julian's another one o' us who has much to wish for in th' sense of self control. Do yah know how many _rooms_he's destroyed with that darned mind o' his?"

"He can't control his powers when he gets angry," Laura says. "My incident did not involve abilities."

"It sure as hell did," Rogue says. "Ah'd have t' touch yah t' be able t' fight like that. Both situations involve _emotions._ If he'd learn t' think before he acts…t' calm down…he wouldn't slip-up, either." She reaches out, puts her hand on Laura's shoulder. "There's another side t' it all. The fact remains that they're _men, _and we're _women._ They don't have th' hormones we struggle with. Yah think Wolverine's ever had to deal with this crap while his uterus was tryin' t' kill him? Or that Julian's ever had t' interact with someone that betrayed him when he's already fit t' beat up someone for the slightest mistake?"

"No," Laura says. "But that should not be an excuse."

"It's not. But it's a _reason, _Laura." Rogue smiles at her again. "Talk to him. Explain yoahself. That's all you can do. And if he's angry…he has every right t' be…but if he decides not t' hear it, then that's his problem." She pauses. "In th' future…work hard to strive for that control…to breathe when yah get angry. To not let it happen again. We _all_ do, and ah hope someday ah'll achieve that mahself. But ah'm not no angel, and ah'm not a saint, so ah doubt it."

Laura hesitates. "Utopia would be better off if I…left."

"No." Rogue shakes her head. "Not like this, sugah. Never leave coz yoah givin' up. There are times where yah might _have _to go somewhere else for a while…but trust me. Don't do it now. Yah have things to fix here, learnin' to do. And trust me…if yah really like those you've hurt…it's _worth_ fixin'." She pauses, and looks a little distant. "Nothin's worth more."

Laura senses she is talking about something else now, and considers this. She is not the only one who is confused as to how she should deal with situations, even though she lacks the experience of the others.

"Thank you," she murmurs.

"Yah gonna try talkin' to him?" Rogue asks.

"Yes." Laura smiles slightly at the older woman.

"Thatta girl." Rogue pats her on the shoulder again. "Excuse me. There's someone ah have to talk to."

Laura watches her go, suspecting she is going to speak with whomever she had been reminded of. Then her mind turns to what she will say to Julian…and when.

**…**

The next morning, Julian wakes up, and wishes he hadn't. The pain is different, not the same insistent, overwhelming throb of the night prior, but now a deep, dull ache. His head hurts, along with his stomach and groin, and it hurts to breathe. His lip has also swelled up, and his eye feels puffy. He blinks, and then he turns his head slightly, at the sound of a crackle. A newspaper being put away, and a chair grating against the floor, as it is pushed back.

"Get the _fuck _away from me," he wheezes, seeing it's Laura. She's now standing by his bedside.

"I'm sorry," she says, her eyebrows drawn together.

"It hurts like hell!" Julian snaps, his voice barely a whisper. "Sorry doesn't cut it!"

Laura reaches out and smoothes the hair off his forehead. "I was…very angry with you. I felt like you betrayed me."

"I don't _**CARE! OWW!**_" Julian yells, his rib giving a sharp twang of pain at the increased breath.

"I am sorry I hurt you," Laura reiterates. She pauses. "I have been thinking. I…would like to go back to the way things were before. After I shut down the facility."

Julian takes a shallow breath. He wavers between being angry beyond reason, and feeling dismayed at her choice. Finally he speaks. "'After'? I thought…you're not going."

"I need to." Laura touches his cheek. "It is something I _must_do."

Julian pauses. Should he tell her to fuck off, or ask her to stay? "I _hate_ you," he snarls. Then…"I'm coming with you." He pauses. "After I heal. Wait for me."

Laura considers. She needs to mend her connection with him before she leaves; she can work on making him stay after. "Okay." She leans forward and kisses the normal-sized part of his mouth; he stiffens, feeling a natural fear. She draws away, smelling the pheromones.

"I will not hurt you," she says.

"Easy for…you to say," he grunts. "I've never been…in so much pain. I can't _move. _My stomach and…down there…god. Even my hands…didn't hurt _this_ bad."

Laura seems to wince slightly. "I'm sorry," she says again.

"Yeah, well…" he glares at her, then reaches out—his elbow still on the stretcher so he will not jar his ribs—and offers his hand; she takes it, and wraps her fingers through his. "Just don't…do…_THAT _again…and someday I might let you near me…without pulling up a shield."

"Okay," Laura says. She smiles slightly; he gives her a pained attempt at a smile. It's very lopsided seeing as half his mouth is swollen.

"Fuck it…that hurts my face," he mumbles. He pauses. "You're lucky…I didn't kill you with my mind or…something. When you did that last thing…almost made your head explode."

Laura is silent.

"For the record…before that…I couldn't bring myself…to punch you," Julian adds. "That's why…I let you kick my ass."

"You did not have time," Laura points out. "I am faster than you."

"If I wanted time…I'd just have to think about stopping you," he says. "I didn't want to hurt you. I can't. Even though you're…like the meanest bitch…_ever._" He tries to reach up to touch her face. "_**SON OF A—**_" he yelps in pain.

"Don't move." Laura helps him lay the arm down again. "I am sorry I hurt you. I did not want to. I…was very angry with you, for betraying me to Logan. I should not have lost my temper, but I do not have experience controlling it." She pauses. "I have never really been angry before."

"You must really like me, to get that pissed off," Julian says, the good corner of his mouth tilted slightly upwards. "I've gotten some girls mad before…but _damn…_nothing like that."

"You made Sofia angry at you," Laura says, recalling her introduction to the X-men. The voices, and the other girl's scent, but not the girl, because she'd left, walking in the opposite direction than her and Logan. She had sensed tension in the room. "And Nori."

Julian blinks. "Yeah, I did. That's what I was talking to…Sofia about…when I saw her a bit ago."

"What did you do?" Laura asks,.

"Made a mean comment about David," he says. "Stupid, really. Didn't realize that…we were all targets…whether we're human, or not."

"Do you still think he should leave?" Laura asks.

He thinks. "No. He's one of us. And we don't have many left."

Laura looks down. After a few moments, she tells him what she is thinking. "Sofia would not have done this."

"No…but she did give me a bad headache before. Blew out my eardrums for like a week." He grins again, lopsidedly. "She's got quite a temper…when she gets fired up…too." He pauses. "I can't…believe I'm talking to you…like nothing _happened._ Jesus. _You kicked me in the balls._"

"I'm sorry," Laura says again. She leans over carefully and kisses the corner of his mouth again. "I will do whatever you want while you are injured."

"You say this _after_ you…did that. I wanted a number…of things _before _it…but if you did them now I'd probably die of pain."

Laura thinks for a moment, then understands what he means. "Later, then."

"Really?" Julian eyes her, realizes he can see down her top, then he hisses in pain and adjusts his curling position. "Just…sit down again," he wheezes, a few minutes later. But this offer has made him feel slightly more at ease in forgiving her.

She complies with a troubled expression.


	16. Chapter 16

******____****ANNOUNCEMENT: **Two new stories-_Like a Boss: Tainted Love_ and _We're in This Together Now,_along with the update wave! Enjoy! :o)

**_A/N: _**Thanks for the reviews! :o)

* * *

** Chapter 16.  
**

* * *

"I'll sit this out," Julian says.

They are in the Rec Room, and Santo has just announced it's time to pick up where they left off with Rockband. He, Victor and Nori have kept doing online competitions, and are currently ranked 2379 in the world, but that's only on a three-player mode.

Everyone seems ok with the idea, but seeing as Julian is still nursing his broken rib and will be for a while, he doesn't feel like playing.

"What other songs do you know, Laura?" Santo asks her.

They perform several pieces, their combined scores mostly around the 80's or 90's. Julian, for once, concentrates on watching the others and offering tips when he sees room for improvement (as he is considered a Rockband expert).

A few hours pass this way, then Santo assigns music for Laura to listen to and declares that he is going to bed. Julian notes that the girl seems to have enjoyed herself, and gives himself a mental pat on the back for insisting she be allowed to play.

"Want to watch a movie?" he suggests, when Laura sits on the sofa beside him, obviously not tired either. She nods, hesitates, then crawls closer to him, her eyes questioning.

"Be careful. Lie on the sofa and lean on me slowly," Julian answers. Cautiously Laura does as instructed, however he is still uncomfortable, his face contorted in a wince.

"Damn," he mumbles.

Laura sits up again and pushes him towards the edge of the couch; for a moment he thinks he is going to fall off and sees his life flash before his eyes (the idea being that he would die of pain). She slips in behind him and puts her hand on his side. "Lean back," she says, close to his ear.

Julian finds this less painful than the other arrangement, and soon he is focusing on loading the movie and starting it with his mind. He cranes his neck carefully, eyes the kitchen—just visible down the hall—and a few minutes later a bowl of popcorn floats into the room, along with some sofas from the fridge.

"Your control is improving," Laura murmurs, against his neck. He feels goose bumps raise on his arms.

"Yeah. I think it's that thing I was doing during…well, sex." He turns his head to look at her and grins slightly. "That's a really good incentive to perfect _anything._"

Laura nods slightly. "I think you are correct. It _has_ improved your intricacy."

"So we can do it more often?" he asks. "If it was like, twice a day I bet I could do, like, needlework with my mind." He's trying to hint to her that he's ready. They haven't done anything together since the night before she'd tried to leave Utopia, about two weeks ago now. He _does_ feel much, much better, and the last few days he's been able to eye down her top when she wasn't looking, and have pain-free reactions. He hasn't told her, but his telekinesis is also becoming finer because she often wears tops that have zippers on the front; when she isn't looking, he likes to unzip them. This had led Laura to believe her tops were too small, and he'd had a hard time convincing her they weren't.

Laura says nothing. They start to watch the movie, Julian holding a mass of popcorn in the air nearby and floating pieces down every so often. They make comments about the film, which is called _The Happening, _and try to decipher what is going on. Laura makes comments about strategy, while Julian's lean more towards analyzing the human behavior.

About three quarters of the way through, Laura's hand strays from resting lightly on his side, slipping down to his waist, and then around, very slowly. He feels her undo his belt, and he almost turns to look at her, then decides not to acknowledge it. He's amazed, as he always is, at how bold Laura is about letting him know when she wants him, and it always makes him instantly ready to go.

She moves slowly. By the time her fingers are at the waistband of his boxers, the movie is ending. The credits start as she actually slips them under, and rest them against his skin.

"Do you still feel pain?"

"Not at all," he murmurs. "Other than my ribs."

"Okay." She sits up and scoots down the sofa. "Roll onto your back."

He flops over carefully, and watches as the girl works him free, then as she suddenly takes him into her mouth, all at once. He almost loses it right there, seconds after being touched; he grips the couch to remain silent and keep it in. She starts to move her lips, and he reaches down and puts a hand on her head. "Can't hold it. Move up a bit," he whispers.

Laura releases him and crawls up the couch again; his reaches up her skirt and moves her underwear to the side, spends a few moments with his fingers, playing around with her folds and randomly releasing energy (which make her growl slightly, her hands gripping his shirt); then he pulls her down. They both arch their backs in satisfaction; he pulls her down and they kiss, deeper than they have for a long time. Laura makes a small noise against his lips, and for a moment he's completely happy.

Then she stiffens and breaks it off. "Cyclops," she whispers. Julian pales. They will be in _big _trouble if he catches them. He pats his chest; she lowers herself, and props her weight on her hands which are supported by the couch on either side of him. It is uncomfortable, but necessary. Then he pulls the blanket up with his mind, and they close their eyes, just as the X-men's leader wanders in, his hair mussed from sleep, and dressed in a plain t-shirt and shorts.

He looks at them. "What are _you _kids doing up?"

"Uh?" Julian asks, like he's just waking up. In reality Laura has down something inside that feels like she's trying to squeeze the life out of him. It feels incredibly good.

Scott looks at the TV screen. "Oh," he says, seeing the movie credits. "Get to bed. You _know_ the curfew."

"Ok." Julian reaches up and rubs his eye. She repeats the squeezing, and he almost punches himself.

The leader doesn't see this, though. His back is turned and he's heading towards the kitchen; Laura sits up just as he's fully exited the room, and does the inside movement again, watching his face. His eyes glow slightly, and in reaction _her _eyes widen.

He is just about to let go when Laura lowers herself again; Scott is re-emerging from the kitchen. Julian tugs the blanket up again, making an exasperated face.

"Emma wants to see on Monday, Hellion," Scott says, sounding tired. "And there's a Danger Room session."

"Uh—okay," Julian says, faking a yawn. She is doing her newfound motion again. He decides that later he will take her to his room and then he will tease her until she begs, which could be a long time, considering Laura has experience withstanding torture.

"Why are you kids still here?" Scott asks.

Julian hesitates. "Tired. We'll get on that, s-sir."

"You'd better. Goodnight, kids."

"Night," Julian says, his face contorted. A few moments pass, then they hear a door closing, down the hall. He grabs her hips. "Christ_…_" he mumbles after about a minute. Laura lays down at his side and looks up at him. "Did that—"

"I liked it," he cuts her off hoarsely, then kisses her. "Come on. Need you in my room."

She gets off of him; he looks at the trash can and throws something out, mentally.

"I wonder, sometimes, what that would feel like," Laura speaks up. "If you did not—"

"Logan would kill me. He's made it quite clear." Julian reaches down and zips himself up. "Maybe someday, but not now."

Laura pauses. "Someday?"

"Maybe. Come _on._ Wasting time." He grins at her.

**…**

Julian strokes her face lightly, almost asleep, like she is. They have explored each other for hours, each reveling in being free to touch the other again after the rough patch they've just been through. Laura looks peaceful again, and he thinks about the fact that she will most probably be there when he wakes up, unlike a few weeks ago.

Then he thinks about what had come up earlier, and remembers a discussion they'd had in the mall, about the future. What _does _he want? He knows he's still young, but sometime not too far away—assuming he survives—he won't be, anymore. Does he see Laura with himself then?

Probably, he realizes. He thinks back to how deeply concerned he had been when Kimura had ripped her apart. It had gone beyond watching a friend suffer; it was much more than a casual attachment. He'd been disturbed to the point of being unable to eat or sleep, fighting himself about just going downstairs and doing what Laura had once instructed him to do: blow Kimura up. Kill her. And then when Laura had indicated she was leaving, he hadn't even cared about the life he'd been trying to make himself here. Granted it wasn't the best one, but it's all he _has. _

He thinks, too, about the times Laura has nearly died. On the floor, in hell; in his arms, after Nimrod had desiccated her. Not moving when the Sentinel had targeted him, so she wouldn't be hurt. And the things he's been willing to do to make sure that doesn't happen, things that usually involve a lot of pain and trouble for himself.

And the things she's done for him. He studies her sleeping face. Out of all the X-men, she is the only one on the team that will die for him, without thought. Loyalty is the word. It's very important to him, and they share this core quality very deeply.

He kisses the top of her head, then closes his eyes, breathing in her scent as he drifts off.

**…**

The next morning when he opens his eyes, Laura is already up, and using his laptop beside him, her legs folded neatly under her. He rests his head on the edge of her leg, and examines the webpage she is viewing. "Budget rent-a-car," he reads out loud.

"I have waited long enough," Laura says. "You have sufficiently recovered." She pauses. "Please, stay here. I do not want you to be hurt."

"Don't go, then," he says.

Laura doesn't answer this. "I have been thinking, on information I have heard before. I believe we can start the search in LA. I am almost certain there is a base there." She pauses. "There is one way to be certain…and I am going to need your help. Get dressed. I have already acquired the access codes we will require."

Julian raises his head. "You're going to interrogate Kimura."

Laura is silent.

"And you want _me _to do it for you." He sits up, runs a hand through his hair as the weight of Laura's assumption hits him. "I'm not going to kill her, Laura."

"I am aware." Laura's lips are pressed together. Her opinion on his reluctance to kill the woman is very clear. "I am asking you to hurt her. Until she tells me what I need to know."

"It's not what we do," Julian says.

"Yes, it _is,_" Laura says, firmly. "Cyclops and Emma Frost employ this tactic. I have seen it."

"…" Julian frowns. "That doesn't make it okay."

"She would do no less to you, if given the chance," Laura says. "She has done it to _me. _By allowing her to keep her silence, _you_ are doing it, to others. There are other projects out there—like myself—and they will not escape unless I help them."

"How can you be so sure?" Julian asks.

"Because after my escape, they are bound to have tightened security throughout the network," Laura says. "These projects…they will not have mothers, like I did. They will remove the one element that causes a weakness to their system."

Julian falls silent for a moment. "What _happened _to your mother, Laura?"

"I do not wish to discuss this," Laura says firmly. This is a matter she believes he has no business to know, and that if he did, he would not listen to all the facts. He would judge her. And therefore she will not give him the chance to.

"I wish you would tell me," he says, with a frown.

Laura ignores this. "Get dressed. We will go perform the task afterwards."

**…**

"How are we even going to do this?" Julian whispers. They are on the lower level—where the prisoners are kept—and Laura has stopped suddenly, squatted, and remained still for about five minutes, peering around the corner every so often.

"Keep your voice down," Laura says. He crouches down behind her and copies her glance around the edge of the wall. Down the hallway, he sees Colossus seated in a chair, reading a magazine.

"Usually, there are two guards," Laura whispers. "At the moment, Danger is being repaired by Maddison Jeffries. She was severely injured when Deadpool freed Kimura. Cyclops is not expecting any trouble at the moment, and thought that Colossus should suffice."

She glances again, as does Julian. He raises his eyebrow, noting that the big Russian's head has tilted down on his chest, and the magazine has slipped to the floor.

Laura rises to her feet. "Be quiet."

They practically tiptoe down the hall, and Laura presses her hand to the panel for the fingerprint scan. Julian is impressed, then realizes that as a member of X-force, she has had privileges that he wouldn't even know of. Cyclops probably has not thought to _remove _these privileges, because, honestly, who could expect Laura to break the rules?

The doors slide open soundlessly, and they begin to head down a long hallway, the reinforced metal panels sliding shut behind them automatically. Julian glances at the girl's face. It is expressionless; he can't fathom what Laura must be thinking, or feeling, about seeing Kimura again after what she had done to her. They enter a large round room, with a circle in the center, formed by seats. In each seat, is a prisoner; their hands are cuffed to the chairs by large braces, and their heads are similarly clamped by stationary helmets. All are asleep.

Laura heads towards Kimura, her face paling slightly. She stands in front of the woman that has abused her for so many years, her handler; for the first time she can just _study_her, without being hurt. Kimura is oblivious, her eyes closed, her face relaxed.

"What's up?" Julian asks her, a few seconds later.

"Nothing." Laura moves to a control panel, in the center. "I am going to wake Kimura, but not unlock the restraints. They are Adamantium, which she cannot break. But you will need to begin immediately." She pauses. "Do you need suggestions?"

"Laura, I can't do this." Julian leans against the pod holding Donald Pierce, and rubs his forehead. "I know she's a bad woman…and…but I'm _not_like that. I don't want to hurt someone."

"You helped me before. To find Cessily."

"That was _different._ We never actually hurt anyone. Well—_you _did—but everything I did was just bluffing. You're asking me to actually cause her _pain._"

Laura gives him a sharp look. "Do not come with me then."

"…" Julian closes his eyes. "You know I'm not letting you go alone."

"Julian, you do not understand. Kimura would kill us _all_, given the chance. She holds information we need, to destroy the facility. If Kimura does not want the pain, she will tell us what she knows. It is her choice." She pauses. "I would…appreciate it."

He looks down miserably, and says nothing. Laura turns back to the control panel and begins to type the command in, to awaken her handler.

"—_utt_—" Kimura's eyes snap open, and she looks around, spots Laura by the console. "_**KILL YOU!**_" she roars, her teeth gritted. "You _**STUPID LITTLE—**__urrk!_" She pauses suddenly, her face contorting; Julian's eyes are glowing. He's still leaning against Donald Pierce's pod.

"Kimura. _Where are the other facilities?_" Laura demands, moving to stand in front of her handler.

"Real tough, X. Bring your little boyfriend to beat me up, without touching me. He's not a coward _at all._"

"_You _spent a big part of your life picking on a girl that was half your size," Julian points out.

"_**GRR!**_" Kimura glares at him. "You're _**DEAD, **_you know that? You first, then the clone. I'm going to rip you limb from limb, and rip off your—"

"I recall your not being able to touch me," Julian says. "Something about my being able to kick your ass by _thinking _about it. So shut up and answer her."

"Right, I'll get right on that," Kimura says. "Or not. I don't think I'm going to tell the clone a _single thing._"

Laura gives him a significant glance. Julian sighs, then makes a motion with his hand, a twisting one.

"_**ARRGH!**_" Kimura arches in her pod; there is a crackling noise. Julian's twisting her arm against its natural position. "NNNgggnnn…" she stares at Laura. "You're in a _world _of trouble, clone. When I get out of here…"

"No one's coming for you," Julian says. "Your friend upped and left. You're going to sit here and _rot_."

"You'll rot in your graves when I kill you. Unless I _eat_ your remains."

"She is not in enough pain," Laura says. "Julian…you have to _hurt_her."

"That's right, kid," Kimura says, grinning. "Hurt me! Come on! I'm going to kill you _anyways._ And all your little friends…and your girlfriend there, hoho, I didn't even have a chance to get _started. _Maybe I'll do you two together…I'll use her intestines to choke you. _**NNNYYAAH!" **_She whips her head to the side lightly, as Julian twists her arm the other way. There is a sharp _**CRACK! **_

"Shit," Julian says, feeling sick. "I didn't—"

"_**WHERE ARE THE OTHER FACILITIES?**_" Laura roars in her face. "I will have him kill you! Tell me, now!"

"Eat shit and die…clone," Kimura pants. Her arm is starting to swell.

"Julian! _Do not stop!_"

He looks at the woman. "How are you sure she even _knows _anything? Maybe she's bluffing. She was the facility's muscle. Maybe she wasn't told about important things like that."

"What? I so do!" Kimura says, outraged.

"I don't believe you," Julian sneers. "You're too dumb to be trusted with stuff like that."

Laura raises her eyebrow. A strategy she hasn't thought of. For all her strength and invulnerability, and cunning in battle…Kimura desires control. Absolute control. Making her feel like she is too unimportant to be in control _will_ have an effect.

"_**SHUT UP! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE! I'LL—**_"

"My family doesn't love me, and at this particular moment in time, I don't give two shits about them," Julian says. "Besides, I fail to see how you're going to bust out of your pod thing here."

Kimura glowers at him. "You stupid piece of—"

"Laura, this is useless. She doesn't know anything," Julian says, grinning.

Playing along, Laura smiles. Being mocked by the clone is more than Kimura can take.

_**"RAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!**_" She struggles in the pod. "_**I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THE FACILITY!" **_

"Prove it," Julian says.

Kimura is silent, her eyes promising death.

"Let's go. This is a waste of time," Julian says. "Put her back to sleep and we can tell Cyclops she's just a useless pawn, and—"

"L.A." Kimura hisses the word. "Seattle. Montana. Detroit. Dallas. New York. Philadelphia. New Orleans. Vancouver. Toronto. Tokyo. London. Helsinki. Rome." She grins at Laura. "It's international. There's nothing you can ever do to change it, clone. Each facility has more than enough clones of _you_ and _me_to stop you for good. That's not counting the hybrid creations."

Julian raises his eyebrows. "Huh. Guess she's brighter than she looks."

Laura's expression is empty, as she considers the implications of the facility being bigger than she'd imagined.

"You won't make it far enough to even _find_ them. I'll kill you first!"

"Promises, promises." Julian looks at Laura. "Can you put her to sleep now? The only danger I feel I'm in is being _bored_ to death."

"_**I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU! I—" **_Kimura's eyes close, moments after Laura has typed a command into the panel.

"That's how you handle people like that," Julian says, smiling at Laura.

Laura glares at him. "You could only achieve that because she is encased in Adamantium, and you knew the X-men would come running if she broke free. You do not appreciate how dangerous she is."

"Laura, I _saw_ what she did to you. But she wasn't going to talk out of pain. _I broke her freakin arm._" He pauses. "I was trying to point out to you…you don't always need to hurt people _physically _to get what you want. There's a way to do it verbally."

"That is because you have had ample practice," Laura says quietly.

Julian stops. "You mean—I wasn't—Laura, that was _ages_ ago. We talked about it."

"No, we did not." She taps a few buttons on the console, then heads for the hallway.

He follows. "Laura—"

"I do not wish to discuss this." She pauses. "Forget I mentioned it."

Julian catches her wrist. "No, we need to talk about this. I thought you _knew._"

"Knew what?"

"That I was crazy about you."

Laura gives him a look of disbelief.

"I was, and I still am. I just learned how to _really _deal with it. Instead of convincing myself that hating on you would make the feeling go away." Julian waits, as she thinks about this. "In a way…I was kinda hoping that you'd notice me…and the fact that I was leading people. That _was_a kind of leading, considering I managed to lead most of them into excluding you."

Laura wrinkles her nose, but she eyes the boy. She knows he does not think this way now, and that he is being honest, which is one quality she values deeply about him. "I do not know these things unless you tell me," she murmurs. "I thought you believed I was an…abomination. That I was...flawed and inadequate."

"Yeah, that's kind of the angle I went for, isn't it?" Julian rubs his neck. "I had no idea you were raised in a _cell_, Laura. I thought you'd kind of get things. Well, I'm sorry it went down that way."

Laura turns her head towards the door. She doesn't look assuaged. "We should go. The sentry's heartbeat is increasing, signifying that he will wake up soon."


End file.
